Ball and Chain(ed)
by M. Rhae
Summary: What if Rayna was pregnant with Luke's child? How would that change Rayna's future decisions, and how would that affect her delicate relationship with Deacon? Luke loved Rayna, but so did Deacon. And Deacon was always there for her, even when she didn't deserve it.
1. I Cross My Heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey, y'all! I've recently discovered the magic that is Nashville, and after watching the first three seasons and now watching the 4th, I've always wondered what would have happened if Rayna accidentally became pregnant with Luke's child while they were dating. I feel like this pregnancy could definitely shake up the plot of the show and cause a lot of complications. This story takes place at the beginning of Episode 19, Season 2 ("Crazy") but takes a turn of its own.

This will be an ongoing story that will still deal with the events of upcoming episodes, but it will have this added twist with its added complications and emotions. Please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

**CHAPTER RECENTLY REVISED TO BETTER DESCRIBE RAYNA'S FEELINGS FOR DEACON*

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o1.**

" **I Cross My Heart" (George Strait)**

It couldn't be true. Taking the container of Dawn dish soap and squeezing it more harshly than she intended to, Rayna continued to wash dishes, her eyes flickering over to the garbage can. As she scrubbed a bowl with scraps of hardened chocolate syrup and bits of peanut back stuck to the edges, she again glanced at the slightly ajar garbage can, her eyes piercing through to the pink surface of the pregnancy test.

Scrubbing harder, Rayna thought back to those wild romps with him during his tour. She thought of how quickly it had all happened and how passionate it had been, and she thought of how she had failed to use protection. She couldn't exactly blame herself – after Daphne was born, the doctor had told her and Teddy that it was almost impossible for her to become pregnant, and they certainly didn't have any worries for the eight years after that. But what Rayna only just now realized was the indefinite nature of the word _almost_. Almost was still a probability, and as far as Rayna was concerned, her fertility had beaten all the odds.

But most prominently, as Rayna continued to scrub the brown-painted plate clutched desperately in her hands, she thought of how complicated her paternal situation was with Maddie and Daphne, and she thought of how much worse it would be with this one. Also, she thought, feeling a tear threaten to escape, she thought about how it would all be her fault, _again._

"Hey." Jumping slightly, Rayna turned around to see Luke enter the kitchen, stopping to look over at her.

"Hey," she replied, touching her hair and glancing down at the garbage can. Did he know? He couldn't possibly know. She herself had only just found out! She was being ridiculous, but as she swallowed the lump in her throat and looked back up at Luke, she couldn't quite shake the panic and guilt that raked through her stomach. "How ya doin'?"

"Listen, I... I know what I said about needing time and all that, but..." _Of course,_ Rayna thought, trying as hard as she possibly could not to look back at the garbage can. O _f course it's about how we left things last night at his concert. Of **course**_ _he wouldn't know anything._ "I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did," he continued, "and I'm sorry."

He was sorry? Honestly, Rayna almost let out a laugh. After everything that happened last night and everything that happened this morning, he of all people had nothing to be sorry for. _Rayna_ was the one who kept secrets from everyone she loved and _Rayna_ was the one to drag everyone into the mess; truly, Ranya realized that she alone was the only person to blame. Her entire life was starting to feel as if it were built on a series of lies, and as she stood there trying _not_ to look back at that garbage can, she wondered if she could ever change the mold.

"Man, it got crazy last night." To say the least. Luke had discovered that Deacon was Maddie's father, and Maddie had posted a video calling herself "Maddie Claybourne." Crazy didn't serve it all justice, to be honest. But hey, it got crazy.

"Yeah," he agreed, chuckling toward the end. Hearing his laugh was reassuring, but Rayna still knew that he wanted to say more. She felt nervous knots mix in with the guilt, and she hoped he wouldn't press the subject any further. She really hoped he would instead talk about the tour, talk about his kids, talk about his ranch – talk about _anything._ "The thing is, I..." He paused just then, sighing. "I got a sore spot when it comes to Deacon."

That was the _last_ thing Rayna was expecting him to say. He wanted to talk about Deacon again? Even after they agreed to leave it alone last night? And he had a _sore spot_ for him?

Things had always gotten complicated when it came to Deacon. That had always been the case. Deacon had been around for over half of Rayna's lifetime now, and as she had admitted to both herself and to him, there was no difference when it came to music and to Deacon; they were one in the same, and no matter how hard she tried to deny it, that was just the way ir was. Deacon just _couldn't_ not be in her life, as they had miserably realized.

"You do?" She wasn't sure where this would go, so she proceeded carefully, feeling her muscles tense.

"Yeah, it goes way back. You remember the' 92 Oklahoma State Fair?"

"Yeah – You know I do." That was a _long_ time ago. As Rayna hopped up onto the counter, keeping the garbage can distinctly to her backside, she really didn't know where this was going. "The two of us stuck up on the top of that Ferris wheel... Best seats in the house for that George Strait show."

"Yeah," he said, slightly impatient, "but before that, before we hit the Midway. You know, we were still a bunch of nobodies that had to play a tent outside the Livestock, and you were about to start your set, but... you couldn't find Deacon anywhere."

Oh. Looking down, Rayna _did_ remember that. It had been such a common occurrence that it didn't really stand out anymore, but of course Luke would remember. And of course he would bring it up. "And you sat in for him. I remember."

"I never could understand why you put up with it for all those years. The way he treated you, the way he disappeared..." No one ever understood. Glancing down at her shoes, Rayna knew that no one could possibly understand. Especially not Luke, who indeed had witnessed it all and experienced it first-hand with her. Why did he need to bring this up again? Why did it even matter? And why was _he_ staring off distantly behind her, alarmingly close to the garbage can?

"Anyway," he continued, looking at her carefully, "you were still pretty torn up about it after your set, so I thought, you know, maybe this is it. Maybe this is the night she finally _sees_ me." She looked over at him then, feeling a sad sort of ache fill her heart. He was a nice guy. Luke had always been a nice, nice guy. He didn't deserve any of this. "But even alone together on top of the world on that Ferris wheel with George Strait singing I Cross My Heart, all you could talk about was Deacon."

Deacon was all she'd ever known; he was all she ever needed. It had always been that way, and in a lot of ways, it still was, even though it wasn't. Again resisting the urge to glance back at that garbage can, Rayna realized that history was starting to repeat itself, as ironic and morbid as that could be. "That's how it was back then."

"We're here now... Right?"

"Mhmm." But were they? _Yes._ They were there, her sitting on her kitchen counter and Luke leaning next to her. The way he looked at her, Rayna _knew_ that Luke loved her. She could tell by the way his eyes shimmered softly and the way his mouth formed a gentle smile, and she knew by the way his body was leaned toward her, comfortable and natural. _But so did Deacon._ That thought was always there in the back of her mind. _Deacon loves you. Deacon has always loved you._

Was this the right time to tell Luke about the baby, then? Rayna shook off that voice and focused on the matter at hand. Didn't she _owe_ it to Luke to tell him? Would there ever be a perfect moment to share something like this?

"Luke," she whispered, her eyes looking past him and into the living room, "I think I need to –"

Before she could finish, her phone started ringing. Glancing down at the Highway 65 cover, she knew it was Bucky, and since it was so soon after last night's incident, she knew it had to be important. Bucky would never intrude on her personal time following something like that if it wasn't damn important.

"This is Bucky, I should probably –"

"Go ahead." He was so understanding; he was so _nice._ Couldn't Rayna trust him? After everything they'd already been through together, wouldn't he be able to handle the truth? Wouldn't he be able to maturely and lovingly handle the situation of their unborn child?

But after hearing the news from Bucky, Rayna felt as if everything had changed perspective. Up became down and left became right as she turned on the television and watched her baby girl's paternity be scrutinized and outright _judged_ on national television. She didn't know what to even feel anymore, and as she turned the television off and turned back to Luke, she knew that she had to do it. Now that everything was public, she knew that hiding it from him would only make it worse.

"Rayna, I... I don't know how that could have happened." Luke began to pace the room, shaking his head furiously. "I told Colt not to post it, and you have to believe that he didn't. He would _never_ do anything like this to Maddie, Rayna. Not after I explained to him how private you like to keep her life. I _swear_ to you that he didn't do it."

"Luke," she rasped, feeling the tears start to fall down her cheeks. Instantly he was there, holding her steady and stroking her hair, placing a kiss on her head.

"It's gonna be alright, Rayna," he crooned, holding her tighter. "Everything will work out. Bucky will know how to handle this, and Maddie's gonna be fine."

"No, Luke." It was important that he look at her and that she wasn't folded pathetically in his arms. Squirming out of his grip, she took a step back and took one final look at the garbage can, clearing her throat.

"This isn't our only problem right now." He tilted his head to the side and looked at her closely, waiting. Was that the mark of a patient, understanding man? Was that the appropriate behavior of the person she would spend a lifetime raising a child with? "I took a pregnancy test today, and... it was positive." Fighting back the tears, Rayna looked up directly into Luke's widened blue eyes. "I'm pregnant, and it's yours."


	2. Whiskey Lullaby

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey! Thank you so much for the reviews and for the interest in this story. I think it'll be an interesting ride, and I hope you stick around to see how it all turns out! Let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o2.**

" **Whiskey Lullaby" (Brad Paisley)**

"Congratulations, Ms. Jaymes. The test results are back, and you're twelve weeks pregnant."

Twelve weeks. _Twelve weeks._ Sitting there on the examination table, Rayna smiled and thanked the nurse, but in reality, she was utterly stunned. She had been pregnant for twelve weeks and hadn't even noticed. She didn't feel sick and she didn't feel particularly moody, but surely she or one of her costume people would have noticed that her breasts became fuller and her stomach grew larger? She had put on some weight, but Rayna had assumed that was just due to the stress of trying to run her label and take care of her family. Her period had come later than normal the past three months, but Rayna had just thought (or rather _hoped)_ that she was finally starting menopause. Clearly, though, she was wrong, and clearly she was pregnant with her third child by a third man.

"That's wonderful!" Luke, however, was ecstatic. Grinning broadly, he shook the nurse's hand and then sat down on the table next to Rayna, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "Twelve weeks, darlin'." He rested his forehead against hers, his blue eyes gazing at her softly. "We're gonna have a baby."

He had taken the news quite well. Better than Rayna had, even. Immediately following her revelation, Luke had grabbed Rayna's keys and drove her to a low-key clinic in College Grove, just to be sure. He wasn't angry and he didn't yell at her. On the contrary, he had hugged her and kissed her more passionately than he had done in weeks, and he made Rayna feel like a complete and utter bitch for feeling the exact opposite.

It wasn't so much that Rayna didn't want the baby. To be honest, she had been crushed when the doctor told her Daphne would most likely be her last, and she had cried about it for months as she and Teddy tried desperately to conceive another child. She had grown to accept the fact that the good Lord just didn't plan for her to have another one, but now, she had to accept the fact that the good Lord changed his mind.

Even though this pregnancy was nothing short of a miracle (especially given her age), Rayna couldn't help feeling guilty and pained at the life she would be bringing this baby into. The truth was that there were more things at stake than there were in the past. It was different with Maddie and Daphne because, at the time, Rayna wasn't quite so famous, and her personal and professional lives certainly weren't so blown out of proportion like they were now. Society wasn't watching her every move and reveling in her every misstep, but now it was.

Luke's entanglement made it even more complicated. Rayna loved Luke, she truly did, but she hadn't given much thought to how much she loved him and how far their relationship would go. Her love life had always been complicated due to the whole Deacon thing, but now, there were so many different parties involved and so much going on that Rayna didn't know _what_ she was going to do, especially after the entire "Maddie Claybourne" incident.

Claybourne. _Deacon_ Claybourne. For some reason, as Luke helped Rayna down from the table and walked her out the door, she couldn't stop thinking about Deacon. Regardless of what she was going through right now with this baby and with Luke, Deacon was hurting. She knew he would be hurting _bad._ Their biggest secret had just been broadcasted to all of America, and while she and Luke could privately deal with this baby and privately plan their next move, Deacon wouldn't have that same chance. His house would be swarmed with paparazzi desperate to get the big scoop, and with Deacon's temper, damage would definitely be done. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

"I have to talk to Deacon." Luke paused, frowning as Rayna pulled out her cell phone and hopped into the passenger seat of her car. It looked as if he wanted to say something, but he went around to the other side of the car as Rayna pushed the green call button and put her phone to her ear, waiting.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"You better be right about this, Rayna." Pulling into the driveway of Deacon's cabin, Luke eased the brakes and parked just beside the house, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "You better damn well be right about this."

"Of course I'm right," Rayna snapped, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door. "He always comes here when things like this happen. Just wait here while I go and find him."

"Are you kiddin' me?" Quicker than Rayna could have anticipated, Luke jumped out of the SUV and ran over to Rayna's side, closing the door for her and taking her arm. "I'm not letting you go in there alone."

"I'll be _fine,_ Luke. It's just Deacon."

"Yeah, it's just Deacon, and he just might have started drinking. You think I'm gonna let you go in there and face that? Especially when you're carrying our child?"

There it was – the child card. Rayna expected something like this to happen. Of _course_ Luke would now be using their unborn child as an excuse to get involved in anything that didn't include him. Luke would play the concerned, need-to-know daddy who only had Rayna's best interests at heart, and Rayna would feel completely and utterly guilty for every decision she made that could potentially affect him.

In that instant, Rayna fully realized just how connected she and Luke's lives would be from then on. Even if she didn't know what their next relationship move would be, he would still be in her life, just like Deacon always would be. If she were to be honest with herself, she didn't know how she felt about that. She certainly didn't know how she felt about his current behavior, so she couldn't possibly know how she felt about where the two of them would be in the future.

"Stop it, Luke." Pulling away, Rayna broke to a trot, almost nearing the door. She couldn't' deal with this right now. She had to face one thing at a time. "I can take care of myself."

"God _damn_ it, Rayna."

As Rayna reached out for the sliding door, however, she looked over to her right and stopped, her jaw tightening.

"Hell no." Luke saw it, too: the empty whiskey bottle lying on the grass. "Oh _hell_ no. Rayna, can't you understand that this is who he is? Can't you finally see how _dangerous_ he is?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Deacon?" Storming inside, Rayna didn't want to believe it. He had done so well the past fourteen years with only that one slip, which had been entirely her fault. But now, he was in a new relationship, he and Maddie had a special bond, he was starting to get back into his music – he had too much going for him. There was nothing Rayna could have done to ruin it for him again, and with all of her heart, Rayna prayed that it just wasn't true and that he was able to deal with this situation maturely. "Deacon?"

"What the hell, Rayna?" Dark circles hung below Deacon's eyes as he threw his shirt on and entered the living room, his eyes adjusting to the light and stopping dead at the sight of Luke.

"What the hell." Rayna knew that look too well. Holding up the bottle, she fought back the tears that scratched her throat. Deacon moved his eyes from Luke to the bottle, and in an instant, that frustrated look was back – the one he used many, many times before.

"Damn it."

"Whoa, whoa!" Deacon had lunged forward to take the bottle, but Luke was there, closing in the distance between Deacon and Rayna. Deacon glared at him, his fists curling, but Luke stood his ground. "Take it easy."

"Why did you do this?" _How_ could he do this? Rayna knew that Maddie's video would be hard on him, but it was hard on her, too. It was hard on everybody. As her parents, they needed to be there for one another, and since Deacon was Maddie's father, Rayna _needed_ him. "Why did you do this?"

"I didn't drink, Rayna, alright? I poured it out the second I got here. I –"

"You just trashed the place, too? Really?"

"I'm redecorating."

"I've seen you redecorate."

"Yeah, well, you're seeing it again." They merely stared at each other, each searching for something in the other's gaze. For Rayna it was sincerity, and for Deacon... Rayna couldn't even imagine. "Maybe you can take your body guard here and just go."

This wasn't going to be easy. On the ride there, Rayna had thought of dozens of different conversations to have with him, but it was never the same when he was actually standing in front of her and looking at her like that, like she _betrayed_ him. It certainly wasn't any easier with Luke standing right there, and since Rayna would also have to inform Deacon of her pregnancy, she didn't know if she could do it in front of Luke. She just didn't know what to do about anything.

"Luke, can you give us a second, please?"

He paused. It was almost as if he knew. Did she wear it so clearly on her face? Was he able to read her that well? "Yeah. I'll be outside."

"Thanks."

He left, and as soon as he slid the door shut and made his way out of sight, Rayna looked back over at Deacon, feeling her suppressed tears start to fall. Deacon held her gaze, his own eyes slightly misty, and Rayna felt that connection surge between them, as strong as always. _Damn_ how she always felt that connection.

"How could you bring him up here?"

"I didn't want to." That surprised him, and he waited as she added, "he was driving me back from the clinic, so I really didn't have a choice."

"Hold up. He took you to the clinic?" There was concern to his voice. _Damn_. "Why the hell were you at the clinic, Rayna? You alright?"

Taking a deep breath, Rayna knew that this was the most logical time to tell him. He directly asked her. But as she stared at him, his lip slightly pouting and his eyebrows furrowed, she _couldn't_. She knew that he cared about her, and after the blaze of panic that had surged through her body at the sight of that empty liquor bottle, Rayna knew that she cared about him, too. No matter how hard she tried to move on with her life and stop feeling so completely and irrevocably attached to him, she just couldn't. And perhaps she would never be able to.

"That's not important right now," Rayna finally answered, shaking her head and closing her eyes. "We need to talk about Maddie right now."

Deacon let out half a protest and then stopped. Rayna opened her eyes to see him staring at her again, his face scrunched up. "Rayna, there's something goin'... but, Maddie? What?"

He never was the most emotionally sophisticated. Biting back a laugh, Rayna remembered how many times he would get flustered when he had more than one emotionally-pressing thing happening at a time. He couldn't deal with her crying hysterically during her periods and then laughing her head off seconds later, and as way more complicated as all of this was now, she knew that he wasn't able to fully confront it.

"You didn't see the video?" His eyes widened and his lip parted. _He didn't know._ And now Rayna had to be the one to tell him, amidst everything else.

"Rayna, what the hell's going on?"

"Oh, Deacon." It was just too much. It was all too much. " _Damn_ it, Deacon, I didn't expect to have to tell you, but..." Her voice trailed off, and she looked him directly in the eye. As if nothing had happened between them over the years, he stepped forward, taking her hands. "Maddie posted a video on YouTube and called herself Maddie Claybourne. The View got a hold of it, so now the entire world knows about our daughter."

For a few moments, he didn't say anything. Standing there, his fingers entwined with hers, Deacon merely stared into her eyes and watched her.

"There's something else you're not tellin' me." She broke away just then. He saw it in her eyes, and she didn't want to go there. "No, Ray. I know that there is. Why were you at the clinic with Luke? What's _wrong_?"

"Nothin' is wrong, okay?" She couldn't do it yet. Even though every cell of Rayna's being _wanted_ to tell him, she just wasn't as ready as she thought she'd be. She remembered how hard it had been to tell him about Daphne and how hurt and conflicted he had felt, and she wasn't emotionally able to go through that again. Not right now. "What I need you to do is not worry about me but worry about Maddie. This is a big deal and I need you to be there for her, and for me. Can you do that?"

Blue eyes met blue, and he nodded. "Yeah. You know I can, Ray. Always will."

Just then, there was a sharp tap on the door. Rayna jumped, seeing Luke peering through the glass door. Even though she and Deacon weren't holdings hands anymore, she wondered if he had seen them doing so, and she wondered what he was going to say to her later. Guilt struck her again as she thought of how loving and supportive he was being during this time, and she kept thinking about how she didn't deserve that and how he was too good for her. Tears filled her eyes for the fourth time that day, and she felt as if she were completely losing it.

"Rayna..." Not seeming to care that Luke was right there, Deacon leaned forward and wiped Rayna's tears with his thumb. The door slid open and Luke started shouting, but Deacon was still there, his breath warm on Rayna's face. "You can tell me, you know. You can tell me _anything."_

 _I know,_ Rayna thought, closing her eyes as Luke took Deacon by the shirt and dragged him away, their heads practically butting. The two men started to push each other around, yelling about this and yelling about that, but Rayna didn't even care anymore. _Deacon_ was the one person she could tell anything to, yet there she was, standing there with _Luke's_ baby worrying about how he would react to Deacon.

It was all just too much, and as Rayna's phone rang and lit up with the Highway 65 emblem, she knew that she had to push it all aside and take care of the Maddie situation – for her sake and for _all_ of her children's sake.


	3. Already Callin' You Mine

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here is chapter 3, split between Rayna, Deacon, AND Luke's POVs. There's also a little bit of dialogue pulled directly from the show, but then there's another, ah, _complication..._ I'm working out future updates now and there will be more soon! Please leave a review and let me know what you think, and have a good one!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o3.**

" **Already Callin' You Mine" (Parmalee)**

"Babe, I know you have to do this whole GMA thing for Maddie's sake, but I'd be lyin' if I said this didn't all bother me." Luke was driving Rayna to the studio, and as they turned the corner onto the expressway, she closed her eyes. "I mean, everyone's all hyped up about this whole Teddy and Deacon show-off, so what does that mean about me? Are we gonna be doin' this in a year because everyone will think our baby is Deacon's?"

She really couldn't blame him. Trying not to reveal her wariness, Rayna reached over and took Luke's hand, squeezing it gently. "I understand, babe." And she did. It was hard, hard for _everyone,_ but especially for Luke. He and Rayna had been dating for several months, and their lives were starting to become intertwined. Drama always seemed to follow Rayna, so now, drama would follow him, too. And it wasn't fair.

"It's just... What are we gonna do about our baby?" He didn't look at her, but Rayna could see the crease in his mouth, which meant that he was serious about something. "It'll have Maddie and Daphne in its life, of course, and Colt and Sage, but what about Teddy and Deacon? How is this all gonna work?"

"This isn't something we can discuss right now, hon." It really wasn't. They had only just discovered the pregnancy a couple days ago, and Rayna had more pressing things to attend to. She knew Luke was probing Rayna for her thoughts on their future together, but since she'd been dancing around the subject, she was firm in not wanting to discuss it. "We'll figure everything out. It'll be fine."

He didn't answer her. They pulled into the studio's parking lot and he shut off the ignition of his truck before finally turning around to look at her. He gave her that small, lopsided smile that she loved so much, and as he reached over to put his hand over Rayna's neck, massaging it softly, Rayna felt warmth spread through her body.

Luke really was a good man, and Rayna knew that he would be a good father to this baby. Unlike Deacon, he wasn't locked away in rehab, and he was ready to take full responsibility. He already had kids and he was already so good with Rayna's kids, so there really wouldn't be a problem regarding Luke's ability to be a father. That worry never crossed Rayna's mind.

However, something else did: was she ready to be with him for the rest of her life? Babies had a way of bringing people together, but would that be the way it worked out with Luke? A part of Rayna could see her married to Luke and could see the two of them lying in bed together with their newborn baby, but another part saw something different. It saw strong fingers playing well-worn guitar strings, and it saw the life that Rayna had always wished to have.

Shaking off these thoughts, Rayna leaned forward to peck Luke's cheek before unbuckling her seatbelt. "We'd better get going. I've got a lot to do here over the next hour."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Excuse me." Deacon made his way through the backstage wings, taking care to ram into Luke's shoulder as he did so. It hurt a little bit, to be honest, but seeing the cowboy's start of surprise and annoyance was worth it. Deacon strangely felt like a child engaged in a game of tug-of-war, which he was _definitely_ winning. "Y'all got another chair?"

He immediately looked over at Rayna, and he felt satisfied to see her face brighten up. Jumping out of her chair, she turned to the producer and said, "Can you give us one quick second, please?" before rushing over to him.

Rayna was always like that. Whenever something happened, be it good, bad, or ugly, she always took control. He could see it in her eyes, which were trained on him with all of the Rayna-Jaymes-intensity that Deacon had ever known. It was always in her eyes, if you knew how to read them. And Deacon did. Everything he ever needed to know about Rayna was always nestled in her eyes.

"Hey." Glancing sideways at Luke, who was still rubbing his arm, Rayna pulled Deacon off to the side. Her touch was gentle, and for a moment, it made Deacon want to smile. He almost wanted to reach out and touch her _,_ too _._ "I didn't think you were comin'."

"I'm here." Had she really doubted him? Her eyes were slightly glassy, and they gazed unflinchingly into his. That was her way of trying to hide the answer. _She had doubted. She really, truly did._ "What do you want me to say?"

Rayna was painfully aware that Luke could hear their entire conversation. Deacon knew this by the way she looked around warily, and he knew by the tone of her voice. It was tight, controlled, low and serious, and it was the tone she reserved for careful situations like this. Normally her voice, like her eyes, was full of such vibrant emotion, but at the moment, it wasn't. It was flat, and it was namely unbecoming of her. "Well, I want you to tell the truth."

"You sure about that?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Still the act. Glaring into her eyes, which, unlike her voice, started to dance a little bit, Deacon knew that she was serious, but he also knew that she was unhappy. She had never wanted it to go down like this, and to be fair, neither did Deacon.

"Then that's what I'll do." At this she bristled, trying to gauge what he meant, but he wouldn't give it to her. Unlike her, Deacon could wear a poker face.

"Sorry, folks – New York is on a tight schedule. Can we go?"

"Let's do it." Without waiting for her, Deacon turned around and strode over to his chair, not even bothering to look at Teddy. He sensed her lingering back in the wings, and without even having to look back, he knew that it would be because Luke was hovering like a goddamn idiot and Rayna was lost between what she felt was right and what she felt was proper.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey, Luke! Luke!" As soon as he left the studio, Luke was completely mobbed by paparazzi. An entire crowd moved in on him as he made his way out to his truck. Microphones were jabbed in his face, cameras were waving madly, and people were just getting too close and personal for Luke Wheeler's liking. "Talk to us, Luke! How do you feel about your girlfriend's baby daddies?"

 _Damn_ these people! The entire country world was gossiping about Rayna and her long-lived love triangle, and no one even knew the truth. They didn't understand how much of a bastard Deacon was in the day and how hard it was for Rayna to keep Maddie from him, and they didn't understand how Luke had to watch it all happen, not able to do a thing.

More importantly, though, he realized as people continued to shout daddy banter at him, the world didn't know what a good father figure Luke had been to Rayna's kids. He knew that it hadn't gotten to that level yet, but he also knew that he sincerely loved those kids. He'd often take little Daphne out to his ranch to pet all the animals and ride all the horses, and he even was there at one of Maddie's talent shows and picked her up from school a time or two. He was _there_ for them, and it was more than what the paparazzi could perceive. They were starting to become a _family._

According to Rayna, the world deserved to know the truth about Maddie and the circumstances of her birth, but the world didn't deserve to know about him? No one was supposed to care about how much Luke had sacrificed to be a part of Rayna's life and how now he and Rayna would be having a child of their own? Those parts just weren't as important?

"Hey, Luke!" A particularly zealous reporter stepped in Luke's path, almost causing a collision. "Are you gonna be Dad number 3?"

It was then that Luke _lost_ it. Taking the man's microphone, Luke threw it to the ground and turned around to face all the reporters, whose cameras and microphones were now directly zoomed-in on him. That question hit a nerve because that's all they saw him to be right now: another lover of the famous Rayna Jaymes. They saw another scandal, another front-news story, and by God, they had no idea which tree they were barking up.

"Yeah," Luke shouted, his fists clenched as he stared into the cameras. "I am, actually. Rayna and I are expecting a baby. Y'all happy now? There's your goddamn front page story. Now get the hell out of my way."


	4. Lose My Mind

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's the next installment of the story. This chapter was more difficult to write since it dealt with such powerful, complicated emotions, but I hope I didn't screw it up too badly. Please let me know what you think, and please stayed tuned for more updates! Thanks so much for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o4.**

" **Lose My Mind" (Brett Eldredge)**

"Please tell me you didn't." Struggling to unclasp her necklace, whose fine hook was too small for her shaking fingers, Rayna stared at her reflection in the mirror. She watched Luke's reflection bury his face into his hands, and she watched her own reflection stand numbly in front of the mirror. By watching it this way, it was almost as if Rayna were watching it happen to someone else. It was almost as if wasn't real; it was almost as if she didn't have to actually _feel_ it. "Please tell me you didn't just tell the world about our baby and completely undermine everything we've been through."

His hands still covering his face, Luke said nothing. He merely stood there, slouched over like a coward. _A coward._ As Rayna set her necklace down on the vanity and turned around to face him, reflections couldn't hold her back anymore.

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"I wasn't! Rayna, I don't know what came over me, I just –"

"You just what? You just felt like telling everyone our business? Our _private_ business?"

"I didn't mean to, babe. I was tryin' to go back to my truck and –"

"And it just fell from your lips? You were just suddenly inspired to betray me and my trust?"

Of all the things that could have happened to Rayna today, this was _not_ what she had been expecting. When she woke up that morning, this pregnancy was the least of her problems. The pregnancy hadn't even _been_ a problem! The interview had gone well (thanks to Deacon's no-nonsense attitude), and it looked like the Maddie Claybourne issue was going to be smoothly resolved. The press couldn't make a scandal of something that Rayna confronted directly, but now _this_ happened, and now she had to deal with it all over again.

" _Damn_ it, Rayna," Luke was saying, his face flushing and his body stiffening. "Is this all about you? What about me? What if _I_ want people to know?"

"You are perfectly entitled to feel that way, Luke, but yes, it _is_ all about me." Rayna took a deep breath, feeling the tears come. She had never admitted this to anyone before, but she couldn't stop it – the words just tumbled out. "The world just recently discovered that I have two children by two different fathers, and this will now be my third baby by a third father." She paused just then, feeling the words scratch in her throat. "I'm trying to run my own label and carry on with my life, but now all anyone is going to talk about is how much of a slut I am."

It felt better once the words were out, but still, Rayna couldn't help the sobs that came after. She understood how horribly vicious people could be, and she understood how much worse it was since she was a public figure. To be honest, that fear of slut-shaming was one of Rayna's original worries after she had Daphne and after she considered telling Deacon about Maddie, and it was a worry that still haunted her, especially now. People could think that was selfish or vain of her, but it didn't matter – that was how she felt.

Luke did nothing. He merely stood there, his eyes glaring down at the carpet, and Rayna started to wonder if she even knew him as well as she thought she did. Wouldn't a loving companion console Rayna and be there for her? Didn't he know how much this entire situation hurt her? If anything, he should have been more apologetic than defensive after what he had done, and Rayna started to seriously doubt how she could possibly raise a baby with a man who acted like one himself.

"Well," he finally said, his voice low and tight. Rayna was waiting for it, for the apology, the sympathy, or even plain acknowledgement of her (and their) predicament, but it never came. "Maybe you should have thought about all that before you jumped into everyone's beds. For once in your life, maybe you need to stop running away from the _truth._ "

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Get out." Rayna wasn't a particularly violent person, but this was too much. Lunging forward, she grabbed Luke by the shirt and pushed him back, causing him to crash into her armoire. He hit his head and he reached back to rub it, his blue eyes wide as he stared at her, but Rayna didn't care. "Get out. I can't even look at you right now." He was still staring at her, his eyes conveying shock, alarm, and, most prominently, _hurt_. "GET OUT! Get the _hell_ out of my house!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

 _Wheelin' and Dealin' – Luke Wheeler as Rayna Jaymes' Third Baby Daddy?_ Rayna scrolled down, her eyes quickly scanning the article titles. _Rayna Jaymes – "It's My Life" Plus One?_ This _couldn't_ be happening. _Baby Number Three – Why Rayna Jaymes Can't Stick to One Man._

It would only be a matter of time before the girls found out. Staring at her watch, which read 11:37, Rayna prayed they didn't know. _She_ had to be the one to tell them, and she had to frame it the right way. She had already planned her speech about how they would never be replaced and how she would always love them, and she already anticipated for them to be angry and to be confused. Originally Rayna had planned on Luke being there with her, but after what just happened... Rayna didn't know. She just didn't know.

The girls didn't get out of school until 3:30, but Rayna couldn't wait that long. Her hormones and nerves would drive her insane, and she knew that she owed it to the girls to take care of this situation before they could get hurt by it. Picking up her keys, she realized that it was times like these where she really missed Tandy. Things had been rocky between them since their father's death, but she had always been there for Rayna, as a true sister would. Tandy was truly Rayna's rock and her support system, and she made a mental note to give Tandy a call after she picked up the girls.

Before she could reach the door, however, her phone rang. Glancing down, she saw his name, and a strong jolt of feeling shot through her body.

"Deacon."

"Tell me if it's true." It was a command – it was an _order._ Rayna had only heard that tone a handful of times throughout the entirety of their relationship, and it never amounted to anything good. "Tell me if it's true and I promise I'll leave you alone."

If she were to be honest with herself, Rayna didn't _want_ him to leave her alone. She didn't want Deacon to ignore her and shun her like every other man in her life. On the contrary, she wanted to cry on his shoulder and she wanted him to tell her that everything would be alright. Deacon was always the one she could talk to about anything, and Rayna wanted it to stay that way. She didn't want it to be like this.

"Deacon, we need to talk about this. Can you meet me somewhere? I –"

"Is it true?" Emotion leaked through his voice on this one, and Rayna knew that he knew. But she knew that he needed to hear it from her, and she knew that doing so would break his heart.

"Yes." Silence met her words, but she knew he was still there. "Deacon, I don't want it to be this way. Can we please just –"

"I'll just leave you to it, then. Goodbye, Rayna."

He had hung up on her numerous times before, but it had never hurt like this. Pulling her phone away from her ear and staring at it, Rayna saw her reflection in the gorilla glass. Her eyes were puffy from all the crying, and even in the faint reflection, her face was a clear mess of pain and anguish.

Taking in a deep breath and trying to steady the small sobs escaping her chest, Rayna closed her eyes. At that moment, she wished desperately that she could see someone else in the reflection. For a brief moment, she hated every single thing about being Rayna Jaymes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Deacon...?" His truck was parked outside, so Rayna knew he was home. She had busted in unannounced frequently throughout the years, but for some reason, this time felt different. Something felt _wrong_. "Deacon? I know you're in there, so I'm comin' in."

Gingerly opening the door and stepping inside, it was then that Rayna saw him sitting on the couch in front of the coffee table. He was moving the shot glass up to his mouth, and without thinking, without breathing, she dropped her purse and ran at him full-speed, her body colliding with his as the couch tipped over and they both went crashing to the floor.


	5. Better Than I Used to Be

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey there! Thanks so much for reading my story and following along with it. Here's the next chapter. As always, please let me know you think, and stay tuned for more!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o5.**

 **Better Than I Used to Be (Tim McGraw)**

 _Hey, it's Rayna. Leave a message and I'll get back to ya._

That was the fifth time Luke's call went straight to Rayna's voicemail, and as he sat there in his truck outside of her empty house, he felt as if his heart was going to beat itself out of his chest. "Hey, it's me again. I'm really sorry, babe, and I just need to talk to you. I don't wanna leave things the way we did, so please give me a call."

Luke had always had a problem with his temper. He hated that part of himself, but it was true. As a child, he had always cried and screamed for attention until his voice became hoarse, and he always flared up at the neighborhood kids whenever things didn't go his way. His teachers had spoken to his parents about it on countless occasions, and Luke had even gotten fired from a few of his earlier tech jobs due to completely tearing up his supervisors in front of the entire crew.

Despite all that, though, it _wasn't_ who Luke was – it wasn't who he wanted to be. He was typically able to control his emotions and keep it all locked down. His therapists had taught him how to wait before he reacted and how to try viewing the situation from a different perspective, but sometimes, Luke just couldn't do that. He lost it earlier with Rayna because, no matter how many different ways he looked at it, he still lost. Everything was his fault and she didn't stop for a _second_ to consider how _he_ felt. To be honest, he just wished so very desperately that she cared about him and his feelings as much as she cared about hers and her children's fathers'.

Truly and sincerely, Rayna meant everything to Luke. He knew that since the day he sat with her on top of that Ferris wheel, and he knew it now as he drove over to the girls' school. He didn't know if Rayna had gotten them yet, but on the off chance that she hadn't, he would do it. That's how much Luke loved Rayna, and it's for reasons like this that he wished he could have some kind of reciprocation. Rayna told Luke that she loved him, but in reality, she hardly ever _showed_ it. She didn't do little things for him or go out of her way to make his life easier, and though Luke respected that her ways of showing affection were different, he still sometimes craved little things like that.

In a lot of ways, Luke couldn't help but think that Rayna held so much compassion and feeling for everyone _but_ him. He saw the way she panicked at the cabin when she thought Deacon had been drinking, and at the same time, he saw the pain and longing directed toward Deacon when Luke had burst through the door to pull Deacon off her. She was even more emotionally attuned to him earlier at the GMA studio. It was as if Luke hadn't even been there, even though he was, supporting her as usual.

As Luke drove over to the girls' school to pick them up and shield them from all the buzz that he had created, a part of him wondered how long this would last. He wondered if he and Rayna would ever become a family after all, and most importantly, he wondered how that would work out with their baby on the way.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Rayna?" Lifting his head up, Deacon winced at a piece of glass wedged into his neck, which had produced a puncture that started bleeding freely. He sat up slowly, and so did Rayna, whose blouse was covered with the whiskey that had exploded from the shot glass. She too had bits of glass submerged across her left arm, but as she sat up, she didn't care about it – she only cared about Deacon.

"Deacon," she whispered, moving forward and grabbing the front of his shirt. She leaned over him as she peered at him closely, determining if he had been drinking prior to her entrance. She didn't see the haze that usually filtered around his eyes, and of course she smelled booze because she was wearing two ounces of it on her shirt. He stared up at her, his eyes wide and full of emotion, and Rayna stared back, clutching his shirt tighter.

"Get off of me!" He shoved against her roughly, causing her to fall sideways and hit the ground – _hard_. "What the hell are you doing, tackling me like that? Who do you think you are?"

Rayna fell onto more glass, which nicked the soft part of her neck, but that didn't sting as much as the fact that Deacon was possibly falling off the wagon again entirely because of her. She should have told him about the baby back at the cabin, she _knew_ she should have, and as she turned to her backside and looked up at him, tears pooled in her eyes. She could never keep it all together when she was with him.

Almost immediately, Deacon scrambled up and rolled over to her, placing a hand on her stomach and another on the back of her head. The fear and shame that spilled across his face was more complicated than any expression Rayna had ever seen on him, and she knew instantly that he hadn't been drinking. Drunken Deacon could _never_ express that kind of raw, unabridged feeling, and his eyes probed hers so deeply that it almost took her breath away. It wasn't possible to be that intense and intoxicated at the same time.

" _Damn_ it, Rayna, I forgot." He stared in her eyes a moment more before helping her up and steadying her. He then looked down at her, s eyes ihpausing on the wet surface of her chest before moving down to her stomach. "I didn't mean to push you. Not with you being... Pregnant and all."

As crazy as this entire situation was, Rayna laughed. Deacon had every reason to hate Rayna and to say every vile thing he had ever thought about her, but here he was, a gentleman through and through. He worried about her being pregnant as if he _cared,_ when in reality it was the one thing causing him the most grief at the moment.

But the situation wasn't the least bit funny, and clearing her head, Rayna looked over at him and felt anger replace her amusement. "What the _hell_ are you doing, Deacon? Are you _trying_ to hurt yourself? Are you _trying_ to hurt me?"

"Oh, it's all about you again, isn't it?" His eyes flashed, suddenly cold. "I _knew_ something was wrong, Rayna. I knew, but you wouldn't tell me! Why didn't you tell me?"

The anger was gone, and now there was hurt – deep, conflicted hurt. Rayna recognized that look from when she had told him about Daphne, and it made her heart throb painfully. They had been through this before, and now it was happening again. All Rayna seemed to ever do was hurt him. Whether she was in his life or out of it, she always hurt Deacon. Was that just how things were? Would she ever be able to change it?

"I'm sorry." She took a step closer, gauging him. Seeing that he didn't move back, Rayna went over to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "I really am sorry. I didn't expect this, and I don't... I don't really... I'm _scared._ "

"I know." And he _did_ know. As Deacon moved his arms to hold Rayna tightly in place, Rayna knew that he understood exactly how she was feeling. He knew her better than she even knew herself, and he could imagine how complicated and emotional this pregnancy was for her, especially in light of recent events. His strong, warm arms held her there, rocking her slightly, and Rayna had no doubt in her mind that he truly cared that she was hurting.

Clinging onto him tighter, Rayna wished that he could somehow make all her problems go away. Rayna knew that sounded juvenile, but she felt so safe and so loved in his embrace. It reminded her of all the times he'd been there for her in the past, and as he squeezed harder and Rayna moved her lips to brush against his neck, she wished they could stay like that in that moment. Everything felt warm, everything felt safe - everything felt _right._

After a few moments, though, they broke apart. Rayna's back and head still tingled from where Deacon had been holding her, and looking into his eyes, she knew that he felt the same. But things were different now, and with so many people involved, Rayna knew that she had to do what she needed to do. In a way, Luke was right: Rayna had to stop running away from the truth.

"Deacon, we can't do this," she said, not quite looking at him. "It's not like how it used to be. I've got two daughters, and now..."

"Are you gonna marry him?"

It was such an unexpected question that Rayna couldn't even process it. "What?"

"Are you gonna marry him?" Deacon was staring at her intensely now, all pretenses gone, and Rayna continued to stare back, this time into his clear blue eyes. "You must have thought about it, Rayna. Are you gonna marry him now that you're pregnant?"

To be honest, no – Rayna hadn't thought about it. The day she found out about the pregnancy was also the day that Maddie's video aired on the View, so from the get-go, Rayna had been far too preoccupied to think about it. Luke had been hinting that he would like to discuss the future and Rayna had shut him down each time, but when it came down to it, _was_ she going to marry him? Was she going to marry a man who thought she was a slut and who thought his own feelings took precedence before hers and her family's?

"I don't know." That was an honest answer, and Deacon knew it. He nodded then, his neck stiff and still trickling with blood, and Rayna lowered her gaze. It wasn't easy talking about it, but it was easier with him. Everything always was, but like she had told him, things were different now.

"I have to go pick up the girls," she finally said, clearing her throat and putting her hands in her pocket. "But later, we need to talk. Agreed?"

Reaching out for her hand and kissing it, Deacon nodded. His lips felt warm and moist on her hand, but his hands were cold and his grip was weak, as if he didn't want to be doing it. Rayna watched him lift the couch back into place and then grab the whiskey bottle, which he promptly took over to the kitchen sink and poured down the drain.

"I'll call you," she said to him, making her way to the door. Out of the corner of her eye as she passed through the door, she saw him throw the bottle in the garbage can and raise his hands to his face. She heard the beginning of his sobs, and as much as she wanted to turn around and comfort him, she walked back out to her SUV, her own tears blurring her vision.


	6. Nothing's Right and Nothing's Wrong

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey, y'all! We're moving right along with the story, and at this point in the series, it merges right into Scarlet's psychotic episode. So, there's clearly some new, pregnancy-related scenes and thoughts going on, but I'm still trying to roughly follow season two and three's events.

Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o6.**

 **Nothing's Right and Nothing's Wrong (Dee Reilly)**

"You're going to have another baby?"

Daphne's eyes were wide as she stared over at Rayna, her mouth slightly ajar. Maddie was also staring at her, surprise and alarm etched across her face, but she quickly replaced the expression with casual indifference. Rayna could tell that she was still upset, though – she was picking at her thumbs, which was something she always did when she was nervous or uncomfortable.

"Yes, honey," said Rayna, moving over to sit next to Daphne on the couch. Maddie shifted away slightly, her eyes staring at the carpet, and Rayna felt her heart sink. They weren't handling this well. "I'm having another baby, but the baby is never going to replace you and your sister. It's important for you both to understand that. Y'all know that I love you more than anything in the world, right?"

Tears started to pool up in Daphne's eyes as she nodded, so Rayna leaned forward and held her to her chest, stroking her hair. She couldn't imagine how confusing all of this must be for Daphne, especially after the drama with Maddie and Deacon. And again, Rayna felt guilt rage through her since this was entirely her fault. It was harder to explain things like this when children were older; it was harder to make it seem happy when it came at the absolute worst time.

"But you don't ever see us anymore," Daphne sobbed. She sat up a little to wrap her arms around Rayna's neck, hugging her tightly. "You don't even have time for _us_ , and now you're going to spend all of it on the new baby."

Was that really what they thought? Rubbing Daphne's back and rocking her back and forth, Rayna's mind raced to her activity over the past few months. She had been busy buying her way out of Edgehill and promoting her new album, but had she been away from the girls that much? She had to share custody with Teddy and there had been all that heartache over Peggy, but was Rayna not there enough for her children? Did they really feel so depraved of her attention?

"And besides," Daphne continued, breaking free of Rayna's embrace and staring up at her mother. "If you love us so much, why are you having another baby?" Her brown eyes glistened with fresh tears. "Aren't you happy with me and Maddie? Aren't we enough for you?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"No, Luke. You don't understand." Rayna shifted the phone to her right ear as she took the cinnamon rolls out of the oven, trying not to burn her hands. "It's different for me than it is for you. I know you're close to your kids and I know you love them, but when you're the Momma, your children get attached to you. My girls don't see this as an addition to the family – they see it as competition. And I _don't_ want to make that worse by spending too much time with you."

Rayna had decided not to include Luke in the sit-down discussion with the girls. Things had gotten too heated between them, and though he showed a stroke of maturity by picking up the girls and waiting for her to get home, he had been furious that she had seen Deacon. He had apologized for everything and Rayna could definitely understand where he was coming from, but right now, Rayna needed her space from him, both for her girls' sake and her own. He'd be back on the road soon anyway, so perhaps it was for the best.

"I get that, Rayna," he said, his voice slow and calm. At least he was practicing his anger management techniques. "I never thought it was gonna be easy for y'all. But I don't really see that as a reason for us to stay apart. I mean, we're gonna have this baby together. How'dya think we're gonna do that? Don't we have to be together for that? What're we gonna do here, Rayna?"

Rayna's phone beeped, and when she glanced at it, she saw the Highway 65 emblem. She was grateful because, to be honest, she didn't have the emotional energy to deal with Luke and his concern for their future. She still didn't know how she felt, and she was getting tired of him pressing her. "Look, Luke, Bucky's on the other line. We'll finish this talk later."

"Rayna, but I –"

"I've really gotta go."

"Okay, babe." He didn't sound too happy about it, but Rayna was thankful that he wasn't going to argue too much. _For once._ "Give me a call when you can. I love you."

Rayna paused just then, for she didn't really know what to say. Their fights were too raw and too fresh, and even though she did love Luke, saying it back would make it seem like he could just behave however he wanted and not have any consequences. "Alright. Bye."

It was cold, she knew, but she just needed time to process everything. After everything that happened over the past twenty four hours, talking to Bucky about business would be a pleasant distraction. "Hey, Buck. What's goin' on?"

"Uh, I hate to keep being the bearer of bad news, but we're gonna have to get down to the airport. Scarlet had a breakdown during her set last night and Juliette is flying her in. "

"What?" Rayna stopped, her hand holding the rolls' icing.

"Apparently she had been drinking, and there was some kind of issue with her mother being there." _Beverly._ Rayna groaned, knowing perfectly well how overbearing and insensitive that woman could be. "I don't know all the details yet, but she needs a doctor, Rayna. Juliette said they'll be arriving within the hour."

"Okay, Buck." Setting the icing down and wiping her hand with a towel, Rayna sighed. She had planned to have a special breakfast with the girls before taking them out for some shopping, but that would have to wait. Per usual, someone else needed her, and apparently, everything else really _did_ take precedence over them. Rayna wished that it didn't. "I'll be right there."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When Deacon finally reached the airport, Rayna was there, staring out the window as Bucky paced the room. She turned and looked at Deacon as he entered, but he walked straight past her. His nostrils flaring slightly, he knew that he was too angry to have a cordial conversation with her.

A lot had happened between them recently, and it was almost too much for Deacon to handle. Rayna's pregnancy didn't bother him as much as her trying to hide it from him. She had taken her time telling him about Daphne, too, and it hurt Deacon that Rayna thought so low of his maturity. It also hurt him that this had all almost caused him to fall of the wagon again, but he had sworn after finding out about Maddie that he wouldn't let that happen again. He was stronger than that; he was _better_ than that. He just had to keep reminding himself of it.

"Hey," she said. Taking a deep breath, Deacon merely nodded, still looking out the window. He realized that his anger toward her was fueled this time by Scarlet having a psychotic break. He had _told_ Rayna that Scarlet wasn't ready for this, but had she listened? Did she ever listen to him? "I wasn't sure you were gonna get my message."

Did she really think he was that childish? Did she really think he wouldn't check her messages to make sure they weren't something about Maddie or something as important as this? "I got it."

"They're expecting us at the clinic within the hour," said Bucky, tapping Rayna's shoulder and nodding to Deacon. At least _someone_ was on top of things.

"Thanks, Buck." Though he wasn't facing her, Deacon could feel her steely-blue eyes burning holes on his back. "Guess it wasn't the best idea in the world for me to send her all alone on tour with Juliette."

"You think this is Juliette's fault?"

"No," she sighed, shaking her head and closing her eyes. Her tone was soft and patient, like she was talking to a child. "That's not what I'm sayin'."

"I told you she couldn't handle this." Deacon couldn't take the indirect speaking anymore. He turned to face her, feeling every ounce of pain, frustration, and grief well up in his eyes. "I told you it would crush her."

"Are you blaming me for this?" Her eyes were sad, but they were fierce as she stared back at him, her head slightly crooked to the side. Deacon couldn't look at her like that; he couldn't dare fall under her spell again. So he turned away.

"All I did was give her the opportunities that she _wanted,"_ Rayna continued. "I told her she could walk away, I –"

"It's _your_ job to call the shots, alright?" Didn't she get it? Turning back to her, Deacon stared her directly in the eye. He felt her alarm. "You're supposed to tell her what to do." Rayna was supposed to take care of people, not let every person in her life gradually fall apart. Funny how that always seemed to happen, though, especially to Deacon.

Rayna's eyes moved back and forth from Deacon to the window, but she didn't say anything. What _could_ she really say at that point? Perhaps Rayna realized that she was doing more harm than good; perhaps Rayna finally realized that she had done both Scarlet and Deacon wrong.


	7. Falling Back To You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hi everyone! Here's the next installment of the story, picking right up from the airport scene. I hope you enjoy it (especially the end), and please let me know what you think! It's starting to take a shape of its own now, and I'm so excited to be writing this. Thanks for reading!

 **Also, I know that Scarlet seems to have just met Rayna back in the pilot, but Rayna did mention that she hadn't seen Scarlet since she was small. So, for the purposes of this story, I'm going with the idea that Rayna knew Scarlet when she was young because Rayna and Deacon were dating.**

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o7.**

 **Falling Back to You (Webb Pierce)**

* * *

"I'm glad you had a safe flight." Shifting her phone to her right ear, Rayna peeled open her banana and stirred her coffee. She hadn't eaten all day since rushing off to the airport, seeing Scarlet off the plane, and now waiting to hear from the doctors at Lakeshore Crossing, and she was _starving_. "New York treating ya well?"

"It's alright," said Luke, chuckling slightly. "Time Square is nice and all, but it'd be even better if you were here with me."

It was a sweet comment, really, but Rayna just wasn't in the right frame of mind for that. She had a million things happening and, quite frankly, she was really struggling with the pregnancy hormones. She always seemed to get moodier and shorter with people during her first trimester, and that was certainly the case now as she tried to get through this conversation.

"Yeah, well, there are tons of people who need me here, you know."

"Yeah, I know." He sounded slightly disappointed, but he didn't press it. "How are things over there?"

"Crazy." Rayna realized that wasn't the most sensitive way to word it, but she didn't know how else to describe it. "Scarlet's still sedated, Beverly's on a war path, Juliette threw a hissy fit at the airport, and Deacon's been giving me the cold shoulder all damn day. I don't even know where he is now, actually. He was waiting with me but then he just got up and left, without saying a _thing_."

"He's there with you?" There was a hint of jealousy in Luke's voice, and Rayna wished she hadn't added that last part. She was annoyed at how childish Luke had been about everything, and she really didn't feel like hearing about it.

"Yeah, Luke. Scarlet's his niece, remember? He has a right to be here."

"Oh, I remember." Luke's voice was cold. "I remember him bringing her when we performed in Jackson. I remember him getting drunk and disappearing after the show, and I remember you having to take care of Scarlet and make excuses for him."

That remark stung more than it should have. Rayna hadn't been a large part of Scarlet's life back when she and Deacon were still dating because Beverly absolutely _despised_ her, but she had still been around. She and Deacon had traveled to Mississippi during the holidays, but Beverly had seldom let Rayna spend five minutes alone with Scarlet. Deacon always joked that his sister was worried Rayna was going to scoop Scarlet up and bring her on tour with them, and all this time later, Rayna realized that it actually came true.

Now that Luke mentioned it, Rayna remembered that day, and it all came flooding back to her.

 _"Where's Uncle Deacon?" Scarlet's blue eyes were wide, and tears pooled up as she stared over at Rayna. Her brow was furrowed and her shoulders were slumped, and the poor girl looked as if she were completely and utterly lost._

 _"I don't know, sweetheart," Rayna answered, taking the child's hand and scanning the back stage area. She saw Collin and Adam from the band, but she didn't see Deacon. Luke was there, too, and he waved to her._

 _"Hey," he said, coming over to join them. Rayna tried to smile, but her lips merely twitched upwards slightly before falling back down. She gave Scarlet's hand a squeeze as she continued to search for Deacon, but she still couldn't find him._

 _"Luke," she said, trying to sound casual, "have you seen Deacon? Is he somewhere with the boys?" He shook his head, his eyes flickering from Rayna to Scarlet, and Rayna bit down on her lip. She was trying very hard to stay calm for Scarlet, who was now pressed against her leg with her thumb in her mouth. She knew it wouldn't do the girl any good to see her panicked, so Rayna had to play it cool._

 _"Oh, okay," she finally said, succeeding at smiling before bending down to run a hand through Scarlet's hair. "He's probably off fixing his guitar somewhere, so we'll just go back to the room without him."_

 _"When will he be back?" Scarlet again looked up at Rayna with those baby blue eyes, and Rayna felt her heart melt. Those eyes pierced right through her, and she didn't want to lie to them. But she had to._

 _"Soon, hon." Rayna moved her hand from Scarlet's hair to her face, tickling her cheeks. "Don't you worry your pretty little mind. Let's get somethin' to eat, okay?"_

The memory hurt because, all that time ago, Rayna had been there for Scarlet and had been able to _protect_ her; she had been able to quell her fears and make her feel comfortable. When Deacon still hadn't shown up at Scarlet's bedtime, Rayna had sung her to sleep and tucked her in, and when Deacon showed up completely wasted at three in the morning, Rayna had helped her fall back asleep and explained how Deacon just wasn't feeling well. Now, Scarlet was in the hospital because of a tour _Rayna_ had put her on, but this time, she couldn't just sing her a lullaby and kiss her forehead. Everyone was older and everything was more complicated, and this time, it was _Rayna's_ fault.

"Luke, please don't do this." It was all starting to be too much. Rayna didn't need to have another fight about Deacon. She would probably end up fighting with Deaocn in person when she eventually saw him, so she didn't need to expend more emotional energy over him now. Out of the corner of her eye, Rayna saw Dr. Lao leave Scarlet's hospital room, and she saw Bevely glare in her direction. "I have to go. Talk to you later."

As soon as she hung up the phone, Bucky was there, bringing her back to reality. "We've got sound check blocked out for all the rehearsals for your album launch events, and your interview with Cumulus radio is still on for tonight. You want me to cancel it?"

"No," Rayna sighed, rubbing her eyes. "We can't cancel anything this close to the launch." She'd already gone so far and had sacrificed so much for this album. Rayna had spent far too much time apart from the girls in order to promote and launch the album and, consequently, her new label. Literally everything was riding on this, and Rayna wasn't about to let it all go down because of a few bumps on the road.

"You want me to see if I can squeeze in your publicist?" Bucky continued, glancing hesitantly up at her. "I know she prepped you for questions about Maddie and the Luke situation, but you're gonna get asked about this, too."

"I think I'll just downplay it, you know?" How could things get any worse?

"I don't know if that's gonna fly with that video that's out there..."

"Well, we won't know anything until she wakes up, we talk to Scarlet, and we talk to the doctor," Rayna thought aloud, closing her eyes and pressing her fingers against her temples. "Until then, I'm not making any decisions about what's happening."

"Ha!" Rayna's eyes snapped open to see Beverly standing in front of her, her hands on her hips and her foot tapping. "I can't believe you're actually waiting to hear what anyone else has to say about anything." Her eyes had that wild, crazy quality to them. Rayna had seen it before. _Oh_ how she had seen it before. Those eyes were able to exude the sweetest and deadliest of poisons, and for some reason, they were usually always targeted at Rayna.

"Wow," Bucky breathed, his eyes widening as he pulled away. _Poor Bucky_. Rayna realized that he always seemed to get in the middle of everything. "I'm... gonna go find some coffee."

"You have something you want to talk to me about, Beverly?" Rayna decided that she would take the high road, as always. She knew that Beverly wanted to blame Rayna for Scarlet's accident and yell about how irresponsible and insensitive Rayna was, so she might as well get to it. It wasn't like Rayna wasn't used to it.

"Oh, cut the crap." Rayna rolled her eyes. "Coming in here and trying to mother _my_ daughter when you can't even handle your _own_ family?"

What? Truly and sincerely, Rayna didn't understand. She knew that Beverly would be upset, but she didn't think that she would be _jealous._ Did she really have such low self-esteem? "I've got a good hold on my family, thank you very much." _And I'm_ _ **certainly**_ _not trying to steal yours._

"Oh," said Beverly, her voice rising with mock surprise, "I'm sorry – not just not _your_ family. Actually, Maddie's Deacon's daughter. That makes her my niece, so you've been keeping her from me." Her eyes flashed. "You've been keeping me from _my_ family."

 _Her_ family? Hadn't Beverly told Rayna time and time again that she and her daughters would _never_ be a part of the Claybourne family? When she and Deacon were dating, hadn't Beverly refused to even acknowledge their relationship and referred to Rayna simply as Deacon's _boss_? "Girl, you have got so much nerve."

"I know you've got everyone around here fooled, but I've known you twenty years and I know for a fact that you've always cared more about what the _world_ thinks of you rather than the actual people involved." Beverly's eyes twinkled again, an indication of even worse things to come, and Rayna prepared herself. "Like, for instance, marrying that trust fund guy when you were pregnant. With my _brother's_ daughter."

"Beverly." In spite of herself, Rayna advanced on her. She took a few steps forward until she was inches away from Beverly's face, glaring into those blue devil pits. She had crossed the line, and she had no right. "You don't know me."

"Oh, but I do, Rayna Jaymes." Beverly laughed just then, a short, high-pitched chuckle, and she lowered her gaze to Rayna's stomach. "The same thing's happening again, isn't it? Pregnant with Luke Wheeler's baby? Are you gonna run away from him and find another trust fund guy?"

"How dare you." In a flash, Rayna felt every vile and malicious feeling she had ever felt about Beverly O'Connor boil to the surface. She thought about how selfish and how destructive she had been when Rayna and Deacon had just started out, and Rayna thought about how she had hated her for breaking Deacon's heart time and time again. She thought about how Deacon had cried when Beverly got married and hadn't even told him, and she thought about what a wreck Deacon had been when Beverly had initially refused to let him see Scarlet since he was still on tour with Rayna.

It all came full circle as they stood there, face-to-face in the hospital. Beverly was laughing again, her smile wicked, and Rayna was actually shaking. If she wasn't careful, she would start crying soon, and she didn't want to give Beverly that satisfaction.

"Hey, what's goin' on here?" Before Rayna could open her mouth, Deacon came around the corner, holding a cup of coffee. His eyes flitted from Rayna to Beverly and then back again, and Rayna felt even more nervous as she stepped away.

"Per usual, Beverly's giving me hell and blaming me for every single thing that's ever gone wrong," Rayna said, feeling her face flush again. Deacon stopped so that he was standing right next to her. He glanced over at Beverly, whose face was also flushing, and Rayna waited. The tension in the air was unbearable.

"Per usual," Bevely countered, "Rayna refuses to admit when she's wrong and only thinks about herself."

"Per usual," Rayna snapped, fighting back her tears, "Beverly likes to attack –"

"Per usual," Beverly practically shouted, "Rayna goes and gets herself knocked up and –"

"Stop it!" The tears had finally surfaced now, and Rayna couldn't even watch as Deacon stepped between the two women and held Beverly back. It seemed as if she was ready to tackle Rayna to the ground. "Just stop it!"

"Will you give it a rest?" That was Deacon, and his eyes were hard as he guided Beverly away. "Leave her alone, Bev! She's done nothin' wrong here!"

 _Really?_ Rayna thought, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and watching as Beverly's mouth fell open. Rayna hadn't expected Deacon to defend her, and she wondered if she were imagining all this. Did he really think that? Hadn't he just blamed her for everything himself a few hours ago?

"Nothing wrong?" Beverly asked, slapping Deacon's hands away and smoothing down her shirt. "She lied about your daughter and put your niece in the psych ward, but she's done nothing wrong?"

"Stop blaming Rayna for everyone else's actions, Beverly."

"Whose decision was it to lie about Maddie, Deacon? How can that possibly be somebody else's action?"

"It was my own damn fault, alright?" Glancing sideways at Rayna, Deacon lowered his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. Rayna held her breath, waiting, and even Beverly stopped. "I don't wanna get into it now, but you've got to let it go, Bev. Whether you like it or not, Rayna's the mother of my daughter, so that means she's part of this family now, just like Maddie is." Rayna felt a sharp burst of emotion swell in her chest, mingling with the humility and anger. "Dr. Lao is looking for you, so you'd best get on over there."

"You're a fool, Deacon." Beverly's voice was low, and her eyes once again glared over at Rayna. "She's done nothing but ruin your entire life, and you can't even see it. I'm _done_ with you. I'm done with _both_ of you."

"Good riddance," Deacon mumbled as she walked away, but Rayna could tell that he was upset. He was still staring at the floor with his hands in his pockets, and he had that crease across his forehead.

"You alright?" she asked, her tone careful. She didn't want to push, but she needed to talk to him. She was struggling to keep her emotions at bay, and whether it was appropriate or not, she knew that she desperately needed to talk to him about it. She wouldn't do it if he wasn't willing, though, so Rayna waited. She hated how precarious their relationship was now.

"I'm fine," he answered, straightening up and looking at her. Their eyes met, blue on blue, and Rayna felt it. She felt that connection that always seemed to link the two of them together. "But you're not."

Like back at his house, Rayna took one look at him and fell into his arms as if nothing had changed. He held her and stroked her hair as she cried, trying desperately to hurry up and forget about Beverly. She felt the tears fall from her cheeks to his shoulder as she played with the collar of his jacket and tried to gain control of herself.

"Look," Deacon said, rubbing her back, "Beverly's goin' through a lot right now, but what she just did is unacceptable. Don't listen to a word she says, Ray. None of this is your fault, and you've got nothin' to be ashamed of."

"She's right, though," Rayna sobbed. She hugged him tighter. "I just keep getting knocked up and I rush into a marriage to make things better."

"You're rushing into a marriage?" He let go of her, but Rayna clung on. "Ray, are you gonna marry him?"

"I don't know." Her voice was a whisper, and after a moment, his hands were back on her body, one stroking her head and one wrapped around her waist. "I just don't know, but I feel like I keep falling back into the same old patterns."

"Then break them." His mouth was right by her ear, and his breath was warm against her skin. "Break the pattern, Rayna. Don't marry someone just because you think it's the proper thing to do."

She knew what he meant, and at that moment, there was nothing she could do to stop her heart from reaching out to him. It felt good to be held so gently and for him to say such kind words to her, and without thinking, Rayna lifted her head up and pressed her lips to his.


	8. Have a Little Faith In Me

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hi everyone! Here's some more of the story, this time featuring Scarlet and Rayna. I've always thought that there could be a sweet connection between them with Rayna being so maternal and Beverly having been so awful to Scarlet, and I'm disappointed that the show only touched upon that briefly.

 **Also, let it be known that I went back and revised chapter 2 to make Rayna** _ **12 WEEKS PREGNANT**_ **in the beginning. I'm trying to follow the story line while also speeding things up, so it works out better this way (and is still possible for someone to find out at that time).**

As always, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think! I don't know when my next update will be since I'm getting bogged down with final exams and final papers, but I will do my best to update as regularly as I've been!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o8.**

" **Have a Little Faith in Me" (John Hiatt)**

Her lips were soft and moist, and her tongue flicked against his lightly, just the way he liked it. Warmth spread through Deacon's body as he moved his left hand to stroke her cheek while his right curled around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He felt Rayna lean forward, linking her hands behind his neck, and he felt her chest brush softly against his, sending a strike of electricity through his body.

As quickly as it happened, though, it stopped. She pulled back suddenly, a look of pure and robust sadness nestled in her gaze. He could see the longing as well as _feel_ it as she held his hands gently, and his heart fell with hers as she shed another tear.

"I shouldn't have done that." She shook her head, her hair untucking itself from behind her ears and falling to curve around her face. "I really shouldn't have done that."

"Hey, now." He didn't really know what to say. As unexpected and pleasant as that had been, she was right. Things were too complicated right now. Rayna had to worry about the whole Luke thing, the Maddie situation, and now Scarlet... She wasn't her true self at the moment, and she was just getting confused. Deacon realized that he perhaps shouldn't have even comforted her. Did she think he was taking advantage of her? God, he hoped she didn't think that, because he really wasn't. He had only wanted to make her feel better.

After a few moments, Rayna moved away, releasing his hands. "I'm sorry. I don't know wha –"

"It's okay." Deacon smiled just then, for it really was. Maybe a hot kiss between long-time ex-lovers was supposed to be awkward, but not for them. They'd been through so much over the years, so little things like this didn't matter. Not in the slightest.

In all truthfulness, Deacon felt that the two of them would always be stuck together, be it through their long, complicated history or their beautiful, glowing daughter. It was up to them to determine how they would navigate that journey together, though, and Deacon knew that that it would take time. It wasn't going to be easy, but it didn't necessarily have to be hard.

"Thanks, Deacon." She paused, touching her hair briefly, _nervously_. "Well, I'm gonna go check back with Bucky." Their eyes met again, another powerful wave of emotion transmitting between them, and then she walked away.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey, sweet girl. How y'all doin'? Having fun?"

"Not really." Maddie always had that _tone_. Whenever something didn't go her way, she would roll her eyes and practically sneer her words, which was a far cry from the sweet, gentle girl Rayna knew she had raised. Things had been difficult for her, no doubt, but still, this _wasn't_ the way to handle it. _And nor is it the time to mention it,_ Rayna realized, sighing and clearing her head.

"Did you have a good night?" Since she had to deal with Scarlet's publicity, run sound check, and do that late night radio show, Rayna didn't make it home last night. She had stayed at the studio's bunk to nap for a few hours before getting up bright and early to visit Scarlet at the hospital. Teddy had stayed with the girls, and even though he was finally getting better after Peggy's death, he wasn't always the most pleasant person to be around. Rayna could sympathize with Maddie, but at the same time, she wished Maddie could understand that things just had to be that way

"Daphne was screaming in her sleep again and it woke me up." Maddie paused, and Rayna felt her heart twist. "She was crying, and she was calling for you."

Even though she was ten years old already, Daphne still had night terrors. Rayna had them herself when she was a child, but Daphne's episodes by far transcended anything she had ever gone through. She would scream in the middle of the night and be completely inconsolable, murmuring sobs about things Rayna couldn't even begin to understand. The doctors had told Rayna that the night terrors stemmed from her recently-developed anxiety, and with all of the recent drama happening in their lives, it was no wonder the poor girl couldn't sleep at night. And it didn't help that Rayna hadn't been home as much.

"I'm so sorry to hear that, sweetheart." Maddie had no idea how heavy Rayna's heart was. Absolutely no idea. "I wish I could have been there."

"Yeah. Me too." There was sadness flecked in Maddie's voice, but also a sense of understanding. Even though Maddie didn't always like and accept what happened in her life, she always understood it, even if spitefully.

"Well, hon," said Rayna, turning the corner of the hallway and stopping outside Scarlet's room. "I've gotta go see Scarlet now, but I'll come straight home after. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." Rayna smiled, but before she hung up, Maddie added, "Can you tell Scarlet that I hope she's feeling better? I mean, I guess she _is_ my cousin and everything, and she, uh, has been... nice to me."

Rayna felt like there was something Maddie wasn't telling her, but she didn't have time to worry about it. She thought it was sweet that Maddie cared and that she was starting to view Scarlet as family. "I will, honey. I'll see you soon."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey." Opening the door and closing it behind her, Rayna entered Scarlet's room, her eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. "Clean bill of health from the doctors, huh?"

Scarlet was a very pretty girl, but at that moment, she just looked tired – so very tired. Her face was gaunt and pale and her hair had lost some of its luster, and most prominently, she had bags under her eyes. Rayna wondered if she had been up worrying and crying most of the night, and she wondered if she had seen the video yet. Rayna certainly didn't want to be the one to show it to her, so she merely continued walking toward her before taking a seat on the side of her bed, smiling at her.

"Yeah," said Scarlet, looking down at her hands. "I already knew I wasn't a drug addict." If anyone else had said that, it might have come across as mean or vengeful, but not with Scarlet. She said it with a sort of laugh, and it was more like a half joke. It was endearing.

"So did I," said Rayna gently, trying to reassure her. She knew that it hadn't been easy on Scarlet, especially since she tried to escape the clinic in her hospital gown, but she wanted Scarlet to know that Rayna was there for her. Even if they hadn't been as close before she signed her onto her label, Rayna felt as though Scarlet was family. Because she _was_ family.

Still looking down, Scarlet continued to play with her fingers before suddenly blurting out, "When can I go back out?"

She was so anxious, so eager – so vulnerable. Rayna couldn't quite describe it, but Scarlet had a sort of precious quality about her. She could be hot and fiery, no doubt, but sitting in that bed without the blare of the lights and the rush of the guitars, she was just Scarlet. She was poised, humble, and attentive to everyone's needs except her own.

Rayna had been thinking about what she was going to say to Scarlet, and she knew that she had to word it very carefully. She didn't want to offend Scarlet, but at the same time, she didn't want to play any more with her already fragile emotions; she didn't want to keep watching her get hurt. "I think you've been spending a lot of time worrying about what's gonna make me happy." She paused just then, wishing that Scarlet would look at her. "Now's the time for you to think about what's gonna make _you_ happy."

As Rayna expected, Scarlet didn't respond at first. She continued to sit there, looking down at her lap and resuming the massaging of her hands. She seemed to be deep in thought, and they sat like that for a long while, Scarlet twisting her fingers and Rayna waiting patiently in front of her. She knew that Scarlet wasn't offended or hurt by the comment, and she knew that she just needed time to process it, much like Deacon always did.

 _Deacon._ Rayna felt herself tingle at the thought of him but pushed it away, giving all of her energy and focus to Scarlet. She didn't have time for that. She was there for Scarlet, and it was as simple as that.

"I'm gonna ask you a question that I asked you before, and I want you to answer me honestly." Scarlet finally looked up at her, blue eyes on blue. "Do you want this?"

Before she even said it, Rayna knew the answer. "No, I don't." Nodding her head, Rayna waited. Scarlet needed to say it, and she needed to get it off her chest. It was doing her no good running around and lying to herself like that, and though Rayna could see her eyes pool up with tears and could see her nails start to pick at her thumbs, she simply nodded, encouraging her to continue. "I don't know what I want, but... I don't want _this."_

 _This._ That _this_ had been what Rayna and countless other country music singers had dreamed about their entire lives. As Scarlet herself had said during their last conversation on the subject, she never wanted to be a singer. She wrote poetry and she supported her family members, but she never wanted the dream for herself. Not until Rayna invited her into a studio and asked her to audition for her new label; not until she fell flat on her face and now had to suffer from the star-studded publicity of it all.

"I feel like you've been trying to tell me that for a while." Should Rayna have picked up on the signs? She had thought Scarlet was simply nervous, like all of them had been in the beginning. Deacon had warned her, but Rayna hadn't listened because, apparently, she thought she knew best, even when she didn't.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time." Scarlet looked up at her again, her eyes trained desperately on Rayna's. Rayna knew that she felt ashamed and saddened because she had only ever wanted to impress Rayna and perform well for her, and her eagerness and dejection just melted Rayna's heart.

"Listen, you figured out something you _don't_ want to do, and that is every bit as important as figuring out what you _do_ want to do." Scarlet was clinging onto her every word, and it reminded Rayna of that time back in Jackson. Scarlet had been so innocent and so impressionable, and now a decade and a half later, she still was. She reached over and took her hand. "You've got a great future ahead of you. It's just gonna be goin' down a different road. I'm gonna release you from your contract, and I want you to be happy, Scarlet." She gave her hand a squeeze. "I want you to find whatever it is you want to do."

Their eyes met again, and Scarlet was flooded with visible relief and lightness. She let out a quiet chuckle, squeezing Rayna's hand back, and Rayna moved to put her arms around her. "I'm proud of you, Scarlet. You're very brave, and I'm proud of you for staying true to yourself."

It was a tender moment, and it awakened a strange sort of longing in Rayna. She hadn't felt this way since before she and Deacon broke up. She had felt so protective of Scarlet and she had always wanted to just hold the girl in her arms and make everything better, and in that moment, she was doing just that. There was no Beverly to yell at her, no Deacon to outshine her – it was just Rayna and Scarlet, there for each other. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, but this was a sort of softness that almost reduced Rayna to tears.

"Maddie passes along her good wishes," Rayna said when they broke apart. Scarlet laughed again, fondness etched on her face. "You two have gotten closer, huh? After seeing her at Deacon's so much lately?"

"I guess you could say that." Rayna again had the feeling that she was missing something, but she didn't want to push it.

"Well, I guess I'll let you rest up before you get discharged. I'll see you around, hon." Before she left the room, though, she looked back over at her. "Once you're home and all settled in, how about you and Deacon come have dinner with me and the girls? It would be great to have the family together."

Scarlet's face perked up, and Rayna felt a warm smile spill across her face. "I'd love that, Rayna. You bet."


	9. Don't Think I Don't Think About It

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's another (although shorter) chapter of the story. I've always loved the scenes with Rayna and her daughters, and I'm disappointed that the show didn't really have a lot of scenes with them together (I feel like such a critic!). I'm also disappointed that Daphne doesn't have as large of a role as Maddie, so I'd like to explore her character a bit more in this story as well.

And, to answer some questions regarding whether this is a **Rayna/Luke** story or a **Rayna/Deacon** story... we'll just have to wait and see, now won't we? It's blurred that way for a reason! :) (which I think reflects how Rayna would actually feel in this situation. Even without a pregnancy she was always so torn, so of course she would be now, too!)

I'm still following along with the storyline though am obviously adding my own scenes and dialogues, so here we are! Thanks so much for reading and please let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **o9.**

" **Don't Think I Don't Think About It" (Darius Rucker)**

"Oh, good _Lord."_ Panting slightly, Rayna stared down at her jeans and struggled to clasp the two ends together. Her stomach had started to protrude more over the past week, which was to be expected at now thirteen-and-a-half weeks pregnant. She hadn't really been showing when she first found out about it, but there was no doubt about it now.

"Sally's gonna have a field day with this," Rayna sighed, slipping her pants off and instead climbing into a looser-fitting skirt. Her lead costume designer had been very crafty with her first two pregnancies, and she would undoubtedly have to be as much again, especially since the entire world now knew about it.

After the Rayna handled the Scarlet situation, Luke and Rayna had both appeared on Good Morning America, though from separate digital studios since Luke was now in Afghanistan for his tour. Of course Robin had eased the atmosphere and joked about how often Rayna seemed to appear on the show, and thanks to the grace and eloquence of her media team, they had skated through it beautifully, both Luke and Rayna expressing their joy at having a baby together and their mutual support for the other's career.

But if Rayna had to be truthful about it, she _wasn't_ as happy as she let the world believe. She was the one left to pick up the pieces of this mess while Luke ran off on tour. He could just carry on with his life, elevated by the fact that he was an expecting father, whereas Rayna had to struggle through hers, plagued by the fact that she had become pregnant with three different men's children. There was no running away from it since she lived with the consequence every single _day_ in her uterus, and there was no running away from her other two children, who weren't reacting well to the news.

It wasn't really fair, to be honest, but nor were most things that had happened to Rayna lately. Like she'd always done, Rayna would get through it. She still didn't know what she was supposed to do about Luke and if she truly and sincerely wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She remembered how she had felt during her pregnancy with Maddie and she remembered how she had rushed into things, and she didn't want to do that now. She wanted to take her time and do things right, both for herself and for her children.

"Mommy, Mommy!" As Rayna stepped down from the final step on the stairs, Daphne flew into her arms, knocking Rayna slightly off-balance. "I didn't want to wake you, but I'm really hungry. Can you make pancakes?"

Daphne had taken to calling Rayna "Mommy" again, something she hadn't done in a couple of years. It was probably due to some inner insecurity of somehow losing Rayna to the new baby and wanting desperately to cling on. The thought made Rayna's heart swell, and she hugged her daughter tight and kissed her forehead. Rayna knew that this pregnancy was going to blow up the world of her daughters, and she wanted nothing more than to keep everything as normal as possible for as long as she could.

"Of course I can, sweetheart." She slung her arm around her daughter's shoulders and the pair moved into the kitchen. "You want chocolate chip or blueberry?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Maddie had decided to have a morning guitar lesson with Deacon, so it was just Rayna and Daphne, which was a rare occurrence. Rayna was still getting used to the idea of sharing Maddie with both Teddy _and_ Deacon, and it was a bit complicated to maintain. Teddy had luckily spent almost an entire two full days with the girls, so he didn't mind sharing Maddie that morning. Deacon, of course, was always casual about when he did or didn't see Maddie, which was a relief. How would Luke be, Rayna wondered, if they had to share custody of their child? And how would she possibly balance _three_ people and their schedules if it came down to that?

"Looks like it's just you and me, pumpkin'," Rayna sang, placing their empty plates in the dishwasher and wiping the counter down with a towel. "What d'ya wanna do today? Movies? Mall? Pedicures? Cuddle time?" Daphne didn't reply, and when Rayna looked over at her, she saw her gazing up mournfully at her.

"I really wish you weren't having another baby, Mommy." Her voice cracked a bit. "I know I'm supposed to love the new baby like I love Maddie, but it's different. The baby is _not_ Maddie and it doesn't have the same dad as us."

This conversation had been a long time coming, and whether Rayna was ready or not, now was the time to deal with it. She wasn't an expert on all things psychology, but she _was_ an expert on all things Daphne. She knew that her daughter needed her now more than ever, and she knew that she needed to be there for her one hundred percent.

"Come here, sweet girl." Daphne jumped up from her chair and ran into Rayna's arms. Kissing her rosy cheeks, Rayna lifted her up and set her down on the counter, holding her hands. "I know this is hard for you, and I want you to be able to talk to me about it."

"I am talking to you about it."

"Yes, I know. And that's wonderful. So what's goin' on? What are thinking about? Tell your Momma all about it."

There were tears and sobs all around, but they had finally done it; they had finally delved into Daphne's deepest fears. It would take more time for her to get used to the idea of having a new baby around and of no longer being the youngest, but it could be done. Rayna was going to enlist the help of a specialist, but for now, she was simply going to love her little girl's fears away. It was all she really could do at the moment.

"Let's go up to my room and watch a movie," Rayna suggested, chuckling as Daphne's face lit up and as she leaned forward to peck her mother's lips.

Her phone rang just then, and though a part of her warned her not to look at it, she did. _Bucky._ It _had_ to be important. Wasn't it always?

"It's Bucky," said Rayna, peeking over her phone to pout at Daphne, who rolled her eyes. She was smiling, though, and Rayna told herself that she wouldn't let yet another business concern ruin her special day with her little girl. Daphne deserved more than that, and so did Rayna, to be honest. "Go set the movie up and I'll be right there."

Daphne hopped down from the counter and raced up the stairs as Rayna slid the bar to the right. "Hey, Buck. Can you make this quick? I'm spending the day with Daphne."

"Rayna, I'm so sorry to bother you, but Luke had a serious accident." Rayna blinked very slowly, feeling her heart start to race. Did he just say that Luke had a serious accident? He _couldn't_ have just said that. She had talked to Luke just last night! "His convoy flipped over and he's being sent back to New York for treatment now. No one knows any details, but it's supposed to be serious. Two people on his crew died on the scene."

There was no time to think; there was not time to do anything. Rayna's heart exploded and she felt her nerves tingle from the adrenaline. It was fight or flight, and she had to _fight._ "Book me two round-trip tickets for today and send me the receipt. The sooner the better, and preferably back by sometime tonight."

"Hey," said Daphne, whisking down the stairs, "Can we watch a –"

"Daphne, go up to your room and grab a change of clothes and your toothbrush."

"What?"

"Just do it, please," said Rayna, grabbing her wallet and phone before following Daphne up the stairs. "We're going to New York."


	10. My Wish

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's another chapter. Thanks so much for keeping up with the story. We're nearing the end of season two's plot now, but of course some scenes are being added in there (and amended).

Please let me know what you think! I have the next couple chapters roughly outlined, but I totally gauge everyone's reactions and comments and take them into consideration as I write. So, if you don't like the way things are going, please share your thoughts on it! If you would like to see a certain kind of scene, please say so! Fan fics (like TV shows, it seems) are always works-in-progress :) Thanks again for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **10.**

 **My Wish (Rascal Flatts)**

"Would you like a snack, dear?" asked the flight attendant, smiling kindly at Daphne. "I have peanuts, cookies, or potato chips."

"I don't want anything," Daphne mumbled, turning around to rest her head on Rayna's shoulder. "I don't wanna go to New York and I don't wanna see Luke. I just want to go _home._ "

"I'm sorry," Rayna signed, gently squeezing Daphne's arm and raising her eyebrows at her. She was starting to become just like Maddie with that _tone_. It was such an ugly tone, and Rayna did _not_ want two Maddies mouthing off wherever they went. She made a note to nip this behavior before it got out of control. "We'll take a package of cookies, thank you. Maybe she'll change her mind."

It was hard, Rayna realized, taking the cookies and shifting her arm so that she could hold Daphne closer. It was hard being a mother and a country star _and_ someone's girlfriend. Rayna's heart had ached when she heard that Luke had been in a serious accident, and she felt herself continuously worry and fret over how he was doing and what had happened to him. Rayna realized from this ordeal that she did have strong feelings for Luke, but as she held her daughter close against her slightly-bulging stomach, she also realized how trying this was for her family. For _everyone._ There was just so much going on at once.

"You really shouldn't be rude to people like that," said Rayna softly, her fingers playing with the strands of Daphne's golden-brown hair. "She was just being nice to you."

"I know," said Daphne, frowning slightly. "But I'm just tired. And... Sad."

Rayna knew that she was sad and disappointed that things had turned out this way. It was yet another special day with Mom canceled and replaced with someone else, though this time Rayna couldn't bear leaving Daphne out of her sight. Hugging Daphne closer, Rayna murmured, "I know you are, honey" before bending down to kiss her dropping eyelids. As much as Daphne needed her mother during all of this, Rayna realized that she needed her, too. And Maddie.

"Hey, you can't be tired," Rayna teased, continuing to kiss her daughter's eyelids until Daphne had to sit up and escape Rayna's reach, giggling. "You just woke up a few hours ago!"

"But I don't know what else to do, Mom." That _tone_ was back, but Rayna could feel it ebb as she tickled Daphne's cheeks, procuring a small smile. "And I _hate_ airplanes. They make me feel... _Seasick._ "

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey, you're really startin' to get the hang of that." Maddie again played the complicated sequence of G sharp, F minor, and a sliding chord ensemble, and it was even better than her last attempt. "What are you, a Claybourne or something?"

"Must be," Maddie laughed, putting her guitar down and picking up her glass of orange juice. "Mom certainly can't play the guitar."

"Yeah, we always joked that she's just instrumentally-impaired. You ever hear the story of how she tried to play bells for one of our shows and ended up dropping them all mid-song?"

It was so fun to talk to Maddie like this. It was so _easy,_ so _natural._ Deacon had known Maddie for her entire life, and even though they now had to develop a new kind of relationship, they still had that tight bond that had held them together when she was growing up. It was still there, but it was just solidified now with blood.

Just as Maddie reached back for her guitar to play the start of their song again, her phone beeped. She looked at it, her brows furrowed, and then she looked over at Deacon. "Mom just texted me. Luke got injured in Afghanistan, and she and Daphne are on their way to the airport right now..."

"What?" said Deacon, sitting bolt upright. "She's goin' all the way to Afghanistan?" He didn't know why, but the thought of Rayna traveling halfway across the world for Luke made his blood start to boil. That bastard didn't _deserve_ that kind of loyalty from Rayna, not after everything he put her through. Hell, Deacon himself didn't deserve half the things Rayna had done for him, so he definitely knew that _Luke_ didn't, especially since they hadn't even been dating for that long. Why the _hell_ would she go there for him?

"No, they're meeting him up at New York," Maddie continued, her fingers scrolling through more text messages as they buzzed in. "She wants me to ask you if I could stay with you tonight since they might not be back until later. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is, sweetie." It was no problem, and Deacon felt himself relax a little. New York wasn't that far of a distance. Rayna had once taken a plane from Maine to meet him over in California, which was thrice the distance. _Not that it all really mattered,_ Deacon thought, shaking his head.

"I wonder why she brought Daphne," Maddie mused, moving to tuck her legs under her on the brown couch. "I know she's been having nightmares and stuff lately."

"Really?" Deacon didn't know that. He really didn't know much about Daphne, to be honest, which made him feel guilty. Daphne was _Teddy's_ daughter, so he didn't want to cross that boundary. But still, she was Maddie's sister, too, so wasn't he entitled to know more about her?

"Yeah. I guess she has anxiety or something, so Mom's been giving her extra attention to try and make her feel better. But if you ask me, it's just making her spoiled, especially since there's going to be a new baby in the family soon."

Her eyes glistened after she said that, and Deacon felt awkwardness burn on his face. He could tell she was upset and he knew that he was supposed to do something about it, but he didn't really know what to do. He felt frustrated because, in all reality, he was a brand new father, even though Maddie was fourteen years old already. He didn't have much practice, but she needed him to be there for her. Frankly, Deacon had to just dive in and pray that he was doing it right, which was daunting.

"How are you doin' with all of that?" he tried, careful to gauge Maddie's reaction. He didn't want to push. "I mean, with Luke and the baby and all."

"Fine." She didn't look at him, though, and her fingernails started to pick at her thumbs. Rayna did that, too, and Deacon recognized it as a nervous habit.

"You know, Maddie, we can talk about that kinda stuff if you want." Putting his own guitar down, Deacon moved over to the couch and sat down next to her, watching her face. She didn't move away, so he took that as a good sign. "I'm your dad, and I care about your feelings and everything."

"Even if... Even if it's about my mom and Luke?"

"Yeah." Deacon smiled, hoping it came across better than it felt. "Of course."

"Even if it's about... Stuff that might make you feel uncomfortable?" She seemed to really care about his feelings, and that made Deacon feel warm inside. He knew that, as a parent, he would have to fret and worry about his daughter, but it didn't occur to him that his daughter was allowed to fret and worry about him, too. It was a sweet kind of tenderness that Deacon had never really felt before.

"Maddie, I just want youto be happy." Maddie looked up at him, her expression still unsure, and Deacon reached over to take her hand. He pushed away any unpleasant thoughts revolving around Luke and Rayna and focused solely on Maddie. She _needed_ this. "And when you're not happy, I wanna help make you happy again. So let's air it all out and talk about what's goin' on, okay?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Rayna, what are you doin' here?" When Rayna rushed into the hospital room, Daphne following in her wake, she felt her breath catch in her throat. There was Luke, sprawled awkwardly on his side getting bandaged by a nurse. His skin was reddened, cut, and bruised, and just looking at him, Rayna could tell how tired and sore he was. She felt instant regret at every mean and snippy comment she had made to him over the past few weeks. What if they had been her last words to him?

"Are you okay?" She felt panic rise in her voice but tried to quell it as she went over to the side of the bed, slipping her hand into his. "They said you hit an IED..."

"No, no. The first vehicle in the convoy did. I was in the second when... we swerved to avoid it. We were all..." His voice trailed off as he looked up at her, his gaze intense. Rayna could see that he was fighting back tears. "Two people died."

"Oh my God," Rayna replied, shaking her head and giving his hand a squeeze. It was all so heavy and so _raw. And that could have been Luke. He could have died._

She heard a small intake of breath behind her, and she turned to see Daphne staring at them with wide eyes. _Damn it._ Rayna had forgotten all about her during the fuss. What kind of mother did that? How could she possibly be so insensitive and not bother to think that Daphne might have a hard time hearing about people dying and getting into accidents?

"Hey there, little lady," Luke said, his gaze warm as he looked over at Daphne. "Thanks for comin' with your Momma to see me. Wanna hop up here for a second?"

Daphne returned his smile as she went beside Rayna and climbed up on the edge of the bed, Luke helping her up and giving her shoulder a pat. The two of them had always had a good relationship, and Rayna realized that it was only Maddie who had the problem. Poor Daphne adjusted to each person in Rayna's life and didn't really didn't complain too much. She had a big, open heart, and Luke did, too. _When he felt like it._

"Are you sure you're okay?" Daphne bit down on her lip as she took in the sorry state of Luke's face, but it perked up again as Luke laughed and ruffled her hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, glancing over at Rayna and smiling again. He looked so happy and so comfortable with the two of them there. "I just got a couple of bruised ribs, a few cuts, and a pretty good bump on the noggin'." His smile faded a little just then. "I was lucky. Worse things can happen, Daphne, and we've just gotta be thankful that they didn't happen to me."

"You're not goin' back there," Rayna insisted. It was too dangerous. It really was dangerous to be doing any kind of publicity-stunted thing during such a sensitive time, and Rayna couldn't handle him being back there. Not after this and not with the baby coming. Though she had tried to downplay that part of the equation, Rayna realized that she really _did_ need Luke to be there for their baby. _Or at least some kind of father figure,_ she thought darkly, remembering how she had felt when she was pregnant with Maddie and hurried to marry Teddy. But she wasn't thinking about marriage right now; this wasn't the same thing.

"Yeah, well, I am goin' back. I just don't know when right now." He looked away from the two of them, visibly frustrated and flustered. Daphne kept looking at him, her eyes round with worry, content, and a strange sort of awe, and Luke eventually looked back over at them. "I gotta be honest with y'all. This shook me up pretty good, in ways I wouldn't expect."

"Yeah, I bet," said Rayna, thinking briefly about how _she_ would feel in that situation. She would think of the girls, she would think of Teddy, she would think of Deacon... But would she think of Luke? Where did he fit in?

"But you know what?" said Luke, a boyish grin on his face. "Right now, I just want me some sugar."

Chuckling slightly, Rayna leaned over to kiss him, breaking quickly and moving to hug him instead. She was painfully aware of Daphne still sitting there on the bed, and she felt extremely awkward and guilty as Luke rubbed her back and buried his face in the crook of her neck. She had been trying not to show too much affection in front of Daphne, but it was hard with Luke looking so battered and with her heart just wanting to reach out and hold him. She really did care about him, despite how complicated everything had become.

"I love you," he breathed, kissing her ear. He reached out for Daphne's hand, too, and she took it, although hesitantly. "I love you _and_ your kids, along with our baby." Rayna felt it coming, but she didn't know how to handle it. Her stomach knotted up. "This is all I want, Rayna. _You_ and _our family_ is all I want."


	11. She Ain't Right

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's the next installment, taking us right to the season 2 finale (with an added scene, of course). Thanks so much for reading! Please let me know what you think of the story! I wonder what Rayna's gonna do here? ;)

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **11.**

" **She Ain't Right" (Lee Brice)**

It had come later than originally anticipated, but Rayna finally had Deacon and Scarlet over for that family dinner she had suggested. Things had been hectic over the past month. Rayna's album was getting ready to launch, she was out at events to promote it, she was meeting with prospective artists, she was trying to spend some quality time with the girls – it definitely added up, but Rayna was doing her best to strike a balance.

 _And_ , to top it all off, her bump had become more pronounced and she could now barely fit into any of her performance clothes, which meant that Sally had to re-fit her and buy her new, "looser" dresses. Just in time for all the interviews and television specials, too. Contrary to what Rayna had once said, she really _did_ hate this in addition to sunburns and hangovers.

"That's them!" Daphne squealed, peaking out the window as the doorbell rang. Rayna was still looking at herself in the mirror of her studio, wondering if there was any possible way to hide her bump with her loose-fitting flannel. "Can I go greet them, Mom? Please?"

Daphne had reclaimed her ten year-old social phobia and had again outgrown calling Rayna "Mommy." Though it's what Rayna had wanted since it was more normal and less regressive, it still made her slightly sad. She liked being called "Mommy." What kind of mother _didn't? At least I'll have the new baby to call me Mommy._

That afterthought made Rayna feel guilty. If she had to be honest with herself, Rayna was actually getting _excited_ about having the baby. In the beginning, Rayna had originally feared that she would be publically slut-shamed, but after she and Luke had made their statement and had made positive public appearances together, the pregnancy was actually shaping up to be a career boost for Rayna. Apparently the country music world admired middle-aged women sticking by their men, careers, _and_ unborn babies, so her overall appeal as an artist and a public figure only went up. The baby wasn't interrupting her in the public sector, so shouldn't she be able to fully enjoy it in the private sector? Didn't she deserve that much?

"Hey there, munchkin'." Rayna heard Maddie laugh and Daphie shout as Deacon entered the room. There was some shuffling of footsteps, so Rayna could only imagine that Deacon had picked Daphne up or at least tried to ruffle her feathers. When she went out to the living room, pulling self-consciously at her shirt, she indeed found Deacon in mid bear hug.

"Hey, Ray," he said, kissing Daphne's head before setting her down. Daphne absolutely beamed as she shook her head and looked up at him, and her pure joy made Rayna happy, too.

"Hey, y'all," Rayna responded, smiling both at him and at Scarlet, who was wearing a lovely pink dress. "Thanks so much for comin'. I've got artichoke dip heating in the oven. How about we get out the chips?"

It was a lovely meal, Rayna thought (she'd made everyone's favorite – upside-down turkey casserole with fresh green beans, sugar-coated pears, and fresh French bread), and when Maddie and Daphne cleared the table while Rayna pulled out the cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, everything was going great.

"Well, what's all this?" Until Luke walked in, of course. Just as Rayna set down the pie in the middle of the table, she looked up to see Luke standing by the door, his hands in his pockets and his mouth frowning.

"Luke, what are you doin' here?" That hadn't exactly spent that much time together since he was released from the hospital in New York. Rayna had been busy with her album, Highway 65, and her girls, and it hadn't really occurred to her that he might get jealous over something like this. To her, it was just dinner with the family, but she realized at that moment how off-putting it could appear to him.

"Is it not alright for me to just drop by? Though you can in New York?" _Oh God._ He was playing _that_ angle. Deacon laughed just then, that smug, boyish look plastered across his face, and Scarlet sank in her seat a little bit, clearly uncomfortable.

"Go on ahead, y'all," said Rayna, handing the knife to Scarlet and setting down her towel. "Luke and I are just gonna go talk for a second."

"Luke," she said quietly once they were over in her studio, "I don't understand what you're –"

"You're having a family dinner with him, Rayna. With _your_ family and _his_ family. That hurts, to be honest."

"But, Luke," Rayna insisted, not understating, "Deacon _is_ family. He's always been family. He's been Uncle Deacon or, now to Maddie, her dad. He's just –"

"What about _me,_ Rayna?" When Rayna looked at him, he saw the hurt clearly nestled in the pit of his blue eyes. He wasn't angry, jealous, or possessive – he was _hurt._ "Do you know how this feels, watching y'all get together as a family when it's clear you don't want anything to do with mine?"

"That's not true, Luke," said Rayna, but she knew her inflection wasn't convincing. "I went over to the ranch last week to meet Colt and Sage. We played Monopoly together."

"It's not the same and you _know_ it. I would really appreciate it if you stopped pretending, Rayna. I would really appreciate it if you just came out and said that you don't wanna take our relationship seriously."

"That's not true, Luke," Rayna repeated, but this time, there was no doubt that she meant it. She _did_ want to take their relationship seriously, she really wanted to, but she just _couldn't._ Not at that was happening so fast and the entire ordeal was bringing back painful memories, and it was just too much for her.

"Look," Rayna said, closing her eyes and shaking off her feelings, "This isn't the time to discuss this, babe. I've got company right now and I'm being terribly rude, so will you please just put on a smile and join us for some cherry pie?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Knock, knock."

"Hey," said Rayna, smiling as Luke walked in. She was in her dressing room getting ready for her show at LP Field, and she was right in the midst of that nervous excitement that always rushed over her before a show. She was excited to see Luke since she hadn't seen him since he crashed that dinner. They had talked on the phone since then and had made up, of course, but looking at him now, she could see first-hand that there weren't any lingering hard feelings between them. He was gawking at her like a teenager, and her makeup team quickly left the room, smirking.

"You are a vision," he finally said, continuing to gaze appreciatively at her before moving closer. He pulled out a red rose and set it down on her vanity, much to her delight. She _loved_ roses.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said, for, truly, he looked good in his tucked-in flannel that showed just the right amount of muscle of his biceps.

"I know – lips," he said, putting his arms around her waist and moving to assault her neck. He touched her most sensitive spot, and she shuddered. "I won't mess you up."

"Oh, I hope you mess me up later." She was feeling particularly horny at the moment, probably from the pregnancy. The past few nights had been particularly awful, and as he held her there like that, Rayna spread her legs slightly and leaned toward him. She heard him laugh against her skin.

"Oh, I got nothin' but surprises in store for you," he teased, his eyes twinkling. He was such a flirt, she knew. He leaned forward slightly so that his knee brushed against her inner thigh.

"Ooh," Rayna cooed. She felt her thigh throb slightly at his touch. She wanted it _now._

"Oh, girl, I am so proud of you." His voice was soft and tender now as he took her hands in his. "You are the most amazing, most beautiful –"

There was knocking at the door as Bucky stuck his head in the room. "Sorry, guys. Time to suit up, Ray."

"Thank you," Rayna drawled, her lip pouting as she turned back to Luke. _She wanted him so bad._ She wanted to just close the door and throw herself on him.

"I will finish this later," he said.

"You promise?" She took his hands in hers and kissed them, letting her lips linger around his knuckles, sucking gently. She sensed his body jolt.

"You still wanna close with "Ball and Chain"?"

"You bet."

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna go put on my rig and, uh, powder my nose." He finally released her and stepped away, and Rayna looked down at his jeans to see a small bulge.

"As long as you let _me_ rig _you_ later, babe," Rayna called out to him, her face flushing slightly as Bucky awkwardly waited at the door for Luke to leave.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hold on a sec, hold on a sec!" Luke shouted, waving his arms to silence the crowd. They had just finished a fantastic rendition of "Ball and Chain," and, still trying to catch her breath, Rayna looked over at him, smiling. He was so handsome, and she really just wanted to get him off that stage and tear his clothes off. Oh, those goddamn _hormones._

"How about Ms. Rayna Jaymes!" The field erupted into cheers; it looked like every single person in the audience was up on their feet, shouting and screaming. "She's somethin' else, isn't she?"

"Thank y'all," she said, waving and smiling out to the crowd. How sweet of him, Rayna thought, to give her publicity like that. This was her show to promote her album and, consequently, her label, and he was so supportive. He _knew_ how much she needed the recognition at a time like this. Absolutely beaming, Luke came over to her and embraced her, letting his hands linger on the bulge of her stomach. The crowd completely lost it.

"Well she's somethin' real special to me and I'll tell ya, sharin' this stage with her makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world." The wild cheers continued, if not heightened. He really knew how to get that crowd going. Perhaps Rayna had been shallow when she thought that he put his career before hers. Even though he had his own album coming out soon, he was standing there promoting hers and giving the world the good old Luke Wheeler band of approval. He _definitely_ deserved a reward for that performance.

"And I don't mind telling y'all since we're _allllll_ such good friends here," he carried on, his voice booming throughout the field. Rayna smiled, looking from him to the crowd. Where was he going with this? Hadn't he hyped the crowd enough? She didn't know if she had another song in her after the show she just put on. She continued to smile at him, though, hoping he'd read her face and give it a rest. "I truly, truly love her," he then added, pointing at her with each "truly." The crowd went nuts.

"What are you doin'?" she asked him, her smile still plastered on her face while still wishing he'd wrap it up already. It was cute, though, she had to admit, but it was getting to be a bit too much. And she needed to _leave,_ with _him._

"I really love you, Rayna." He smiled again, his eyes pouring into hers. "And our baby."

"I love you too, Luke," she said into the mic, laughing and smiling wide and feeling the energy come alive in the stadium around her. She didn't quite know where this was going, but the reception was worth it – the crowd could absolutely not get enough of it, and Rayna knew that could only help her album sales that night at midnight, which was what mattered the most, really.

"And I was hopin'," he continued, his gaze shifting from her to the crowd, which was cheering and shouting for him to go on. "And I was hopin'," he repeated, shaking his head slightly, causing the crowd to die down, "that you would do me the great honor –" He took off his hat, and several girls in the audience screamed.

Rayna looked from the hat in his hand to his face, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He then went down on his knee, and a bellowing buzz exploded throughout the field. "—and allow me," he continued, holding up a sparkling diamond ring, "to be your ball and chain."


	12. Real Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's the next chapter, the "Season 2 Finale" of sorts. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **12.**

" **Real Life" (Rayna Jaymes, Maddie & Daphne Conrad)**

Her hand over her mouth, Rayna merely stared at him. The crowd was screaming with everyone up on their feet, waving their glow sticks as if to encourage her, but Rayna just stood there.

She knew this had been coming. He'd been giving her enough hints on his undying love for her, and she supposed her horniness back in the dressing room hadn't helped much. She knew it had been coming, but it still didn't make it any easier when it actually _happened._

"Say yes, Rayna!" someone screamed from the crowd. "Marry Luke!" yelled another. "Be a family with your baby!"

"Babe," said Luke, still smiling up at her, "I've got a trick knee and I can't stay down here forever. Is that a yes?"

 _Forever._ That's what marriage meant – forever. It certainly hadn't been forever with Teddy, and it hadn't been with Deacon, even though she had wanted it to be. _Could_ anything last forever? Was it even truly and sincerely possible?

"If it's a no, I'll wrap my head around that, too," said Luke quickly, _nervously._ His smile was starting to fall and his eyes searched hers rapidly. "I mean I know it's crazy and I know ya got a lot goin' on right now, but I love you, babe. I love you, and we're gonna have a baby together."

"Luke," Rayna whispered, feeling everything inside of her start to break. Her palms were sweating and she almost dropped the microphone in her hands. "I can't do this right now. I can't, I can't even..." She felt faint, if she were to be honest, and her voice trailed off, for she was trying very hard not to fall right there on the stage.

His face fell, and it broke her heart. It really did. She didn't want to make him feel bad, though, so she took his hand and pulled him up, gazing out at the crowd. She recovered from the emotional blow and perked back up, because as they said in show business, the show must go on. And that's what it was at the moment: a show.

"Isn't he just the sweetest little thing?" she exclaimed, elicting shouts and screams from the crowd. "How nice, throwin' that out there and puttin' me right on the spot. As much as I would love to share this moment with y'all, I think we should wait until after my album launches... which is _tonight,_ y'all, at _midnight."_

There were cries of outrage, but Luke waved his hands again, smiling. "Hey, now! Y'all, she's right! This was by far the most romantic of country music proposals, if I may say so myself," he said, winking out at the crowd, which exploded again, "and I think it's great that y'all get to experience a part two of this proposal. Stay tuned, and God bless!"

It was as dismissive as anything, and taking Luke's hand, Rayna waved out to the crowd one last time and blew them kisses as she and Luke exited the stage, glued together. As soon as they were out of the spotlight, though, Luke tore his hand from hers and rounded on her, his eyes glistening.

"What the hell was that, Rayna?"

"That's what I should be asking you," Rayna countered, keeping her voice low as she ushered him along back to one of the empty dressing rooms. She heard Maddie call out her name and saw Teddy out of the corner of her eye, but she grabbed Luke's hand and weaved through the stage, checking behind her to make sure no one was following.

"I don't get it, Rayna." She closed the door and turned the lock before looking over at him, her mic still in her ear. "Is that a no, then? Did I just embarrass myself in front of seventy thousand people?"

"This isn't about you, alright?" She couldn't help it – she snapped at him. All thoughts of sleeping with him left her head. "There's so much involved here! You _know_ how hard this has been on my children."

"Yeah, but what about _you,_ Rayna? Don't you want this? And what about our baby? What about _him?"_

 _"Him?_ We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet!"

"That's not the point! God _damn_ it, Rayna!" Luke paced around the dressing room with his hands chained above his head, breathing deep. Rayna, still pressed against the door, closed her eyes just then, realizing that she had to address this problem head-on.

"Look," she said, opening her eyes to stare at him, "I don't know what to do right now, okay? Things have been an emotional roller coaster for me ever since I came out of that coma. I woke up not knowing if I'd even be able to _sing_ again, and now I woke up to have another baby and have another eighteen years of child-rearing in front of me."

"It's not just you, though." Luke tried to stay calm, but Rayna could sense the anger in his voice. "You don't have to do this alone, Rayna. _I'm_ here, and I want to help you raise him."

 _It could be a her!_ Rayna wanted to shout, but she didn't. Taking some calming breaths of her own, she nodded. "I know you want to."

"So why won't you _let_ me?" He came over to her now, his face very close to hers, but Rayna couldn't quite look at him. "What's holding you back? What's goin' on?"

"Rayna?" There was a sharp rap at the door as the voice sounded – _his_ voice.

"Unbelievable," Luke muttered, resuming his pacing of the room. "Un fucking believable. _That's_ why, isn't it Rayna?" He was glaring at her, blue eyes locked on blue. "Tell me the truth."

"I don't know." The door continued to pound, and Rayna felt the vibrations against her back. Tears were falling now as she looked at Luke and then looked down at her stomach. "The truth is that I don't know. How many times do I have to say that?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When the door finally opened, it was Luke, his ugly face inches away from Deacon's. "Get the _hell_ outta here, Deacon. You can't be here."

He couldn't be there? Like hell he couldn't be there. "You ain't her bodyguard, asshole. I'll do as I please as long as it's alright by her. Rayna?"

Pushing past Luke, who surprisingly didn't put up a fight, Deacon saw her crumpled up on one of the armchairs, her makeup running and her hair out of place. Eying Luke agressively, Deacon moved over to her and then knelt down beside her, taking her hand. "I'm sorry, Ray. I'm so sorry."

That was what she needed to hear at the moment because, truly, that had been too much for her. Deacon knew that it was by the way she had nervously laughed into the microphone, and he knew it by the way her legs swayed, trying to hold her weight when her body just wanted to buckle beneath her. Letting out one single cry, Rayna threw her hands around his neck and let him hold her, Luke standing nearby furiously.

"This is just perfect, y'all," he was shouting, moving up and down the sides of the small room. "Seventy thousand people out there just watched me get rejected, and now the entire _world_ is gonna see that on YouTube and people are gonna talk. Y'all _know_ how they're gonna talk!"

"Do you _ever_ stop and thinking about anybody but yourself?" Luke laughed coldly at the comment, his eyes glued to Rayna, who was still clinging onto Deacon, and Deacon cleared his throat. "I think you've done enough damage here, Wheeler. I'm sure they can sneak you out the back way, so just do everyone a favor and _leave."_

"You can _not_ kick me out," Luke raged, coming closer and curling his fist. "You do _not_ tell me what to do, Deacon! Rayna is _my_ girlfriend and the mother of _my_ child!"

"She's the mother of my child too, you dumbass!"

"Stop it!" Pulling away from Deacon, Rayna sat up in her chair and held her arms up, her head shaking. "Just stop it! Y'all are only making this worse, and we need to figure out how to handle this. Deacon, where are my girls? I need to see my girls."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"But I love Luke!" They were in the car now, Tandy driving with Rayna wedged in the backseat between Daphne and Maddie. Daphne's arms were crossed. "Why can't you marry him? He's just like family to us!"

"So is Deacon!" Maddie insisted, her eyes wide and trained on Rayna. "He's been part of our family forever and Mom's obviously still in love with him! Aren't you, Mom?"

"Okay, girls, enough." Pulling her arms out from behind their backs, Rayna put them over her eyes and rubbed. She knew that people weren't supposed to do that, but it felt good and gave her some temporary relief. Her head was spinning and she was nauseous again, though she didn't know if it was from the pregnancy or the stress.

"Y'all need to calm down back there," Tandy scolded, eyeing them from the rear view mirror. "What we're gonna do now is get everyone home, showered, and put straight to bed, including you, Rayna."

That was one of the things that Rayna loved most about Tandy: she never stopped being Rayna's big sister. She hadn't been at the field tonight and she had to rush over, but she did it, and she would always be there for Rayna when she needed her. Tandy was one person that Rayna could always count on.

Once home, Tandy had been serious about everyone being sent to bed.

"I wasn't kidding," she said, pushing the pillows off Rayna's bed and pulling back the covers. "However, I didn't say that we couldn't _talk_ in bed."

Just like they were in elementary school again, Tandy and Rayna crawled into bed together and lay side-by-side, their arms brushing against the other's as they stared up at the ceiling. They kept the silence for a while, Rayna trying hard not to cry and Tandy probably waiting for her to cry anyway, and eventually, Rayna couldn't hold it back anymore.

"I'm just so confused," she sobbed, turning to Tandy and resting her head on her shoulder. Tandy wrapped an arm around her and stroked her hair with her other hand, making sympathetic noises. "I love Luke, I really do, but I don't know that I want to _marry_ him, Tandy."

"It seems like you've been thinking about this a lot, huh?"

"Every single day."

"And do you want to do? What does your _heart_ want to do, Rayna?"

Rayna took her time before she answered, digging deep into every corner of her heart. "I don't _want_ to marry him, but a part of me feels like I _have_ to. And another part knows that it would be a disaster just like last time."


	13. Pickin' Up the Pieces

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hi everyone! Here's the next part of this story. It's going to be hard to align it exactly with the show since things are turning out differently in my story, but I'm going to try and incorporate as many different scenes as I can throughout the next few chapters. They may be tweaked to fit the new situation, but I do plan to include them. Thanks so much for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **13.**

" **Pickin' Up the Pieces" (Poco)**

"Well, would'ja look at that." Storming into Rayna's room, Tandy threw a newspaper down on the bed, smacking Rayna's thighs in the process.

Glancing at the alarm clock through one partially-opened eye, Rayna saw that it was 7:47. "Tandy," she groaned, rolling back over to her stomach and burying her head under the pillow. She had _just_ fallen back asleep after waking up throughout the night, puking once and crying the rest. She didn't need her big sister stomping around that early in the morning. "I don't wanna look at anything right now."

"Sorry, honey, but you have to." Rayna sighed as she felt Tandy whip the covers off her, and a sudden bout of anger rushed over her. Ever since their mother died, Tandy had taken it upon herself to boss Rayna around. When they were in school, Tandy would hover over Rayna's shoulder as she did her homework, nag about how Rayna made unhealthy snack choices, tell Daddy when Rayna snuck out to go play at the local taverns – she had acted as if she were _responsible_ for Rayna, and she did the same now, even though Rayna was perfectly able to take care of herself. _Well, most of the time._

"This better be good," Rayna grumbled, forcing herself up and picking up the paper.

It wasn't.

" _'Queen of Country Jilts her Rightful King?'_ What the _hell_ is that?"

"Public image, Rayna," Tandy hissed through gritted teeth. "Public image."

"People aren't taking his side over this?" Tandy raised her eyebrows, and Rayna threw the paper open to page 12C, not believing what she was reading. "This is ridiculous! They don't even _understand_!"

No one understood. Rayna herself didn't even fully understand it all. She loved Luke and she was five months pregnant with his baby, but that didn't mean that she had to _marry_ him. Wasn't this 2013, where traditions didn't matter and women's rights prevailed? Wasn't she old and famous enough to not have to explain every single part of her life? In the end, shouldn't this be left as it would for anyone else – a private family matter?

"I know you're on the defensive with this, Rayna, but you have to address it." Rayna threw the paper down and glared over at her sister. "I can't even imagine what you're going through, but you and Luke need to make a statement about this. You need to jump in and frame the discussion. Are you hearing me?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Rayna, staring down at her hands. A ring could be there, right on her fourth finger. Luke's ring was _beautiful_ and so _big,_ but Rayna had another two rings in her life, one hidden somewhere in her jewelry box and another thrown angrily down at Deacon's feet.

"Get dressed and then seriously consider moving on this. Think of the album."

 _The album._ It had debuted at midnight, right after the proposal, and Rayna's entire career hinged on its position. Rayna felt her stomach drop and her neck stiffen as she thought about that newspaper article and the public's reaction. Did the entire Luke thing help her, or did it hurt her? Was her business career as doomed as her love life?

"Tandy, what –"

"Congratulations," said Tandy, her voice bitter. "Despite all you've done to screw this up, your album launched at number one again."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Mom!" As soon as Rayna made it down the stairs, Daphne was there, wrapping her arms tightly around Rayna's waist. Rayna returned the gesture and held her close. Her hug was warm and filled with a sad sort of tenderness, and Rayna felt her heart melt as she realized Daphne was sad because of _her._ Everyone was always sad because of something Rayna did.

"You okay, honey?" Rayna brushed Daphne's hair out of her face, and her daughter smiled up at her.

"Yeah. Are you? Aunt Tandy told us what happened, and we –"

"And we just can't believe how stupid you are for doing this to yourself again." Maddie's voice was clear and crisp from her seat at the island, and Rayna felt her hands stiffen on Daphne's head. Daphne looked up at her mother, her eyes round and horrified, but she didn't say anything. Rayna was almost speechless herself, actually.

"Daphne, could you –"

"No," she said, letting go of Rayna's waist and crossing her arms. Her eyes were fierce, much like Rayna's were when she was being defiant about something, and Rayna again simply stared at her. What was happening to her daughters? Was all of this really happening right now? "I know you want to talk to Maddie about this, but I'm part of this family too, Mom. And I'm _not_ a baby anymore!"

She wasn't. Looking at her, with her long, golden hair and her stubborn grimace, Rayna realized that Daphne was growing up, too. She was still a child, no doubt, but perhaps not a _baby,_ like the one growing inside Rayna. _And the one threatening to replace Daphne._

"Alright, then let's all just go over and –"

"Don't drag it out, Mom." Maddie stood up and closed the distance between them. Her eyes were red and puffy beneath her glasses, and Rayna realized that she had recently been crying. "You give us this big speech about you being pregnant and Luke being a part of our lives, and then you turn him down in front of seventy thousand people and won't even talk to us about it after it happens."

"I'm talking to you about it now, sweetheart."

"Yeah, only because it's all over the newspaper!" Maddie's eyes were wild, and her arms were waving toward the crumpled up newspaper on the counter. "This isn't just about you, Mom! This is about _all_ of us, but you don't seem to care about us!"

"I do," Rayna snapped, her tone dangerously as harsh as Maddie's. She was tired of all their selfishness. She knew that was just how children were and she knew they deserved to be selfish, but whether it was the pregnancy hormones or her fragile emotional state, Rayna couldn't take it anymore. "Of _course_ I do, and don't do you dare say otherwise! Do you know how worried I've been about you two since this all happened? Do you know that it was your two faces running through my mind when I told Luke that I couldn't answer him just yet?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They were still mad at her, but it didn't even bother Rayna anymore. She was always doing something to piss one of them off, and nothing she ever did would be good enough. She had to grow to accept the mark of resentment that came with teenagers, and even though it did pierce her heart in ways she had never expected it could, she just couldn't focus on it right now. She could hardly focus on _anything._

"Okay, Rayna," said Tandy, coming into the kitchen with a stack of papers in her hand, "we need to talk business. You album blew up the charts last night after that concert, but Will Lexington's isn't too far behind. After the buzz of this proposal dies down, he's sure to gain momentum." She paused and then looked over at Rayna, gauging her. "And, to be honest, unless we deal with the Luke situation straight away, your public image is only going to dive, along with your record sales."

She was right, Rayna realized, sighing and laying her head down on the island. Tandy poured her a mug of coffee and sat down next to her, and Rayna looked over at her. They bickered and they annoyed the hell out of each other, but they were sisters. For better or for worse they shared the same blood and the same kindred spirit, and Rayna could never be mad enough at her to the point where she would stop needing her. That's what the girls felt, of course, but would they feel that way about the new baby, whatever gender it would be? Would they view it as the third part of their heart or the third layer of hell?

"I'm sorry, Tandy." Rayna reached over and put her arm around her sister's shoulders, resting her head against hers. "You're right and I know you're right. I just don't want to deal with it yet."

"I know, babe." Tandy turned to peck her on the cheek. "But you have to. Think of the album, think of your image – think of your baby."

 _The baby._ Throughout all of this, he or she was the one being short changed. It wasn't easy navigating a pregnancy being single and it wasn't easy to fit into the rest of her chaotic life, but Rayna did have to think of her baby. He or she would be affected by whatever she decided with Luke, and if she decided _not_ to marry him, the child wouldn't know what it's like to grow up in a house with both a mother and father. Maddie and Daphne had been able to experience that, however short it may have been, so didn't this baby deserve the same? Or would it be better for the baby to be raised jointly and, in the end, separately?

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Tandy jumped up. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No," said Rayna, and she fleetingly feared that the paparazzi had broken through the gate and swarmed her house. She had always feared that would happen (especially over the past couple months with the Maddie Clayboure incident), but it never actually did. So, it probably wasn't them.

"I'll get it," Tandy sighed, rolling her eyes at Rayna on her way to the door.

When she opened it, she was silent for a second before she blurted out: "What the _hell_ are you doing here, Deacon?"


	14. Timing is Everything

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Here is the anticipated chapter! I blended some of the show's material with my own for this one, tailoring it to the specific situation, of course. I hope y'all like it :) Stay tuned for more! I'm re-watching season 3 to get an idea of how to fit the sequence of events around my story.

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **14.**

" **Timing is Everything" (Garret Hedlund)**

"What the _hell_ are you doing here, Deacon?"

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." For as long as Deacon could remember, Tandy had always hated him. Back when he and Rayna were dating, her favorite greeting had been, "Go find the bottom of the barrel," and Deacon couldn't recall ever having a halfway decent conversation with her. However, standing there at Rayna's doorstep, he didn't do anything to deserve her hostility. He was there to support Rayna, and regardless of what Tandy might think, he was a different, better man than the one he had been back then.

"What do you want?"

"Well, I'd like to see Rayna," he answered, forcing a smile. "Would you please be a doll and let me inside?"

"You know, I don't really think – "

"It's okay, Tandy." Coming over from the kitchen, Rayna put a hand on her sister's back and gave it a pat, her eyes moving to meet Deacon's. Those eyes revealed everything to him just then – her pain, sorrow, hurt, and confusion. Most of all, he sensed her confusion, for part of her seemed happy to see him while another seemed nervous. His presence had never made her nervous before, and he knew that it was only because of the recent events.

"Rayna, you really shouldn't –"

"I've got this, Tandy."

"But you haven't even talked to –"

"I've _got_ this." Rayna's cheeks flushed slightly, and her eyes flickered over to Deacon. What had Tandy been saying? She hadn't even talked to... Who? _Luke?_

What an asshole. What a complete and utter asshole. Deacon respected Rayna and respected the fact that she was able to date whoever she wanted, but he couldn't understand how she had chosen Luke. Sure, on the surface, he was all "King of Country" kind and compassionate, but there was more to him that that. He and Deacon went way back, and Deacon could still remember it clearly.

 _"That Rayna Jaymes is one fine woman." Luke was leaning against the wall of the backstage hallway, his eyes locked with Deacon's. "Nice rack and a solid ass."_

 _"Yeah," Deacon answered, "and she's mine. So hands-off, alright?"_

 _"We'll see about that, Freakin' Deacon." Luke had walked by and rammed into Deacon's shoulder, laughing. "We'll just see about that."_

It took him twenty years, but he had finally done it: Luke had finally gotten his filthy paws all over Rayna. To be fair, though, Rayna wouldn't even be _in_ her relationship with Luke if Deacon hadn't gotten drunk and put her in a coma. Also, though, he wouldn't have gotten drunk if she hadn't hidden Maddie from him, and if she hadn't hidden Maddie from him...

"Deacon?" Rayna was standing in the doorway, alone now. "Um, do you... Should we go inside, or...?"

"Yeah." As he stepped past her, he caught the scent of her perfume. It was a soft, familiar scent that he remembered well, and, pausing to let it sink in, he realized that he had given it to her. "You wearing that lilac perfume I got you for Christmas a while ago?"

"Oh, yeah," said Rayna, looking up at him. It _hit_ him. That connection was there, that pulsation that seemed to radiate from their very cores. "I guess I am. I wear it a lot, actually."

"That's good. I suppose a man can do that kinda shopping, huh?" She smiled, and Deacon felt some of the tension ease away. It became easier after every passing second, and that was because it was so natural with them, so comfortable – so _right._

"Well, I would offer you coffee, but the girls and I – uh, they're... _busy_ , so –"

"We don't have to beat around the bush, Rayna." She looked up at him, and Deacon felt it again – he felt that connection, but more importantly, he felt her unabridged sadness. "You wanna head on into the den for this?"

She nodded wordlessly and led the way, her shoulders slouched and her steps slow. He followed her, as he had so often done for so many things, and when they entered the den and closed the door, he turned to face her, their bodies only inches apart.

"Look, Ray, I just wanted to come over here and tell you that I'll support you one hundred percent in whatever you want to do."

She blinked at him, her eyes flickering down to his lips, and then she stiffened slightly. "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"But I can't." More pain spread through her eyes, and Deacon sensed her body practically quiver. He wanted to reach out and touch her, he wanted to _hold_ her, but he first had to say what he came there to say.

"Why not?" she asked, her voice low and her eyes now trained intensely on his.

"Because it's a lie." A different kind of emotion overcame her, but at that moment, Deacon didn't stop to fully recognize it. "I was angry when I thought you were lying to me, so I'm not gonna lie to you. I gotta say somethin'."

She nodded slightly, encouraging him to continue, so he said it: "I love you, and I'm never going to stop loving you."

If she had been expecting him to say something, it hadn't been that. Her eyes widened, raw feeling nestled in her gaze, and Deacon moved to take her hand. Sparks flew with the touch, and Deacon felt every inch of his body light on fire.

"I broke your heart in a thousand different ways and God, I am sorry for that, but something changed since last time." She was still staring at him, her gaze unflinching. "Me."

"Deacon..."

"Let me finish." She had moved forward slightly, as if to embrace him, but he needed to say this. He needed her to hear him say this. "That man you always wanted me to be? I _am_ that man now. And I can be a husband now, and I can be a father. And I can give you everything that we were always meant to have."

Tears pooled in her eyes now, but Deacon couldn't tell if they were from joy or sadness. She had so much going on in her expression at the moment, and he was feeling too nervous and too emotional himself to properly discern it. "I know you're in a mess right now, Rayna, and I know that Luke hurt you and yet you need him in your life because of the baby, but I'm okay with that." Finally, he broke through that invisible force field and reached over to lean his forehead against hers. "I just want to make all of this go away for you, baby. I want to fix everything for you. I want to _be_ everything for you."

Just like back at his house and at the hospital, Rayna leaned forward and kissed him, her hands moving to tangle in his hair. There was such a hunger in her kiss, such a desire to be touched and to be loved by him _._ Deacon wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, feeling her chest pressed against his and feeling her curves in his hands. He could also feel the bulge of her stomach as it rubbed against his, but it didn't bother him. On the contrary, he sort of liked it.

His body _ached_ for her, and he could tell that hers ached for him. Her hands traveled across his back and she moved her legs so that his left leg was pinned between her thighs. Then, with a jolt of electricity, Deacon felt her rubbing against him, so he moved his hand down lower, pulling at the edge of her blue jeans.

"Wait." Just like that, she moved her legs away and stepped away from him, panting. _Actually panting_. "I, I can't do this right now, Deacon."

"What?" he asked, not sure of what was happening. Wasn't she just taking it to another level? "Rayna, did I do somethin' wrong? I'm –"

"No," she said quickly, biting her lip and staring at him. He saw the desire still flecked in the iris of her blue eyes, and he saw the wariness. He saw the _fear._ "I _want_ to, but, right now..." She looked away from him then, and he heard her sniff quietly. "I've just got a lot going on right now."

"I know you do, baby." Very slowly, he moved back over to her, and he put his arms around her shoulders, careful to keep their lower bodies apart. "And I'm so, so sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

 _She doesn't deserve this,_ Deacon thought, still holding her. _After all the hell she's been through, she doesn't deserve this. She should be able to run her label, have her baby, and marry whoever she damn well pleases. She deserves the entire_ _ **moon.**_

She moved in closer, bridging all gaps between them, but her legs stood still as her arms tightened around him. "I need my friend right now, Deacon. I need my best friend."

"I've got you, Ray," he said, and he felt her lips brush against his neck softly but then stop. "I'm here for you, baby. Take all the time you need."


	15. I Ain't Ready to Quit

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's another chapter. I'm not sure if this exactly follows season 3's plot line, but I'm trying my best to fit everything together (I borrowed some of the Luke dialogue here from the first episode of season 3). Thanks so much for the reviews and interest in this story so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **15.**

" **I Ain't Ready to Quit" (Jason Aldean)**

"You're choosing him over me."

"I didn't choose anyone, Luke."

"Well, it sure sounds like it with him coming over and makin' out with you."

"No," Rayna insisted, shaking her head. This was awkward – this was _painful._ _"_ That just sort of happened. Look, the point here is that I'm very confused, very emotional, and very pregnant. I need you to be able to support me like you have been doing, our relationship aside. This isn't about us anymore, Luke: it's about our baby."

Luke rolled his eyes and turned away from her then, tapping his right foot. Rayna realized that he just truly didn't understand where she was coming from. It had been a couple weeks since the proposal and they had made a joint statement a week ago, explaining that their decision was mutual and that they were waiting for the birth of the baby to further discuss marriage. After the interview, though, Luke had pleaded with her to marry him while expressing his undying love for her, but Rayna had stood her ground. She had to think about her family, and she had to not rush into anything based on what _others_ were feeling. She had made those mistakes too many times in her 43 years of life.

"It just sucks, you know," he finally said, tossing a glance at her. "It sucks to be so deeply in love with a person and not be able to have them."

 _I know,_ Rayna thought, closing her eyes. _Oh_ how she knew. She had felt that way every single day for the thirteen years she was married to Teddy. Raising her daughters with him had been great and she wouldn't trade those years for anything in the world, but all the while, a part of her had been wishing that it was _Deacon_ while the other part knew that it wasn't possible. Truly and sincerely, Rayna understood exactly what Luke was feeling, and felt guilt wash over her at subjecting him to it. _Was that how Deacon had felt, too? Is that how he_ _ **still**_ _feels?_

"I know," she finally sighed, moving to brush the top of his hand lightly. He caught it and then held it tightly, turning his body to face her before staring into her eyes.

"Look, I'm not gonna apologize for being more than a little ticked that Deacon did what he did, but... I get it." He looked over at her, his body close with his arm draped casually over her chair. "It'd be hard losin' somebody twice, and it's kinda like how I feel." He paused again, his eyes moving down to her stomach before going back up to her eyes. "I'm afraid of losing you."

"I know," she repeated, not sure what to do. She felt so bad for him and she wanted to make him feel better, but the only thing that would help was the one thing she couldn't do just yet. She couldn't assure him her hand in marriage, so really, she was hurting him no matter what she did. _Like always._

"How you feelin' about all this?" he finally asked her. He brushed his thumb over her hand lightly, and she felt chills erupt over her body. It was then that she remembered how long it had been since they had had sex and how desperately she craved it. Her hormones were rampant, but she _couldn't._ It would only make things worse.

"I feel... a lot of different things." He stared at her, nodding slowly. "I love you," she said, and she meant. She truly did. "But Deacon and I just have this... this _thing,_ and we get tangled up in it. It goes deep, you know? It's about what _was..._ what _could be..._ "

"Look," said Luke, "Here's what I do know. You're the one for me." _Of course he would say that._ And _of course_ it would sound so perfect. "No question in my mind. And I guess you just have to figure out at _this_ point in your life, right _now_ , who or what is gonna be right for ya." His eyes wandered down to her stomach again as he said that. "And the last thing I'll say is that I'll wait for you, babe. You think things through and focus on your work, but again, right now you just have to figure out what is right for ya."

"Yes, I do," she said curtly, suddenly not so sure about anything anymore.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Pregnancy or no pregnancy, Rayna had a charts-smashing album to promote and she had a new label to run, neither of which was going to do so themselves.

Things had been crazy over at the Highway 65 studio over the past couple months. The office, recently leased and fully-furnished, buzzed with activity as Bucky and the assistants compared and verified schedules.

"You'll take care of the GMA arrangements," Bucky was saying, "and you take care of the Brooklyn concert at the Barclays Center. I'll cover the flights and the security. Oh, and don't forget to have a doctor available at all times. We have no idea what could happen to Rayna out on the road."

"You're so sweet, Buck." Coming out of her office, Rayna put her arms out and hugged her manager. At a little over seven months pregnant, her stomach bulged out quite profusely and brushed against Bucky's stomach as they embraced. It was embarrassing, if Rayna were to be honest, and it made her feel so self-conscious. She knew that nobody at Highway 65 cared, but still, _she_ cared that she had become a complete and utter blimp. "Thanks so much for thinkin' of me and handlin' everything here while I'm out promoting the album."

"We just want you to be careful, Ray," he said, smiling kindly at her. Bucky wasn't that much older than Rayna (maybe ten years or so), but he'd always been like the uncle/father figure Rayna never had growing up. He had been there for her when she was pounding the pavement at sixteen years-old, her head a mess of flat curls and her clothes practically falling off because they were too big, and he was here for her now as she tried to reclaim her world with everything in the palm of her hands.

"You sure you're feeling up to New York tomorrow, though?" he asked her, following her into her office. "We could ask to swap the concert out with a satellite interview. It'd still generate buzz about the album, and that would give you a break before your concert in Brooklyn."

"Are you kiddin' me? There's no _way_ I'm going to cancel that concert! It's one of the last ones of the year, anyway."

"Alright. You just need to take care not to strain yourself. And once you reach eight months, I don't even know if you should be flying anymore, so we might have to stick to local venues for a while."

Pregnancy was indeed very complicated like that. When Rayna was last pregnant with Daphne, she had taken off a few months, doing a few performances at local stadiums here and there. She had been between albums at the time, though, and was primarily writing. This time, however, she had an album to promote and a new label to practically raise from the ground up, so she couldn't afford to take too much time off. She needed to make a _splash._

"What we need," said Rayna, leaning back in her chair and putting her hands on her stomach, "is to make a big move that'll reel everyone in." CMA nominations were right around the corner, but even so, Rayna still had time to generate buzz and gather great attention to her album. The more nominations she had, the more publicity her label would get, after all.

"I have an idea," said Bucky slowly, "but I don't know if you're gonna like it. And I don't even know if it's possible."

"What?"

"You and Deacon," said Bucky, his eyes shining. "'This Time' already became a smash hit, so what if you and Deaconperformed it _together_ at the GMA concert? Surprise guest appearance and a long-awaited on-screen reunion?"

"Good Lord, Bucky," said Rayna, sitting up straight. She hadn't even thought of that, but now that he said it, she couldn't think of anything better. "You're a genius."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"What do you mean Luke's got you ball and chained?"

"Yeah, well, you know that jackass. As soon as he heard about what I did, he tightened his tour schedule and has made it damn near impossible for me to leave."

"Oh, no," Rayna sighed, leaning her head down on her pillow. Luke had been pissed about the entire Rayna and Deacon thing, and even though she had only seen Deacon a handful of times since then and Luke even fewer, Luke had been going about the ordeal very immaturely. He rubbed Deacon's contract in his face and made it clear that he practically _owned_ him, and he made sure that Deacon had barely any free time to spend with Rayna. _Which, by default, also applied to Luke,_ Rayna thought. She hadn't seen him in three weeks and hadn't even talked to him on the phone in a few days.

It was already four o'clock and Rayna knew that Deacon would have to get going soon. She was lying down for a while before catching her flight to New York, but she couldn't stop thinking about Bucky's idea. "I really need this, Deacon. You and I performing on GMA together is front page news. It's CMA Musical Event of the Year material!"

It really was, when Rayna thought about it. She and Luke's debut of 'Ball and Chain' had serious CMA buzz, so a performance with Deacon would _certainly_ have a similar effect, especially after it being so long since they'd performed together publically. Nominations didn't come out for another week or so anyway, so they still had time; Rayna could still make another mark on this year's music season. _Another mark separate from Luke._

"Yeah, I know." Deacon was quiet for a few seconds, and Rayna could practically hear his brain ticking away furiously. He had told her it wasn't likely because of Luke and his tight ship, but she knew that he was considering all options. "The concert's tomorrow at 9 am?"

"Yep," said Rayna, pulling up Luke's tour schedule on her computer. "It's in Times Square and... Hey! Y'all are playing in Philadelphia tomorrow night. And you're in Atlantic City tonight..."

More silence greeted Rayna's answer before he finally said: "It's only a two hour drive from here to Times Square, and about two hours from there to Philly. You know what, Ray? Screw Luke. I'm gonna rent a truck and drive to Manhattan right after our show tonight."


	16. You Had Me from Hello

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey there! Here's chapter 16. It's loosely following the plot with the GMA performance, but it's a little different as well. I hope you like it, and please review and let me know what you think! Thanks so much for reading.

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **16.**

" **You Had Me from Hello" (Kenny Chesney)**

"What the _hell_ are you doin', Rayna?"

"I could ask you the same thing, hon," she responded sleepily, struggling to reach over and turn on her lamp. Checking the hotel's alarm clock, she saw that it was five o'clock in the morning. Luke's voice was rough and crackly, so Rayna realized that he was probably hung over. She didn't have to be up for another half hour, so she closed her eyes and sank back down on her pillow, hoping the conversation would be quick.

"D'ya happen to know why Deacon took off this morning and told the crew he'd meet us in Philly later today?"

 _Ah_. So Deacon hadn't told Luke where he was going, and Luke had automatically assumed he'd be going to see Rayna. It was the truth, no doubt, but still, that accusation and that _tone_ absolutely stung. In a lot of ways, Luke treated Rayna like a piece of property. She was _his_ , he had told Deacon, and Deacon had to keep his hands _off._ It was like Rayna didn't even have feelings or thoughts of her own.

"Luke, I don't have the time or energy to worry about where your band players are going at the crack of dawn. Now, I have a show to put on in a few hours and you just robbed me of my last half hour of beauty sleep."

"Really? You haven't got _any_ idea where he is?"

"No, Luke." Rayna frowned slightly, for she hated lying to him. Telling him the truth would only make matters worse, though, and it wasn't truly a lie. At that moment, Rayna didn't know which _exact_ road Deacon was on or which state he was in.

"Go back to bed," she finally told him, sighing softly. "You need to sleep off that hangover and I need to get a few more minutes of beauty sleep. I'll talk to you later."

"Rayna, but I really need –"

" _Goodbye,_ Luke."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey," said Deacon, pulling up to the security guard at the GMA parking lot. It was already eight o'clock and he knew that he was cutting it close. Morning traffic through the city had been _awful¸_ but Deacon was there now. And he was ready to rock.

"Name?" the guard asked lazily, pulling out his clipboard.

"Deacon Claybourne."

"Hmm.." The guard spent a few moments fingering through his list before pausing. "Special guest of that country singer?"

 _That country singer?_ It made Deacon laugh. Even though Rayna was a mega star, it always amazed Deacon how her fame could be diminished at non-country music venues. She was _the_ name of country music practically everywhere in the South, but once you crossed that indivisible border and entered the Northeast, things were _different._ Deacon wondered why she even bothered playing in New York when people clearly didn't even appreciate her. It was just a different world now.

"Her name is Rayna Jaymes," said Deacon hotly, "and yeah, I'm her guest for the concert. Can we get going, please? It's getting pretty close to show time."

"Deacon!" When Deacon entered the studio, she was right there to greet him. Her hair was curled in its usual style and she wore a tight white dress that showed off her bump. It'd gotten bigger since Deacon had last seen her, and he smiled over at her, feeling it spread to his eyes. She was absolutely glowing, and she looked so damn good.

"You look beautiful, Ray," he said, opening his arms and leaning in for a hug. She accepted his embrace eagerly and he felt her stomach brush against his. She lingered in his arms for a moment before kissing the side of his neck and pulling away. Deacon felt that familiar chill of excitement surge through his chest.

"Thanks. You're not so shabby yourself."

"Why thank you."

They were quiet for a few moments, but they didn't need to talk: her eyes said it all. They were bright and lively in one breath, clearly joyed to see him, but beneath that was a strained sense of guilt and sadness. Deacon could only assume that Luke had called her (after all, he had tried calling Deacon fifteen times and had left seven threatening messages), so he couldn't even imagine what he had put Rayna through.

"Hey," he said softly, taking her hands into his. "Don't worry about it. This is good for your album, and you know, it's good for me, too."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed, squeezing his hands and then removing hers. Her eyes glanced around at the crew working busily around them, and Deacon understood that she was nervous. She'd become so self-conscious of her every move lately. "Well, the interview's slated for 8:30 in the studio, and then we'll be rushed out to prep for the concert."

"Alright. I'll see you out there, then?"

"What do you mean?" She reached over and put a hand on his arm as he moved to walk away. "Don't you want to tell America good morning with me?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"That was awful," he breathed, his eyes sparkling as they were rushed over to the outdoor stage. "I mean, it was great, but it was awful. Luke's gonna kill us."

Rayna laughed at that and then touched his hand briefly as she went over to the microphone, adjusting it to her height and saying a few words into it for sound check. "Even so," she muttered to him, "everyone _loved_ that. I bet you anything that more people are gonna stay tuned for this performance."

Indeed, even the hosts had gotten a little giddy when they saw both Rayna _and_ Deacon sitting next to them. Amy and Elizabeth had pulled out their phones and played some of their music for them, which was embarrassing enough in its own right. Deacon had saved the day, though, by reaching over and grabbing his guitar, jokingly serenading Rayna as he sang along to their phones. The girls _loved_ that, of course. The rest of the interview had went well with Rayna being able to hit all her points and promote all the right things, and now they were getting ready to kill it on national television.

"We're going on in five minutes, Ms. Jaymes," said Elizabeth as an assistant powered her nose before moving over to do Rayna's. "We have time for about a minute of dialogue before the performance. Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

Glancing over at Deacon, who was also having his nose powdered as someone set up his microphone, Rayna shook her head. "I think we covered everything in the interview, thanks."

 _What am I doing?_ Waving out to all the excited people standing over by the fence, Rayna wondered what the hell she was thinking. This album and this label were supposed to be about _her,_ yet there she was, selling it all as the "Rayna and Deacon reunion." She had _hated_ it when people tried to tie her to Luke, but it was okay with Deacon? _Because it had_ _ **always**_ _been Deacon. There's no difference between music and Deacon._

Rayna was aware of Elizabeth talking now, probably making the introductions as she pointed at both Rayna and Deacon. The crowd was roaring, and then Rayna heard the music reverberate throughout the stage. Feeling herself grow suddenly panicked, she looked over at Deacon, and their eyes met. He was playing the guitar while the opening melody of "This Time" swirled through her ears, and his gaze held her there – it _grounded_ her there. Smiling again, she looked over at the crowd and nodded her head to the beat before looking back at him.

" _Well you know how it goes when you meet somebody, that you like somebody, wanna hold somebody_ –" _Oh yes_ , she thought, still lost in his eyes. _Oh yes._ " _But ya just can't stand to think about somebody as another somebody becoming someone else._ " Was that what was happening? Was Rayna _afraid_ of things heating up with Deacon? Or did she secretly _want_ it? " _When it all goes to hell_."

 _We got this,_ his eyes told her as he strummed away on his guitar. _You ready? Let's do it._

 _"Why can't we keep it on the sweet side."_ Their voices blended together perfectly, and the crowd went wild. Glancing out at all of them, Rayna saw arms in the air and mouths wide open in joy. " _See how it feels to take the slow ride. This time."_

Deacon played the opening melody again, a grin spread across his face _,_ and Rayna felt herself relax. This was the first time in a _long_ time that something felt so naturally and incredibly _right,_ and as she sang the second verse and took her microphone off the stand, she felt so amazingly _free._

When the song ended, Deacon came up to her, and she couldn't help it – she threw her arms around him and let him lift her off her feet a little bit. The crowd continued to cheer even when the cameras broke away, and Amy and Elzabeth were absolutely beaming at them.

"We crushed it," Deacon whispered in her ear. Rayna felt chills erupt down her spine. "Good job, babe. I'm so proud of you."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Deacon?" There in her dressing room chair was Deacon, his flannel sleeves rolled up and his guitar lying on the coffee table.

"Hey," he said, jumping up. His hands moved toward his pocket almost nervously.

"What are you doing here?" She had expected to see him after the show, of course, but she didn't expect him to be in her _dressing room._ At any rate, it saved her a phone call because she had planned on asking him out for an early lunch before he drove over to Philadelphia.

"Just wanted to congratulate you after the show," he said, grinning at her. She felt her heart start to race as he took a few steps closer, their eyes locking together.

"Thanks," she said slowly, wondering where this would lead. Where _did_ she want it to lead? Did it even _have_ to lead anywhere? "You kicked some ass out there too, you know."

"Yeah." Still smiling at her, he came closer until he was standing only a couple inches away from her. She could smell his cologne and could even smell the fabric softener of his clothes. He had always used Snuggle, but this one smelled different, like generic. _Why_ she remembered that was beyond her, and as she tilted her head up to look into his eyes, all of her thoughts started to get jumbled up in her mind.

"Deacon..." He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, and that jolt of electricity shot through Rayna. He put his hands on her waist and she put hers on his chest.

"It's been so long, Ray," he said, his lips and teeth snaking down her neck to her chest. He hovered just above her cleavage, as though waiting for her permission, and in spite of herself, Rayna took her hand and eased his head down.

Rayna couldn't deny her body anymore. It'd been four months since she'd been touched, and right now with the hormones and the pressure of her baby on her bladder, she couldn't stand it anymore. The sexual tension between her and Deacon had been suffocating all morning, too, and whether it was appropriate or not, she _wanted_ him. She'd wanted him for a very long time.

"Lock the door," she whispered to him, breaking from his embrace to kick off her shoes and take off her mics as Deacon crossed the room and then ran back to her, taking her in his arms.

"We'll have to be quick," he breathed, setting her up on the vanity table and pushing up her dress.

"It's fine," she said, unbuttoning his shirt as he unbuckled his belt and then slid his pants down. He was hard already, and Rayna wanted nothing more than to reach down and touch him, _stroke_ him.

"Are you sure about this?" Deacon put a hand on her face and looked into her eyes, searching. She loved how tender and how caring he was, and even though she was stretched on that table with her pregnant body awkwardly shifted against the mirror, he made it romantic somehow.

"Absolutely," she said, and without further ado, she reached down, pulled him out, and then spread her legs, holding her breath as he poised himself to enter her.


	17. Can't Shake You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **17.**

" **Can't Shake You" (Gloriana)**

"Rayna?" There was a knock on the door and they both froze, Rayna's hands squeezing Deacon's shoulders as he was just about to enter her.

"Shit," Rayna murmured, releasing his shoulders and leaning away.

"Rayna?" It was Bucky, and he knocked again. "Hey, are you alright?"

What was she doing? Catching her breath, she looked back at Deacon, and she wondered what the hell she was doing with him. He was panting, too, and his face was still staring at her intently. She still felt that overwhelming bout of desire spread through her body along with that sizzling connection between them, but above that, she felt something else catch hold of her system: guilt.

This wasn't like Rayna. It just wasn't like her. It was true that she and Luke hadn't been on the best of terms lately, but Rayna didn't know if that was enough for her to freely have sex with people. It was _Deacon_ and not just _people_ , to be sure, but still, something about actually going through with it felt a little unfair to Luke. And of _course_ Rayna always cared about how other people felt.

Most of all, Rayna wasn't a _cheater._ She just didn't do that. This reminded her of all that time ago back in her house in Nashville. Coming in late from a meeting, Teddy had demanded if Rayna had slept with Deacon. After denying it and asking him if he honestly thought she would do that, he had asked, "But did you _want_ to?"

Still sitting there on that vanity table with Deacon's legs brushed against her own, Rayna realized at that moment that she _wanted_ to, but she _shouldn't_. Luke wasn't her husband and it wasn't the same thing, but still, she at least owed him more than _this._ She didn't know how she could possibly explain it all to Deacon, who had alreadybeen putting up with all her drama, but now wasn't the time. She'd let her hormones and her feelings get the best of her here, and she didn't have a lot of time to think.

"Sorry, Buck," she finally rasped. It had taken her a while to answer, and she felt herself start to panic. Deacon slowly backed away from her, his eyes still clouded with desire, but when Rayna looked closer, she saw something resembling shame. "I'm just feeling a little queasy."

The doorknob twisted, and Rayna hissed under her breath. Deacon was hastily trying to cover himself while Rayna hobbled down awkwardly from the vanity table and smoothed her dress down over her bump. Their eyes met again, and the exchange said it all: they had almost crossed a line, and even though they both wanted it so very badly, it was a good thing that it didn't happen.

"Why is the door locked?"

"Because... I'm changing. Give me a few moments." In a flash, Deacon followed her noiselessly over to her closet and unzipped the back of her dress for her.

"This is just _great,_ " she muttered, leafing through the closet's clothes and grabbing one of the studio's robes. "Just fantastic."

"I'm sorry, Ray." Deacon turned his head away as Rayna slipped off her bra and then started covering herself with the robe. "I know I shouldn't, I know you're not –"

"No, don't apologize." With her robe only halfway-up (it _was_ just Deacon, after all), Rayna turned back to him and put a hand on his cheek. His eyes met hers again, and she felt a myriad of emotions run through her.

"I wasn't trying to take advantage of you," he whispered, putting his hand over hers. "I don't know why I even did that. I know you're still with Luke, but I just love you so much and, well, I suppose –"

"Just so you know," Bucky continued from the door, "Luke called and he's in the studio right now." _What?!_ Her hand still slowly caressing Deacon's cheek, Rayna merely gaped at the door, feeling Deacon tense under her. What was Luke doing there? Had he been so insecure about Deacon taking off that he himself decided to show up? Did he see the show already? Was he _livid_? "He'll be here shortly, but do you want me to tell him to wait? If you're not feeling well –"

"She's not feelin' well?"

" _Fuck!_ " That was Deacon, and Rayna moved her hand over his mouth before pushing him back into the closet.

"We have no choice here," she whispered to him, steering him toward the furthest corner of the closet. "We'll finish this talk later, babe, but for now, don't make a single sound." Her eyes turned fierce as she stared at him through a now small opening in the door. "For the love of all good things holy, Deacon, don't even _breathe._ "

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Well, look who it is? Little Ms. GMA concert with a special guest performer."

"Luke –"

"No, Ray." Stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, Luke ran a hand through his hair and stopped right in front of Rayna, his eyes glancing at every point except her face. "You lied to me, and I don't deserve that. You not only betrayed my trust as a partner but also as a performer. That's _my_ opening act that just played with you, Rayna. Are you _trying_ to draw publicity away from my show?"

" _God,_ Luke, this isn't about you or your show!" She understood how he could be upset, but so much so that he drove all the way up here and dared to talk about _his tour_ the moment she opened the door?

"What, it's about _you,_ then? _You_ and _your_ show and _your_ album and label? _Everything_ is about you, Rayna! All this time you and Deacon have been callin' _me_ selfish, but why can't y'all just look at your own reflection in the mirror!"

"If you're just going to attack me," said Rayna hotly, feeling tears well up in her eyes and praying that Deacon wouldn't burst out of the closet at this point, "then you can just go and have a nice ride over to Philadelphia."

"That's really how you want to leave it?" With his hands on his hips, Luke finally looked over at Rayna, their eyes making contact. "You want me to just leave and you don't even wanna try to work this out?"

"Yes," said Rayna, but it wasn't exactly the truth. This entire situation with Luke was getting out of hand, and she knew that she had to do _something._ She'd been simply avoiding him and the entire ordeal over the past couple months, but obviously that wasn't working since there she was, caught between two men and conflicted on who she was actually with and who she _should_ be with.

As a mother, Rayna wanted nothing more than to give her unborn child the best life he or she can have, and if she were to be honest with herself, she didn't envision that life as one where she and Luke were married. They'd already been fighting so much and there was already so much pressure on the two of them with their careers, and if Rayna was truly unhappy because she rushed into marriage with Like, she didn't see how that could possibly be a good example for her child.

"Just think very carefully about what you do, Rayna," Luke said through gritted teeth, a couple tears falling down his cheeks. "I don't know if you're having a mid-life crisis or somethin', but this is about more than just you and _your_ feelings _._ Our baby's gonna have feelings one day, too, and I want him –"

" – or her."

"—or her," Luke continued, "to have the best support system that he or she needs. And damn it, Rayna, that support system has to include both you _and_ me, in one way or another."

"I _know_ that, Luke," Rayna snapped. How could she not know that? He'd only reminded her of that during every conversation that they'd ever had the past four months.

"Yeah? 'Cause sometimes it doesn't feel like you do."

"What are you trying to say, Luke?" She was tired of his sudden anger and his sudden hostility. Everything was always _her_ fault and was never there to talk to him about him, yet whenever she tried, he just got like this – cold and aggressive. "Why don't you drop all the bullshit and tell me how you _really_ feel."

"I just don't want to lose you," he blurted out, and all his aggression was gone. His eyes moved from the floor to her face, and Rayna felt herself moved by the complex display of emotion radiating from the depths of his eyes. "I thought I'd be able to handle it, you know, if things didn't work out and we split up, but then I realized that I wouldn't – that I won't."

 _Oh lord,_ she thought, closing her eyes. She glanced unconsciously over at the closet, and her heart skipped a beat. Deacon was hearing all this, and Rayna knew that it was supposed to be private. It was probably best that he heard it all anyway, but _Luke_ didn't get to hear what _Deacon_ said, so wasn't this all a bit unfair? In a way, wasn't she already creating a bias toward Deacon?

"No matter what we do here, we're always gonna be in each other's lives. We're still gonna raise that kid up together, married or not married, so I'm never gonna be able to stay away from you." He paused, his gaze shifting to a point just above her head. "So, in the end, I'm never gonna be able to get over you."

 _Why_ did he have to say that? Sighing, Rayna looked from the closet to Luke's face, and she felt her heart twist. He was such an asshole sometimes, but beneath the exterior, Luke was always so open. Unlike Deacon, he never seemed to hide his true feelings on a matter. He would hang up abruptly and run away sometimes like Deacon did, but Rayna never had to drag the truth out of him; he was always willing to share it with her. Shouldn't she do the same, then? Didn't she owe him that much?

"Luke, I don't wanna lie to you anymore." She really didn't. Rayna felt tears pool up in her eyes as she stopped her pacing to stare at him. He was standing a few feet away from her, dangerously close to the closet, and she just couldn't lie to him anymore. "I don't... I don't think I can marry you. I don't even think we can be together anymore."

"But why not?"

"Please don't." Feeling the first tear fall, Rayna heard that hint of a plea in his voice and took in the expression on his face. It was pained, saddened, and so incredibly raw. "Please don't."

"We've put this off long enough, Rayna," he replied, closing the distance between them. "We need to be completely honest here. I gave you your space and I gave you your time, so I think you at least owe me some kinda explanation now."

He was right. He was a bit of a jealous bastard, to be sure, but he didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve to practically walk in on Rayna having sex with another man while she was carrying his baby. Things had been rocky between them, to be sure, and they had a sort of complicated relationship as of late, but he had done everything she had asked. He had been there for her when she needed him, he had left her alone when she wanted him to; he did so much for her, and in the end, she did basically nothing for him.

"I don't..." She struggled to word it. She didn't want to break his heart any more than she already had, but she didn't want him to get the wrong idea. She loved him, she truly did, but the truth of the matter was that she couldn't get over Deacon. She hadn't gotten over him when she first married Teddy, she hadn't gotten over him after they had landed in that accident – everything she had done up to that point was merely a lie and was merely a desperate escape from her true feelings for Deacon.

"You don't what?" he pressed, his blue eyes gazing intently into hers. "You don't... love me?"

"No, I do," she answered, and at that she felt another tear escape from her ducts. His eyes followed it, momentarily confused, and Rayna lowered her head, feeling more emotion threaten to escape from her chest. "I love you, Luke, and I think you're a wonderful man, but I just can't _marry_ you."

"But _why_?" His voice was almost pleading with her now, and he moved forward to take her hands into his. " _Damn_ it, Rayna, _why_? I love you so much and I just want to be with you. We're having a baby together, and I want to raise it up together. You don't want that?"

It was too much. More tears fell as he held her there, his eyes and his hands keeping her locked into place, and she didn't know what to do. Sobs raked through her chest as the tears kept falling, and he leaned forward so that their faces were merely an inch or so apart. "Haven't you ever thought about us snuggling our newborn baby together?"

"Yes," she whispered, again aware that Deacon was in the closet and again aware that she was bleeding her entire heart out to both of the men in her life.

"Haven't you ever thought about us going on tour together, you, me, the baby, and our kids?"

"Yes," she murmured again, for she had. She had thought about a lot of things, and she had thought about a lot of different situations and a lot of different outcomes.

"I have, too," he whispered, and he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers softly. Her heart was beating fast as she was again _painfully_ cognizant of Deacon stuffed away in the closet, but her mind was also fogging as his lips crushed against hers and bit down lightly. It'd been a long while since they'd kissed like _that,_ and since Rayna's mind had already been blown by Deacon only ten minutes earlier, she was confused. So very, very confused.

"Don't give up on us yet, babe," he murmured in her ear, causing chills to run down her spine. "I know I'm not Deacon and I know I never will be, but what we've got, it's _special._ And I think we just need to give it a chance."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Thanks so much for reading. I've been reading the reviews and I see that there's a bit of a debate over the idea of Deacon and Rayna having sex while she's pregnant with Luke's baby, and I have to say that I can see both sides. Deacon has always respected Rayna's relationships and only went as far as she allowed him, and since he asked Rayna in the dressing room if this is what she wanted and she said that it was, he still followed through with his own sense of morals. Ultimately, though, Rayna is NOT a cheater and was able to resist Deacon for the 13 years she was married to Teddy, so I don't think she would go ahead and cheat on Luke, even if their relationship is rocky.

However, Deacon DID kiss Rayna in the elevator when she was married to Teddy and Rayna DID invite him over to her room, so I think that the two of them very much do act on their impulses at times. Also, Deacon proposed to and kissed Rayna when she was engaged to Luke, and she kissed him back, so I don't think there's ever really been an issue with them blatantly showing and admitting their love for each other.

In the end, though, I don't think Rayna would go all the way and sleep with Deacon when she was still associated with Luke, so I think we're gonna have to wait it out some more. I totally feel like their almost-encounter is feasible since they were coming off a good show and Rayna's hormones are crazy from the pregnancy, but I think Rayna still has some things to sort out before she makes that big leap, although now we know how she really feels about certain things.

I hope you all enjoyed this, and please stick with the story because there will DEFINITELY be more good stuff to come! All this drama and she hasn't even had the baby yet, and we all know how much extra drama babies bring :)

Have a good one, and Happy New Year!


	18. The Man I Want To Be

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's the next chapter. I borrowed a bit from episode 1x4 at the country club with my dialogue toward the end of this first section. I just really loved that exchange. It felt so powerful and so meaningful when they said it.

I hope you like this chapter! Please let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! More to come soon!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **18.**

" **The Man I Want To Be" (Chris Young)**

"Well that was... _Special._ " Stepping out of the closet, Deacon didn't really know what else to say. Rayna was standing there, tears still welling up in her eyes, and Deacon was at a loss for words.

He hadn't known _what_ to expect when Rayna shoved him in the closet and Luke came crashing into the room, but he hadn't expected _that._ It honestly surprised Deacon to see how sincere Luke had come across, and even though he thoroughly disliked the guy, he had to admit how honest and straight-up he had been with Rayna. Deacon knew that Rayna valued that in a person, and most of all, he knew that he himself sometimes didn't always act that way. Had Rayna been thinking that the whole time? Had she been _comparing_ them, wishing that Deacon could be more like Luke? Or hoping that Luke could be more like Deacon?

"Deacon, I –"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I get it. Seems to me like... You have some real feelings for him."

"Deacon." Her tone dismissed the idea, but when Deacon looked into her eyes, he saw guilt and emotion pent up inside of them. "Deacon, it's been a lot for me to handle. I'm sorry you had to hear that, but Luke's always –"

"He's _always_ like that?" Deacon let out a cold laugh and then crossed his arms. "Well _that's_ nice to know. Real helpful to this conversation."

"Deacon." This time her tone was scolding, and, looking over at her, Deacon saw the first glimpse of pain enter her gaze. "Don't do this right now, please. You don't understand."

"I don't understand." That statement stung. Moving his hand to scratch his chin, Deacon walked over to the vanity mirror and stared at his reflection. Of all the people in the world, Deacon was the _only_ one who understood her. He'd always been the only one to understand. "I don't think that's very fair to say, Rayna."

"I know." Her voice cracked just then, but Deacon didn't turn around. "Deacon, I'm _sorry._ For everything."

"You're sorry." Strangely enough, Deacon felt calm. In a way, it was almost comedic. Deacon had been hiding in the closet like some sort of naughty teenage recluse, and it felt like he was watching a movie. He watched the handsome suitor shed a pretty tear and pour his heart out to his bride-wannabe, and he watched the bride-wannabe cry back with an elegant assertiveness as she constantly glanced back to the closet at her hideaway.

But the truth of the matter was that it _wasn't_ comedic. A lot of things were on the line here, and Deacon didn't know how much more he could take. Rayna had been telling him for years how much she loved him and how important he was to her, and especially as of late, Deacon realized how much _he_ loved _her_ and knew that there was no going back. It was either all or nothing with them, as they both knew perfectly damn well.

"I thought you needed me," he finally rasped, feeling his emotions finally get the best of him. He resisted the temptation to look at her, because he knew what would happen – he knew that he would be sucked in by those beautiful eyes and all the intensity of her soul.

"I _do_ need you," she replied, her voice equally as cracked and broken. It killed him, it really did, but he didn't look at her. "Deacon, I've always needed you. I think I always will."

 _Of course_. Still not looking at her, Deacon closed his eyes. He'd waited a long time to hear her say that, but for some reason, it just didn't feel right. He knew it was true, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to believe her. He'd been chasing her for over half his life now, but he came up short every single time; he just was never _enough_ for her.

"Deacon." It was different this time. Flecked with alarm and a hint of fear, Rayna's "Deacon" was different, and he instantly turned around to look at her. "Deacon, I... I think I just had a contraction."

"What?" Their eyes locked, his wide with puzzlement and hers wide with shock. "Ray, you're only seven months pregnant. You can't be, you _shouldn't_ be –"

"I think," she said calmly, wincing and clutching her stomach, "that you need to take me to a doctor. Immediately."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"It'll be okay, Ray." Whether it was prudent or not, Deacon was carrying her – actually _carrying_ her – through the hospital. Her arms were wrapped loosely around his neck as he kicked open the door of the emergency room and rushed inside. Rayna felt safe and secure in his arms, but at the same time, she felt embarrassed. She considered herself to be a generally independent and strong-willed woman, but at this particular moment, she knew that she needed someone else to take care of her, which was a very strange feeling. _I really do need him, huh?_

The contractions didn't really hurt, but it was alarming that they were even there in the first place. Rayna was 30 weeks pregnant and she knew that things like this could happen, but it had never happened to her before. Maddie and Daphne's pregnancies had gone smoothly, but this one had been a complete roller coaster. She hadn't been on the road as much during her other pregnancies, so perhaps it was all finally starting to catch up to her? Perhaps the baby had had enough? God, she hoped not! She wasn't ready for this!

"We need to see a doctor," Deacon told the clerk quickly, setting Rayna down and slipping his arm behind her back. "This is –"

"Rayna Jaymes!" Blushing, the receptionist was staring at Rayna with round, excited eyes. She looked to be about forty, and she smoothed her blouse nervously before shifting her gaze to take in Rayna's clutched stomach and strained face. "Are – are you alright, Ms. Jaymes?"

"She's having contractions," Deacon said for her, tapping the counter lightly and recapturing the woman's attention. Rayna could have answered for herself, but she was glad that he was doing it. She was honestly in such shock that she barely could register walking. "I know things must be very busy and all, but d'ya think you could squeeze us in? We're on a tight schedule, you know, with the performing and all."

Rayna watched as Deacon pouted his lip slightly and trained all the intensity of his gaze on the woman. He had a way of tilting his head and fixing his eyes so that he could penetrate your soul. That look had always taken Rayna's breath away, from when she was in her early twenties to now in her early forties. The receptionist blushed even harder and then looked down at her computer, so Rayna clearly wasn't the only one affected by Deacon's charm. "We're really busy today, but... Of course, Mr. Claybourne. We'll take care of you guys."

 _You guys,_ Rayna thought amidst all the chaos, allowing Deacon to lift her into a wheelchair and then roll her to the back room. _Welcome to New York, y'all._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Everything's fine, Ms. Jaymes." Rayna let out a long breath and Deacon slipped his hand into hers, which she squeezed tightly. Her hand was warm and sweaty, and Deacon squeezed back, trying to soothe her. "Just your common case of Braxton Hicks early contractions. Sometimes when your bladder is full or if you're under stress, your body reacts as if it's going into labor."

"But it's not, right?" Deacon thought he knew, but he wanted to be sure. "She doesn't have anything to worry about?"

"Nothing at all to worry about," said the doctor, and he smiled at them, leaning forward to shake Deacon's hand. "Just keep her off her feet, Dad. Jump in there and do some of the housework for her. And Mom, don't over-exert yourself. If you're working, this might be a good time for you to consider taking some time off. I'll have Sharon print you off some information on the matter and then you'll be good to go."

"He had no idea." Laughing, Rayna and Deacon exited the Starbucks and sat down on a nearby bench, exchanging grins. "He had absolutely no idea."

"What an idiot," Deacon agreed, sipping his black Americano. "'Keep her off her feet, Dad. Do some of the housework for her.' What the hell."

"Well the hell," she repeated, chuckling. Clutching her green tea lemonade in her right hand, Rayna turned to look at him before moving her left hand to brush his. "Thank you for this, Deacon." Their eyes met, that connection surged, and Deacon felt his heart start to beat uncontrollably.

This was how it should have been. Side-by-side, refreshments in hand, baby on board – this should have been _them._ Rayna knew this, for she moved her hand to fully hold his, her eyes pouring into his. He felt every ounce of guilt and regret that she must have been feeling, and he felt a fresh stab of pain rush through him. He squeezed her hand tighter and felt tears pool in his eyes. This was all he ever wanted, and even though he was there with her, he wasn't. Not the way he should have been.

Rayna's phone started beeping just then, and Deacon peaked out of the corner of his eye to see "Luke" flash across the screen.

"Damn it," she murmured, shifting to hold her phone in her hands and stare down at it. "God _damn_ it."

Deacon had managed to shoot Bucky a text once they were in the hospital, but he hadn't called Luke. Bucky probably did, though, so Deacon knew Rayna would get hell for it. That jackass was probably bawling his eyes out on the other line, working up his speech about how he doesn't want to lose the baby and doesn't want to lose Rayna.

"Bet Luke'll be pretty pissed," Deacon dared to say, waiting for Rayna's response.

"Probably," she sighed, but to Deacon's surprise, she ignored the call and slipped her phone back into her bag. "It's only one o'clock. Wanna grab a hotdog?"

"That's it?" Standing to help her up, Deacon couldn't help but stare at her, slightly mystified yet slightly amazed. "You're not gonna... Leave and go run to him?"

"Why?" Rayna reached as if to take his hand into hers as they walked, but she stopped, her eyes glancing at the passerby. She blushed slightly as one person turned around to take a double take at her. "He knows everything's fine, and... I'd rather be with you."

A small smile crept across Deacon's lips as they walked down the busy New York boulevard, their shoulders brushing and their steps light and free.


	19. There's No Me Without You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Happy New Year! The story is finally getting close to the CMA episode, and I'm so excited to write that one. Let's just say things are going to be quite different in my story than on the show ;)

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think.

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **19.**

" **There's No Me... Without You" (Glen Campell)**

"Mom, it's almost on!" Rayna heard two sets of excited footsteps and then felt two plops as Maddie and Daphne jumped onto her bed.

"Already?" Easing her eyes open, Rayna stretched her arms out and then curled them back to her as Daphne slipped into her embrace. Maddie turned on the TV before leaning comfortably against the pillows, the glare of the screen catching on her glasses as she stared at it expectantly.

Rayna had almost forgotten about the CMA nominations, to be honest. It had been a week and a half since her GMA appearance and her trip to the hospital, and she had no choice but to cancel her New York shows and fly back to Nashville. The girls were excited, of course, but Rayna felt conflicted. She knew that her health was important and that she needed to prioritize everything, but her music _was_ a priority – doing shows and promoting the album was _definitely_ a priority.

"And now," said Sara Evans from the TV, elicting a squeak from Daphne ("I love her!"), "for this year's CMA nominations. Nominees for New Artist of the Year: Brett Eldredge, Will Lexington, Kip Moore, Kasey Musgraves, and Sadie Stone."

"Sadie!" Rayna sang, clapping her hands together. She had worked so hard to sign Sadie and get her music going, so this was a huge perk for her label. _Screw you, Jeff!_

"Nominees for Female Vocalist of the Year: Kelly Clarkson, Rayna Jaymes, Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift, and Carrie Underwood."

"Mom!" The girls screamed in unison and hugged Rayna tight, and she smiled, simply staring at the television. That was three nominations in three consecutive years for her. What an honor! And yet another perk for the label!

"Nominees for Male Vocalist of the Year: Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Blake Shelton, Keith Urban, and Luke Wheeler."

"Mom, it's Luke!" Daphne sat up and pointed at the screen excitedly, with Maddie merely rolling her eyes and leaning away from Rayna.

Luke hadn't been too happy about Rayna's impromptu hospital check-in with Deacon. "You should have called _me_ ," he had yelled at her when she finally called him back. " _I'm_ supposed to be the one you call! That's _my_ baby, Rayna!"

She couldn't exactly blame him, but at the same time, she wasn't exactly sorry. Things had been intense between them that morning, and Deacon had already been there. Also, Rayna had _wanted_ Deacon to be there with her. He was her rock and he had always been there for her, so who better to take her to the hospital? _Who better than the one man I've always loved?_

As it stood, Rayna and Luke weren't exactly together anymore, but they weren't broken up, either. Luke simply refused to accept that, and even though Rayna had spoken to him again and urged him to think about the reality of the situation, he wouldn't. How was that fair to Rayna? What was she supposed to do with that?

"Single of the Year: 'It's On Tonight' by Luke Wheeler, 'Mama's Broken Heart' by Miranda Lambert, 'Merry Go 'Round' by Kasey Musgraves, 'This Time' by Rayna Jaymes', and 'Wagon Wheel' by Darius Rucker."

"You go, Mom!" Maddie chanted as Rayna again simply stared at the screen, her mind buzzing with both excitement and awkwardness as she thought of how she would be spending the entire evening of the CMAs sitting next to Luke and probably getting bantered by Brad and Carrie.

"Album of the Year: 'Blown Away' by Carrie Underwood, 'Moon or Shine' by Luke Wheeler, 'Red' by Taylor Swift, 'Same Trailer Different Park' by Kasey Musgraves, and 'The Parts I Remember' by Rayna Jaymes."

"No way," Rayna whispered, half-laughing and half-crying now as Daphne pummeled into her arms again. That was three for three so far. This was just too good to be true.

"Entertainer of the Year: Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Rayna Jaymes, Keith Urban, and Luke Wheeler."

"NO WAY!" That was the top of all CMA honors, and Rayna hadn't been nominated for that since she was in her 30s. It was common knowledge that the country folk liked to change it up every few years or so, but apparently they made room again for Rayna; apparently, Rayna realized with a flush of excitement, she was really and truly back.

"And finally, Musical Event of the Year: 'Ball and Chain' by Rayna Jaymes and Luke Wheeler, "Cruise" by Flroida Georgia Line, 'Don't Rush' by Kelly Clarkson and Vince Gill, 'Highway Don't Care' by Tim McGraw, Keith Urban, and Taylor Swift, and 'This Time' by Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne."

"That's twice!" Maddie exclaimed, her mouth open and her eyes alive. "Mom, you got nominated twice in that category! You're up against _yourself!_ "

 _I'll be damned,_ Rayna thought, bending down to cover Daphne's face in kisses and leaning over to take Maddie's hand. 7 CMA nominations for her label, one for Sadie, one with Luke, and one with Deacon. Rayna _knew_ that going on with him at the GMA concert had been a good idea, and here was the hard, solid truth of the fact. It had given her just enough buzz to obviously get a nomination from it, and in the end, it had given her so much more clarity on her career and on her life.

"Mom, your phone's ringing." Snapping back to the moment, Rayna looked over at her nightstand to see "Luke" light up on her phone. Maddie eyed her intensely as Rayna picked up the phone and put it against her ear, her heart suddenly beating faster.

"Hey," she said, turning away from Maddie's ridiculously hard gaze.

"Hey!" Luke's voice was booming and joyous, and Rayna heard the pop of champagne bottles in the background. "Just called to congratulate my incredibly talented and beautiful girlfriend on her multiple nominations."

 _Incredibly talented and beautiful girlfriend._ It felt strange to be called that, if Rayna were to be honest, and she didn't really know how to take that. Luke _knew_ how she felt about their situation and Rayna had _hoped_ that he'd at least respect her take on it, but apparently he didn't. Or maybe he was just putting on a show for his band mates? _And for Deacon?_

"Thanks. Congratulations to you, too. It's just amazing."

"Tell me about it! I got 5 noms, you got 7." _Of course_ he would bring that up. If he was jealous over it, though, he certainly didn't show it; instead, he seemed genuinely happy and excited. Could that be true? Could he really _not_ be jealous of the fact that she had two more nominations than him, one being for the performance she did with Deacon? "It's gonna be huge for your label."

"I know. I'm just thrilled."

"Yeah, me too." He paused just then, though, and Rayna stiffened, waiting for it. "Well, I just wanted to call and tell you congrats. I gotta get goin' back to my band mates here. Tell the girls I said hello."

"I will," said Rayna, sighing slightly with relief. She had no doubt in her mind that he was jealous over her nomination with Deacon, but she was glad that he didn't ruin the moment and bare his ugly head at it.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Luke's party was a _drag._ Everything was about Big Wheelin' Luke Wheeler, and it felt like such a self-absorbed glam fest that Deacon truly considered leaving. Rayna had gotten more nominations than Luke, yet he acted like he was the star of the CMAs. Hell, _Deacon_ had gotten a nomination, but Luke didn't even acknowledge it. Not that he ever would, though, since it was for a performance with Rayna that Deacon had done behind his back.

"Hey man, congrats on your nomination." To Deacon's surprise, one of the drummers came over and clapped him on the shoulder, grinning. "I know Luke'll never say anything, but that really was a great performance. I watched it on YouTube, and all I can is that I see why he's so pissed."

Deacon wasn't sure if that was truly a compliment or not, but he could take it. It was better than nothing, after all. He returned the drummer's smile and then turned back to his club soda, perfectly aware that Luke was eying him from the other side of the room.

"What do you think of the nominations?" Everyone grew quiet again as Robin and Amy appeared on the TV screen, discussing the nominations as they always did.

"Well, with Rayna Jaymes and Luke Wheeler getting nods in _all_ the major categories, I think it's safe to assume that 'Ruke' mania has officially spread from fans to the voters." Luke let out a whoop, but Deacon's mouth hardened. He didn't like what they were implying, and he knew that Rayna must be thinking the same thing as she watched it. "And, you gotta believe that getting minted 'Country Music's Super Star Couple' had a lot to do with their huge success."

"Well, they _do_ seem to be in the spotlight quite a bit these days, especially with the pregnancy."

"Oh yes, and especially since Rayna keeps playing hard to get. Luke proposed about, what, four months ago? And they're _still_ not discussing any marriage plans?"

"Well," said Amy, "I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter anymore, does it? Rayna's got the baby and the nominations, so does she really need anything more from Luke at this point?"

"What?" Deacon stood up and threw his chair back roughly, causing everyone in the room to look up at him, even Luke. "What the _hell_ are they tryin' to say?"

People were uncomfortable as they took quick sips of their beers and looked away, but Luke was staring at him full in the face, a smug look on his face.

"Well, I think it's pretty obvious."

 _The nerve._ In a flash, every vile and malicious thought Deacon had ever felt toward Luke came bubbling up to the surface. He thought of those days back in the beginning when he'd try and outshine Deacon during their shows by extending his guitar solos, and he thought of wild he had been when he first started to make it big on his own. From day one, Luke Wheeler cared only about himself and his little circle of happiness, and that was no good. No good for Rayna, no good for Deacon – no good for _anyone._

"She's not your fucking trophy, Luke." Their faces were inches apart now, and through the mask of arrogance, Deacon could see genuine nervousness nestled in Luke's blue eyes. "She's her own person, and she's a legend in her own right, with or without you."

"And what about you?" The nervousness was gone and replaced with pure, unabridged hostility. "Is she a legend without _you_?"

"Yeah," Deacon answered, narrowing his eyes and then turning around.

But the truth, Deacon realized as he grabbed his guitar and walked away, was that he wasn't really sure. As Rayna had said time and time again, there would be no Rayna Jaymes without Deacon Claybourne. Also, at the very core of it all, there was no difference between him and music, just like there was no difference between Rayna and music.


	20. Country Must Be Country Wide Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey! Here is the CMA Awards chapter, **part 1 of 2.** I based this off of the 2013 CMA Awards show, taking some jokes and ideas directly from that (so there's my disclaimer and also encouragement for you all to look up Brad and Carrie's opening of it on YouTube. It was a funny year. Connie Britton was at that award show, too!).

I hope you all like this, and stay tuned for part 2/chapter 21! Thanks so much for reading and for sticking with this story!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **20.**

" **Country Must Be Country Wide" Part 1 (Jason Aldean)**

"We've got to be prepared for _everything._ " Pulling out her measuring tape, Sally again measured Rayna's hips, all the way around her bump. "And by everything, I mean going into labor. You're already at 37 weeks, for goodness sake! I wouldn't be surprised if you delivered this baby watermelon right there on the stage."

It was true. At 37 weeks pregnant, Rayna was ready to _pop._ Her previous pregnancies had gone a little over, though, so Rayna was prepared for that to happen with this one. It was different this time around since she'd be on the red carpet and on her feet for the next several hours, but she was assured that there would be arrangements for her. They had been very adamant and kind about that.

"I'm packing you an emergency labor bag," Sally continued, riffing through Rayna's drawers and pulling out maternity clothes.

"Oh, you don't have to fuss, Sally," said Rayna, feeling embarrassed. "I know it's not your job exactly and –"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Sally turned around to glare over at Rayna, her hands on her hip and a small smile on her face. "Rayna Jaymes, I've known you for twenty years now, and I've gone through four pregnancies of my own. No one knows better than me how to handle this, and I'll be damned if the first pictures of you and your baby in the hospital are gonna be anything short of stylish."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"And here comes country music's biggest couple!"

"Watch 'ur step there," Luke mumbled, taking Rayna's hand and helping her out of the limo. For the occasion, Sally had suited her up in a long, flowing silver gown with extra material around her midsection. It gave some relieve to her bump and cradled it in a way that didn't draw too much attention to it, though it was impossible to miss. Putting on a smile, Rayna followed him out to greet the reporters.

This hadn't been as easy as she thought it'd be. On the way there, she and Luke had bickered incessantly over the most trivial of matters, like who would sit on the outside of the row and who would talk to the reporters about what. More importantly, though, they discussed what they would say about the baby.

It was due any day now, and people wanted to know with whom it'd be staying and what their plans for marriage were. Luke wanted to tell everyone what Rayna had said, that she just doesn't want to marry him, but Rayna wasn't comfortable with that. Like she had been saying all along, it was first and foremost a private, family matter, and she just didn't feel like breaking that code. And she hoped that he would respect her on that. _For once._

"You're not only here as country music's power couple," one of the reporters was saying, "but you're also here as competitors. How does that feel?"

How does that feel? _Fantastic._ They're fighting over every detail of the baby's life and are now literally duking it out over little shiny trophies. "It's definitely an interesting experience," Rayna finally said.

"And at the end of the day," Luke added, putting an arm around her (the public had _no_ idea how complicated their relationship was), "a win for Rayna is a win for me, and vice versa. Plus, both of our mantels could use some new decorations, so we both got that goin' for us."

"Although I might have to say that if I'm lucky enough to get a trophy tonight, I might have to take it to my Highway 65 office." Because she would, Rayna realized, trying not to lean too far away from Luke and trying very hard to make this seem natural.

"Ah, there we go. Rayna's busy building this great label. Any plans to sign your boyfriend here?"

"As much as I'd love to see Rayna call _all_ the shots," (like _hell_ he would), "I am stayin' put at Edgehill."

"Well, one more question for you guys. You're simply glowing tonight in that gown, Rayna. Are you excited for the baby?"

"Of course we are." Luke fielded it, and he bent down to kiss her on the head in the process. "That little guy is the most important award in both of our lives right now."

"So it's a boy?"

"We don't know yet," said Rayna quickly, letting out a forced laugh. "Luke just has some wishful thinking."

"If it _is_ a boy, though," Luke countered, his eyes twinkling, "you can be sure to see Luke Wheeler Jr. here himself in another twenty years or so. Our kid's gonna kick some country music butt one day."

"How could you say that?" They were past the mob of paparazzi now, so Rayna pulled her hand away from his roughly. "We haven't even discussed names, and now you tell the world we're gonna make it a junior if it's a boy?"

"Yep," said Luke, dipping his hat and moving on through the doors. "Can't retract what we say in public, now can we, sugar?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Why can't we be friends?" Brad and Carrie sang, "why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends – why can't we be friends?"

"Luke Wheeler and Deacon Claybourne aren't getting along." _Oh no._ "They're both sitting right there by Rayna Jaymes." _Really? Did they have to do that?_ "In the end, who cares and all? Because they're both on the ball!"

"And chain!"

"Why can't we be friends?"

The camera crew came over, and Rayna sat there frozen, aware of both Luke and Deacon tensing in their seats next to her. Luke smiled and reached over to clap Deacon on the shoulder, but Deacon merely tightened his mouth and scooted a bit closer to Rayna, a clear sign of rejection. Luke registered his shift, but before he scowled, the camera moved on already. _Thankfully._

"Will you two stop it?" Rayna whispered to them, smiling again as Kellie Pickler ran by them to hand a feuding card to Kelly Clarkson. "Even our fellow artists know there's somethin' goin' on! Y'all need to cool it."

"It's not really my fault, darlin'," said Luke, leaning back and putting his arm around the back of her chair. " _You're_ the one makin' all the complications."

Rolling her eyes, Rayna moved slightly so that her right arm was brushing Deacon's left. "Don't let him get to you," she murmured in his ear as she leaned over slightly. Luke's arm jabbed her roughly, and she looked up to see a camera light in her face.

"Are you nuts?" Luke whisper-yelled, his voice drowned out by the laughs from the audience. "The cameras are goin' to be trained on us all night! If you weren't aware, we _are_ the most nominated artists tonight, so keep it in your fucking pants."

"Oh, she's aware," spat Deacon, his face popping out from around Rayna's. "After all, _she's_ the one with the most nominations, and _she's_ the one who's going to win them all."

"Claybourne, will you shut up?" In the row ahead of them, Jason Aldean turned to give them all the stink eye. "I get that y'all got some drama goin' on, but this ain't the place to air it out."

"True that," Deacon murmured, shuffling his feet. Rayna knew that he was embarrassed by all of the fuss, and she felt bad for him. He didn't really do publicity events, but how could he not come to the CMAs when he was nominated? It wouldn't have been fair to him. Careful to make sure both Luke and the cameras weren't looking, Rayna reached over and patted his hand lightly. They exchanged a glance, and they both understood.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Brad, what are you doing?" It was toward the end of their opening now, and Rayna hoped that they'd hurry up already. She was admittedly getting a bit anxious and nervous for the awards to be given out, but more than that, she just wanted to go home. The hostility between Luke and Deacon was exhausting, and what Rayna wanted most was a long, hot bath.

"Sexting." _Did he just say sexting?_ Rayna hoped that the girls weren't watching this, but she knew that they were.

"Well, it's not working because Kim isn't getting them."

"Oh, Kim? That's an idea."

"Then who are you sexting?"

"Luke Wheeler." The cameras were back, and Rayna and Deacon both feigned very tight smiles as Luke laughed and pulled out his phone, looking at it with wide eyes.

"Oh, but he's probably sexting Rayna," said Carrie dismissively, waving him off. "So he's probably not going to sext you back."

"But he is!" Brad waved his phone in the air, and Luke waved it back. "He's sexting me because Rayna is sexting Deacon."

Luke's face fell, and the crowd let out stilted laughs. Rayna could tell that they felt awkward by the way everyone turned around to glance sideways at the three of them. Rayna and Deacon's relationship had always long been a topic of discussion over the years. They'd dealt with the digs as lovers, the digs after their breakup, and now the digs of their friendship/whatever it was. With a quick smile, Deacon put his arm around Rayna and leaned toward her as the camera again fell on them. Out of the corner of her eyes, Rayna saw Luke's fist tighten.

"Isn't technology wonderful?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"And now," said Joe Nichols, "the nominees for Musical Event of the Year."

Rayna had already won Album of the Year, Single of the Year, and Female Vocalist of the Year (along with Sadie winning New Artist of the Year), but this was the award she was most anxious about, even more than Entertainer of the Year. She had two nominations here, which obviously increased her odds, but most of all, she wondered who she'd win the award with if she won – Luke or Deacon? If she won with Deacon, would she feel guilty? And if she won with Luke, would she feel embarrassed?

"And the CMA goes to... Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne!"

Rayna felt a rush go through her body. She felt the rush of excitement from winning, she felt the rush of validation for going through with that GMA performance, she felt the rush of the air conditioning as she stood up in the hall – she felt a lot of things. She did feel guilt, a very small ounce of it, but more prominently, she felt so _right._ It felt right and fair for her to have won the award with Deacon.

"Congratulations, baby." Deacon was standing with her, and he hugged her, _tightly._ Rayna knew that the cameras would be trained on them by now, but she didn't care – she kissed him on the lips (though gently) and then pulled him up there on the stage, which must have looked very comical since she was the size of a blimp and he followed her as though waiting to catch her if she fell.

"Wow," she said into the microphone once they were up there, still holding Deacon's hand. "We are so honored. Wow." She moved aside just then to let him speak, and he blinked at her appreciatively before taking her place.

"When we played that song on GMA," he said, "we honestly didn't know how everyone would take it." The crowd let out a few laughs. "Rayna and I haven't performed on national television together in, what, fifteen years?"

"No," said Rayna quickly, winking. "That would make me _old!_ "

"Well," said Deacon, laughing along with the crowd, "it had been a while, and it was truly an honor to perform with her again." He paused to gaze down at her, and he squeezed her hand. "Rayna Jaymes is the most talented, sincere, heart-warming, and beautiful musician and person that I know. Y'all clearly can see that, and I'm just so thankful to be a part of her orbit."

It was a touching speech, really, and as the two of them were ushered backstage, Rayna looked out to see that there were three empty seats in the center section – hers, Deacon's, _and_ Luke's.


	21. Country Must Be Country Wide Part 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! I'm SO sorry for the delay. School started back up (my last semester!), and the workload has been overwhelming. I had some spare time to work on this story, though, so here is part 2! I borrowed a couple lines of dialogue from the show's CMA episode, but the rest is pretty much my own events tailored to the circumstances of my story.

Please review and let me know what you think! I'm working on chapter 22 and will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **21.**

" **Country Must Be Country Wide" Part 2 (Jason Aldean)**

"What the hell are you doing?"

Swinging the bathroom door open, Deacon and Rayna walked in to confront a very angry Luke. His hands were clutching the bathroom stall, as if ready to kick it down, and as he turned around to face them, Rayna saw a wild rage in his eyes. She'd never seen that kind of sheer, unadulterated bitterness in him before. It was so jarring and so crazed, and if Rayna were to be honest, it frightened her a little.

"I'm pretty sure this is the _men's_ room," Luke snarled. Rayna caught his eye, and then she looked away, suddenly wishing that she'd just gone back to her seat after accepting the award with Deacon. Confronting Luke had felt like a good idea at the time, but maybe this had evolved to a completely other level; maybe it would be better if they all just left the awards show.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

The two men moved forward and were standing with their faces merely inches apart. Deacon's fists were curled and Luke's entire body was tense. The tension in the room was overwhelming, and it made Rayna feel a bit whoozy.

"I'll whatever I damn well please, thank you very much."

"You will _not!_ This ain't the Deacon Claybourne show here. You might have all of them in the palm of 'ur hands, but not me, Deacon. To me, you're still just that out-of-control drunk who'll never amount to anything. _Anything._ "

" _Stop_ it!" Before Deacon could reach forward and punch Luke square in the face, Rayna rushed between them, her heart pounding. This had escalated at an alarming rate, and whether they all liked it or not, they had to straighten up and get back to their seats. They were unfortunately something of a public intrigue, so it wouldn't be long before people came looking for them. Leaving, Rayna realized, wouldn't do any good for any of their public images, so they _had_ to tough it out. "For the love of God, just stop it! Y'all have been like this all night, and I can't take it anymore. You're making fools of us all. And I will _not_ be made a fool with so much on the line. Is that understood?"

The two looked up to glance at her, but they said nothing. Deacon backed off, his breathing heavy and his eyes still trained on Luke, and Luke merely stared back at him, sneering. _This is going to be a long night,_ Rayna thought, trying very hard to keep her carefully-guarded composure. _Lord, please just get me through the rest of this night._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

 _Unbelievable._ It was truly unbelievable. As Rayna threw her hands in the air and walked out of the bathroom, Deacon stayed behind to have a final word with Luke, feeling his entire body shake with a deeply-ingrained fury. Deacon had been angry about a lot of things over the course of his life, but it had never been quite like this. Luke had just told Rayna that all her success came from the fact that she was pregnant with his child and that he had proposed to her the night of her album's launch. It was like she owed everything to him – like shewas nothing without him _._ As if that could _ever_ be true!

Deacon had seen this coming back when the CMA nominations first came out, and if it weren't for the fact that Luke was the father of Rayna's unborn child and that Deacon was trying very hard to control his temper, he would have punched the living daylights out of him.

"Let me just say this, you bastard," said Deacon coolly and evenly. "You don't _deserve_ Rayna, and if I can do anything about it, you're never gonna have her. Now go clean yourself up and meet us back out there. It's the least you can do for her."

Without even giving Luke a chance to respond, Deacon turned around and stormed out of the bathroom, feeling proud. He usually handled things like that with his fists, but he'd been able to hold back. It was a step in the right direction for him, and maybe, just maybe, that'd be enough for Rayna to see that he was finally ready to be the man that she always wanted him to be.

"Deacon!" As Deacon turned and continued down the hall, he looked over to see Keith Urban coming up to him, his eyes concerned. "Hey, man, what's goin' _on_?"

Keith and Deacon went way back. Back in 1992 when Keith first moved to Nashville, Rayna was just starting to pick up some steam. She and Deacon had been doing small, low-key venues all around the south, and Keith was part of a band called The Ranch. They all met at one of the music awards in Nashville, and after having a guitar face-off (which Deacon lost, but he couldn't blame himself because, well, it _was_ against Keith Urban), the two guitarists had formed a solid friendship.

"Too much to air out here, Keith." _Wasn't that the truth._ "But it's all good."

"Well, I know you're not asking for it, but I'd like to offer some advice," said Keith. He moved to put a hand on Deacon's shoulder. "Advice from a friend. A _good_ friend."

Keith meant well. He really did, and Deacon could appreciate that. "Alright, then."

"Don't worry about what everyone thinks and what everyone says. You and I both know how Luke can be, and I can't say that I envy the position that Rayna is in. But do what's right, and don't think anything of it."

What exactly was he saying? Looking into his friend's eyes, Deacon saw a soft sense of compassion and understanding flecked in their blue depths. He didn't find judgment or disproval, but true sincerity.

"I've gotta get goin' because they need me on stage soon," Keith finally said, "but good luck, brother. And tell Rayna that she's got my vote for Entertainer."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"And now," said Joe Nichols, "for the big award of the night: Entertainer of the Year."

The Bridgestone Arena grew silent and nervous whispers filled the air. This indeed was the most coveted award of the night since the Entertainer of the Year Award reflected not only musical excellence but also performance, awareness, publicity, and everything else that went into being an entertainer in the country music business. It was truly an honor even to be nominated for such an award, but for Rayna, winning would be an even greater honor. She had been nominated a few times back in the 90s and won the award once, but to win tonight would prove to the world that Rayna Jaymes was back and that she wasn't going anywhere. _And that she can hold her own,_ _ **without**_ _Luke._

"You got this, Ray." Deacon's mouth was near her ear, and she felt his hand rest lightly on her thigh. His touch was warm and felt good over the satin material of her dress, and for a brief moment, Rayna felt heat rush to her cheeks. She was reminded of all the times that his thigh-touching had led to much more, and the thought made her feel both excited and self-conscious.

Glancing around the arena, Rayna still couldn't see Luke. He hadn't come back after the bathroom incident, even though Raya had made it clear that he needed to suck it up and act like a goddamn adult. Apparently, he couldn't do that for her; apparently, he didn't care enough about her.

Sighing, Rayna put her hand over Deacon's and stroked his fingers gently, first his thumb and then the rest of his hand. They exchanged a glance, and warmth once again flooded through Rayna's system. All they had ever needed was a glance. He understood, and he moved his hand to take hers fully, squeezing lightly.

As they read off the names, though, Rayna felt someone sit down on the other side of her. Luke was back, his hat drawn down over his eyes, and Rayna felt Deacon stiffen on her other side.

"You're drunk," he said, his voice low and cold. Rayna stopped and goggled, for it was true – Luke's eyes were glassy and he smelled like the bottom of a whiskey barrel. "You asshole. You went and got _drunk._ "

"Yeah, I did." Luke looked directly at him, and he laughed. "Guess that's one thing I can have that you can't – a drink."

What had happened to him? This wasn't the man Rayna knew and had loved. Luke had always been supportive, but throughout the evening, he was nothing except jealous and _mean,_ to both her _and_ Deacon. It contradicted almost every feeling she had ever had about him in the past when their relationship was strong.

In that moment, Rayna fully realized that she was right – she _couldn't_ marry someone like that. Luke wanted to take credit for all of her achievements, and Rayna didn't deserve that. Deacon had never done that during their twenty plus years of touring and performing together, and he had more right to than _Luke_ did. It baffled Rayna, really, because she hadn't even worked with Luke that much professionally. What was one hit song when she and Deacon had performed dozens together?

"You wanna say that again?" Deacon demanded, leaning over Rayna to glare at Luke. He was only making things worse. Rayna put her hands on his chest and tried to push him away, but he didn't budge. "Have you got the nerve to say that again to my face?"

"Deacon, _don't._ " She was practically pleading with him now, and in the aisle over, Kenny Chesney caught her eye, looking as though he was about to come over. "Deacon, _stop._ Please."

"Yeah," said Luke, and he leaned closer, too. Rayna was literally smashed between them. "Whiskey is the one thing you'll always want but will never be able to have. How does it feel, Deacon? You got the bitch, and I got the bottom of the barrel. A bit of an upgrade for me, I think."

"And the winner is... Rayna Jaymes!"

In that same instant, it happened. With all the cameras trained directly on them, Deacon hopped over Rayna and pummeled Luke to the ground. The people in the aisles jumped up to avoid the grappling, and the entire room turned to see Deacon punch Luke and Luke snake out of his grasp and body slam into him.

"Don't you _ever_ say that about her!" Deacon was shouting, brushing off Luke's slam and countering with one of his own. "You don't even deserve to breathe the same _air_ as her!"

"She's got you wound 'round her little finger, doesn't she?" Deacon's fist collided with Luke's nose, and a sickening crack hit the air. Blood started to pool from the site of contact. "Doesn't matter anyway, though, does it?" Luke was laughing now, a wild, erratic laughter. "You got 'er, and I'm nothin' but leftover road kill."

Security arrived by now and was rushing the two of them down the aisle toward the exit while Brad Paisley swooped Rayna up in his arms.

"Up you come, darlin'," he said, ushering her to the stage.

Rayna went along with it blindly, her body moving forward as if floating on clouds. She was beyond feeling, and she was dimly aware of a quiet, sporadic clapping echoing throughout the hall as Brad practically carried her to the stage and accepted the award for her, muttering a few words of gratitude on her behalf before rushing her backstage. Luke's bloody face and Deacon's cut fist filled her vision, and she heard herself let out a low whimper.

"Rayna? Rayna." The vision cleared and Rayna blinked to see Brad, his eyes wide and anxious. " _Say_ somethin', Rayna. What happened back there? Are you alright?"

"No," said Rayna quietly, and with that, her eyes widened. Very distantly, she felt her lower stomach grow damp, and Brad followed her eyes as she looked down. He gasped, and some crew members came running over to her, touching her dress, brushing her arms, and rambling frantically in her ear.

"Rayna," said one of the assistants, a woman in her mid-thirties with pale blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. Vaguely, Rayna thought she was pretty, but the alarm in her voice was frightening. Rayna felt _scared,_ and she felt so very alone _._ "Your water just broke. We're calling an ambulance and are getting you over to the hospital."


	22. Friends in Low Places

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! Here's the next part of the story. Again, I'm sorry for the slow updates as of late. College is slowly draining me of all my energy, but I'm trying.

I hope you like it! Stay tuned for Chapter 23 and the arrival of baby Rayna Jaymes #3! Thanks for reading!

 **PS - I'm working on another Nashville story that focuses on Rayna's early life (I have a few chapters written already), so expect to see that one popping up in the fandom one of these days!**

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **22.**

" **Friends in Low Places" (Garth Brooks)**

"We're on our way to the hospital now." Rayna recognized Bucky's voice as she slowly opened her eyes, aware that she had a respirator mask over her face and that she was strapped to a gurney. "Yeah, yeah. Why don't you meet us there?"

"Buck?" Rayna's voice was weak, and she was confused. She didn't remember passing out. As her memories came back to her, though, she remembered what had happened at the CMAs, and she remembered what had happened to her backstage. It was then that she felt the contraction, which was even more painful than the false ones she had felt a couple months ago.

"She's waking up now," Bucky was saying quickly. "Yep, uh-huh... Great. Last I heard they're still at Bridgestone, but I don't know." Bridgestone? _Who_ was still at Bridgestone? Luke? Deacon? Were they coming? "Alright, yeah. Bye-bye."

"Bucky, what's going _on_?"

When Rayna had imagined herself going into labor during this pregnancy, she had imagined quite a few different scenarios. At first in the beginning, she imagined Luke driving her to the hospital, holding her hand as he drove while panicking slightly, like any anxious father would do.

As of late, though, she had honestly daydreamed about _Deacon_ being there with her. He'd never gone through the entire birthing process before. When Maddie was born, he had been finishing up rehab; when Daphne was born, he had been hiding from her and keeping his distance, clearly not able to handle the fact that Rayna was having someone else's bay. This time around, though, it was _different._ Rayna wasn't married, and she didn't have to answer to anyone anymore. Sure Luke had every right to see his child born, but at the same time, Rayna almost felt like she owed it to Deacon to have him stand there with her in the delivery room and hold her hand, just like he had for so many other things over so many years.

"You're going into labor, Rayna."

"Yeah, I think I know that."

"Okay, okay. I was just on the phone with Tandy and she'll be bringing the girls over to the hospital."

"Alright," said Rayna slowly, trying to keep her breathing calm and collected.

"You okay?"

"As okay as I can be, I guess."

Bucky nodded his head and then pulled out his phone, probably trying to do some damage control. From what Rayna had gleaned from her surroundings, the cameras had pulled away just as Deacon jumped over her, but it wouldn't be hard for the audience to guess what had happened. There would undoubtedly be buzz from that and from the fact that Rayna had floated up to the stage like a zombie supported by Brad, but at the moment, it was too much to think about.

Indeed, at the moment, all Rayna wanted to think about was her baby. To be honest, she wasn't expecting to have it so early. Her other two pregnancies had surpassed forty weeks, and this one was only at thirty-seven! Rayna had been so busy preparing for the CMAs and tying up the few loose ends she could for Highway 65 that she didn't truly sit down and get herself pumped at the fact that she was having a baby.

When she was younger, it had been different. With Maddie, Rayna had been completely _terrified,_ worrying about what would happen throughout the pregnancy, fretting over how to change and adjust her life, and most prominently agonizing over how she was hiding Maddie's parentage from Deacon. It was a little easier when Daphne came along, but it was still a big change. Taking care of two children was more difficult than taking care of one, and it was Rayna's first step into becoming the type of family woman that had eventually come to define her.

 _Now,_ though, Rayna hadn't been so worried about what to expect. She'd already done her fair share of child bearing and child rearing, so she didn't feel as though she were wandering blindly into a maze plagued by heavy fog. Rather, Rayna felt _excited_ to finally be meeting her new baby, whatever gender it would be. More prominently, though, as she was aware of her body preparing itself to give birth and as she was aware of what had just transpired back at the Bridgestone Arena, Rayna realized that her entire was going to change (hopefully) within the next twenty four hours

"I want –"

 _The girls._ Rayna suddenly wondered how they were dealing with this. She'd had plenty of conversations with them about the new baby in the past, especially right when they found out about it, but she didn't know if they were ready. What if they weren't? What if _she_ wasn't?

"Just lay back and relax," said Bucky softly, nodding to an EMT as she took Rayna's hand and guided her down on the gurney. "Everything's going to work out, okay? Just take care of yourself."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Can you hurry this up?" Deacon snorted at Luke's impatience. They were both crammed in one of the rooms back stage with the producer of the CMA show, who was shaking his finger at them.

"You _idiots!_ " he was shouting, his face red and the veins on his neck popping. "Do you realize how much damage y'all have done? Twitter is exploding over this. Thank God we cut the cameras before you really went at it."

"Then what's the problem here exactly?" Deacon couldn't help but feel impatient as well. While they were standing there trying to "work things out," Rayna was by herself (well, with Bucky) on her way to the hospital, and what she needed, he knew, was _him._ And probably Luke, though Deacon didn't want to admit it.

"The problem, Mr. Claybourne, is that you attacked Luke in front of an entire room of people _and_ on live television. That's assault, and we can't just sweep this under the rug here. It's a serious offense."

"Look," said Luke, strolling over to the man and stopping right in front of him. "I understand that this is your first year runnin' this show, but this ain't the first time this has happened."

Luke was right – a few years ago, a couple of the newest country music stars had gotten into a scuffle during the commercial break. Rob Steves, the old producer, had handled it brilliantly, though. The two left the awards and were sent directly home, which was punishment enough with as extravagant as some of the after parties were.

"I'm aware of that," said the producer hotly, "but –"

"But nothin'." Moving to stand beside Luke, Deacon crossed his arms and exchanged a glance with them. As much as they hated each other, they had to work together here. It was obvious that they both loved Rayna, and whether Deacon wanted to admit it or not, he needed Luke's help to get out of this mess. Individually they could probably make compelling cases, but together, they were unstoppable.

"Here's how it's gonna work," Deacon continued, staring directly into the producer's eyes. "You're gonna meet with your publicist and do what you have to do, and Luke and I are gonna walk out of here."

"If you're not aware," Luke continued, moving to also cross his arms and stare the man in the eyes, "Freakin' Deacon and I have some serious pull, especially as it comes to Rayna." At that, the producer's eyes widened, and Luke smiled. "Yeah, you definitely don't want the Queen of Country comin' after your tail, now do ya?"

After a few moments of silence, during which the man's face reddened even more and he was audibly gulping, he put his arms up and closed his eyes. "Fine. Get the hell out of here. Our people will be in touch with your people."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Mom!" Panting, Rayna looked over to see Maddie, Daphne, and Tandy pile into the room, Daphne coming to her right side and Maddie to her left. The contractions were picking up in frequency and Rayna's entire body ached, but she put on a smile and reached out to her girls, touching their faces lightly.

"Congratulations on everything, Mom." Maddie smiled and moved to brush Rayna's hair out of her face, and Daphne started to stroke Rayna's arm. "You did it. You completely dominated."

"Thank you, sweet girl." That all didn't even matter anymore, but they had every right to congratulate her. All Rayna wanted to do was scoop them in her arms, pop the baby out, and cuddle with all three of them, but she had to get through everything first, and who _knew_ how long that would take.

"I'm really sorry, ma'am, but you can't have your kids in here." One of the technicians came up to her, hovering awkwardly. "You can have two adults in here, but not kids. It's just a health precaution, you see."

"I understand," Rayna sighed. It wasn't fair, but alas that was life. "Girls, please go outside and buy some hot chocolate or something."

"Mom!" Daphne protested, clinging tighter to her arm, "I want to stay with _you_."

"I know, honey, but it's not allowed." Just as Rayna bent down to kiss the girl's head, another contraction spasmed through her body, and Daphne pulled away, her eyes wide.

"Go on, girls," said Tandy, reaching into her wallet and handing Maddie some singes before guiding them over to the door. "I'll come out and update you as soon as I can, okay? Come on, now."

After the girls left and Tandy came up to hold Rayna's hand, though, there was a small knock on the door. Looking up, Rayna's mouth fell open as, hands in their pockets, both Luke and Deacon walked into the room, their faces cut and swelled from their fight merely an hour before.


	23. Never Wanted Nothing More

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Ah! It's been SUPER long! So sorry for the delay. School has been busting my chops and I'm actually writing a lot for my classes, which leaves me a bit drained. I've been working on another Nashville story that I hope to publish soon, so that's taking up some time as well.

Here we are in the hospital room with the birth. I hope you like it! I will try to update as soon as I can! Thanks so much for reading. I can't wait for Nashville to come back on in March!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **23.**

" **Never Wanted Nothing More" (Kenny Chesney)**

"Hey." Deacon's voice was quiet and his eyes were intense as he continued to stand there in the frame of the door, his hands shoved in his pocket of his dress pants. Luke didn't say anything – he simply rushed forward to Rayna's other side and grabbed her free hand, shifting so that his body was blocking her view of Deacon.

"I'm here, babe," said Luke, and he bent down to kiss Rayna's forehead. It was a soft, gentle kiss, but as he did so, his shift of movement gave Rayna a clear view of Deacon again. His expression looked pained, and Rayna felt her heart sink as it silently reached out to him.

This was hard for him. She _knew_ how hard this was for him. This should have been _him_ fourteen years ago when Maddie was born, and even more importantly, this could have been him _now._ There's no telling what might have happened if they hadn't gotten into that car accident and if they hadn't parted ways yet again. Rayna was perfectly aware that things might have gone differently. She could tell that he was also aware of it by the way his gaze held hers and the way his lip slightly pouted, and yet again, Rayna felt so unbearably _guilty,_ for _everything._

As he turned around to leave, though, Rayna realized that she couldn't bear to see him go. "Deacon, wait! I – Argh!" A contraction spasmed through Rayna's body, and she squeezed down on both Tandy and Luke's hands, feeling her uterus practically explode as it fought to accommodate her baby's forthcoming entrance.

"Ray?" Deacon rushed over to her and stood next to Tandy, his eyes searching hers. Rayna realized that he probably never watched the birth of a baby before, so he probably didn't know what was happening. Did he think something was wrong? Was he _worried_ about her _?_ It made Rayna's heart flutter, despite the aching pain raking through her body.

"Excuse me, y'all," said the nurse, coming back into the room, "but, um, we can only have two adults in here with her." She paused and glanced back and forth between Luke and Deacon, as though trying to figure out which one was the father when they both were so clearly attentive to Rayna's every movement.

"Yeah," said Luke, looking up to glare at Deacon. A vein was popping from his neck. "So you can leave now."

Deacon's eyes narrowed and he looked as though he was about to argue, but he didn't. Bowing his head, he stepped away from the bed and turned around to leave, his hands back in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.

Just like he always has, Deacon did what he thought was right for Rayna. When he had first developed his drinking problem, he had hid it from her, thinking it better for her not to know; when he had fallen off the wagon for the third time, he had checked himself back into rehab without even consulting with her, wanting desperately to get better for her.

Even recently he always took the high road, what with the whole Maddie and Luke disasters. In that moment, Rayna fully realized the extent of his love for her to be putting up with all of this only to be let down time after time, and she realized that perhaps it was finally time for Deacon to get what he deserved, what she _owed_ him.

"No." Everyone stopped as Rayna's voice echoed throughout the room, cutting off abruptly as another jab of pain spread down her lower abdomen. "Deacon, you can stay. I _want_ you to stay."

"Rayna, he is _not_ gonna stay in here!" Luke let go of her hand and jumped back, his eyes wild. "God _damn_ it! This is _my_ baby, not _his_! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Sir, you need to calm down." The nurse came back and her eyes were hard as she glared over at Luke. "You can't stress her out like that, and if you continue this behavior, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

"Ask me to leave?" Luke repeated, throwing his hands in the air. Unfortunately, Rayna recognized this side of him. She recognized the feral, bursting rage, and she recognized that _look_ in his eyes. She knew that Luke had been working on his anger management lately and she knew that she had to be supportive of that, but if this was how he was going to be, Ryana didn't know if she could take it. It was truthfully just too much.

"She's right, Luke," she finally said, wincing as she sat up a little bit. Tandy applied more pressure to her hand, her face concerned, but Rayna merely shook her head. "You have to calm down. Deacon's gonna stay here in the room with me, so you can either accept that or you can leave. It's up to you."

"Up to me? Like anything has _ever_ been my choice!" Luke continued to pace the room for a few more seconds, his gaze rotating between Rayna, Deacon, the nurse, and Tandy. He had a point, Rayna realized. It seemed that Luke always came second when it came to her decisions, but at this moment, she was in far too much pain to stop and cater to his feelings and his emotions.

"Luke, I think we really just –"

"You know what, Rayna, I think I finally get it." He stopped right in front of her bed, staring over at her, _piercing_ through her. "You choose him. I think you've been trying to tell me that for a while, but I guess I'll just say it since you obviously can't."

"Luke –"

"No, Rayna." He cut her off and shook her head. Was he really going to do this right now? Another contraction took hold of Rayna's body, and she let out another cry of pain, practically breaking Tandy's hand in the process.

"I'll wait outside with the girls," Luke finally said, his voice cold. "Just come let me know when my child is born."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

" _Push,_ Rayna!"

"Ughhhhh!" Gripping both Deacon and Tandy's hands, Rayna tried. She pushed and she _pushed,_ but she felt that it still wasn't enough. The doctor continued to urge her on and she continued to push, but it was hard. Rayna didn't remember it being this hard. Was something wrong? Why was it taking this long?

"Is everything okay, doc?" One of Deacon's hands gripped Rayna's while the other was stroking her hair, making sure it stayed out of her face. He was looking over at the doctor anxiously, and from her half-closed eyes, Rayna saw the doctor frowning.

"This baby is just taking its sweet old time," the doctor responded. Rayna felt him move his hand near her opening, and she let out another scream as her body gave another spasm. "I need you to work really hard for me, Rayna. You need to push extra hard to get this baby through. Can you do that for me?"

"I'm _trying!"_ At this point, Rayna felt tears streaming down her face and she heard herself let out a cry. Tandy ran her hand along her cheek and then Deacon leaned in close to her, his lips lightly brushing against her neck.

"Just try a little harder, babe," he whispered, his hand moving from her hair to her forehead. "You're almost there. Just do it."

"No," Rayna protested, screaming again as her body resisted and as overwhelming pain started to blur her senses.

"Please?" Deacon's voice was gentle, and Rayna turned her head slightly to see him gazing at her with an expression of such a soft intensity. It was full of love and full of hope, and it was all Rayna could do to continue to stare at him, taking it all in. "Can you do it for _me_?"

For him, she could; for him, she could do anything, and she _would_ do anything. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she tensed and then took a deep breath before pushing outwards with all of her might. She grasped Deacon's hand as hard as she possibly could, and as she pushed to the point that she actually saw stars fill her vision, she heard it: a cry.

Suddenly Rayna felt her womb empty as she heard that cry and she heard slopping noises. The pain vanished, and as Rayna fell back against her pillow, panting hard, she was aware of people shuffling around her.

"'S okay?" she asked, feeling someone tug at her umbilical cord. Both Tandy and Deacon had left her side now, and she felt so incredibly alone. Where were they, and where was her baby? She wanted to see her baby!

"Almost there, now," the doctor was saying, and Rayna closed her eyes. She realized how incredibly tired she was, and she was afraid she was going to fall asleep before she even took a single glance at her new baby.

"Rayna?" Deacon's voice filled her ears, and Rayna opened her eyes, her vision focusing on his face. It was soft and excited, and looking beyond him, she saw the doctor coming over to her with a bundle wrapped up in his arms.

"Congratulations, Ms. Jaymes," the doctor said, smiling. "Here's your new baby boy."


	24. Stay A Little Longer

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** I'm SO sorry for the delay! I feel _ **so**_ bad. This is my last semester of undergrad and I actually got into a bunch of graduate schools and have been flying around the country checking them all out. So, I apologize for my tardiness, but here's the next chapter! I'll update as soon as I can, **and I'm working on another Nashville story that I hope to start publishing soon!**

Aren't we all glad that Nashville is finally back on TV?! Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **24.**

" **Stay A Little Longer" (Brothers Osborne)**

"He's beautiful," Rayna whispered, her breath catching as she gazed down at her son. Born at five pounds, seven ounces and twenty inches long, her newborn baby boy was cradled in her arms, little wisps of strawberry blonde hair plastered on the top of his oval head.

Luke and the girls had come in now, and vaguely, Rayna noticed that Deacon and Tandy had left. Luke was standing next to her bed with one arm wrapped around her shoulders and his other resting lightly on the baby's stomach. When he had rushed in and saw that he had a son, he had bowed his head and sank to the floor on his knees. Rayna hadn't seen that side of him in a _long_ time, and she realized just then how much she had missed it.

"Would'ja just look at that." Glancing up at him, Rayna saw tears pool up in Luke's eyes. Their blue depths were soft and bright as he gazed down at their child, and his arm on her shoulder was so warm and so gentle. Snuggling closer to him, Rayna lifted the baby slightly so that she could kiss his little nose, which so resembled her own.

"He looks just like you, Rayna."

"Really?" Rayna looked down at her son's long little face. "I think he kind of looks like _you._ "

They both let out a little chuckle, and as Luke bent down to plant a kiss of his own on the baby's face, Rayna felt a strange sort of contentment consume her. Sitting there with her baby in her arms, her girls plopped down on the bed, and Luke holding her, Rayna felt so incredibly peaceful. It may have had something to do with the hormones still oozing out of her brain, but it just felt so _right_ , and a part of her never wanted to leave this moment.

Things had been simply chaotic over the past few months, but this moment made it all _worth_ it. In her hands lied a new future, a new opportunity – a new little _life._ Rayna had admittedly been worried about how she would handle adjusting to the new baby while running her label and coming back from all the CMA awards, but all of her worries melted as she gazed into his tiny little face, swathed by the bright blue of his blanket.

Rayna had fallen in love with a handful of men in her life, but never had it felt as strong as this with her son.

"Hi, baby boy." Daphne crawled closer to peer into the baby's face, her expression soft and intrigued. Rayna freed an arm to pull her into a sort of side hug, and Daphne smiled as she bent down and gave the baby a kiss as well.

"What are we gonna call him?" Maddie was massaging her brother's head, and she looked over at Luke and Rayna expectantly.

The two exchanged a glance, and then Rayna's face fell. Just hours earlier Luke had promised the world a Luke Jr. if it was a boy, and here he was: their little baby boy. Had he really meant that? Rayna knew that he had just been trying to spite her, but what did he really want? _Why_ hadn't they talked more seriously about this before?

"Well, I guess we still gotta think about all that." Luke's face was still trained softly down toward the baby, but Rayna could feel his arm stiffen around her shoulders.

Sighing lightly, Rayna bent her head down to kiss her baby's fingers, one at a time on each hand. She knew a battle was approaching, but she wanted this moment to last just a little bit longer.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

They looked so happy. Staring at them from the window, Deacon felt the oddest of sensations rip through his heart.

Most prominently, he felt jealous, and he felt _bitter_. That should have been _him_ fourteen years ago with Maddie. _He_ should have able to snuggle her little nose and rest his arm around Rayna's shoulders, and by now, maybe _he_ would have fathered the rest of Rayna's children.

That was a slippery slope, though, and Deacon knew that. He loved Daphne just as much as he loved Maddie (although he was always afraid to show that due to Teddy's bad attitude about it all), so he didn't want to ever suggest that he wished she hadn't been born. And that baby, whoever he would turn out to be, would also be loved fiercely by Rayna and probably even by Deacon himself one day.

So even though a part of Deacon was jealous and wished to have all the things Teddy and Luke had with Rayna, he understood that things were meant to be this way. For whatever reason, God decided to test his and Rayna's relationship and put it through more tests than even fathomable, and for yet another, God brought them back together again to deal with everything. It wasn't easy to understand, and Deacon knew that he had to trust it all, despite how badly his heart was hurting.

As Deacon finally turned away from the window and rounded the corner of the hallway, he looked up to see Tandy sitting in one of the folding chairs.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Tandy had never cared for Deacon, but in that hospital room, they almost sort of _bonded._ The delivery was hard on Rayna due to her age and the baby's awkward position, and both Deacon and Tandy had clung onto her and comforted her the best that they possibly could. In the end, though, it was _Deacon_ who had helped Rayna make that final push, and Tandy could respect that.

"How you holdin' up?" Tandy's eyes were soft as she asked this, and Deacon was a little surprised. Even though they had formed a strange sort of comradery, he hadn't expected her to actually care about how he felt.

"Fine, I guess." Deacon had originally planned on leaving the hospital all together, but he decided to sit down on the chair next to Tandy's. It seemed like the thing to do.

"You don't seem fine."

"What?"

"You look tired."

"Well, I guess I am."

"And you look _sad._ "

Even though Deacon didn't know Tandy that well, he supposed it wasn't too crazy for _her_ to know _him_ fairly well. He and Rayna had been together since they were just teenagers, and Tandy and Rayna were always so close. Sisters probably shared all kinds of details with one another, and Deacon actually felt himself flush when he thought about if Rayna had told Tandy anything about their most intimate moments.

"Look," Tandy continued, "I know that my sister's life is a hot mess right now, but I know that she loves you." Yet again, all Deacon could do was stare. "Luke was a fun, low-key guy, and she never wanted anything too serious with him. But with _you..._ To be honest, I think she's always been waiting for you."

"Really?" Deacon had always thought that, but time and time again Rayna would tell him that she had moved on and that there was nothing left; time and time again she broke his heart only to steal it back and then break it again. What made this time different? How could Rayna _possibly_ break the mold?

"Yes." Tandy's eyes were intense, but then she looked away. "I just thought you should know that. I'm gonna go get a coffee."

"Coffee," said Deacon, standing up with her. She looked at him, surprised, and then he smiled at her. "Coffee sounds like a good idea right about now. May I join you?"


	25. Confession

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Sorry the delay (again)! I'm actually graduating from college this week, so I'll have a lot more time to work on this story once things calm down. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'll try to update as soon as I can! Thanks for reading!

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **25.**

" **Confession" (Florida Georgia Line)**

* * *

"Luke Jr."

" _No,_ Luke."

"Come on, Rayna! We promised the entire country world that we'd have a Luke Jr.!"

"Correction: _you_ promised the world. You can tell people what you want , Luke, but that's for _you_ to sort out. And besides, he wouldn't even be a junior because he's going to have my last name."

At this point, Luke's face flushed red and he paced around the kitchen, his hands over his head. The girls were out shopping with Tandy while the baby was sleeping upstairs in Rayna's room. They'd just gotten home from the hospital and Rayna had been planning on getting some rest, but apparently it wasn't going to happen just yet.

Things with Luke had been... complicated. It was a weird arrangement, really, but they were trying their best to make it work. Luke had been on his best behavior the past few days and had visited Rayna every day in the hospital, bringing her flowers, balloons, chocolate - the entire works, like any new father would.

But still, there was just something _off_ about the ordeal. Rayna had been married when she had her first two children, so it had been different. She had a loving husband who stood by her side day in and day out; she had a man who would take both her and the baby home with absolutely no complications. This time around, though, she had Luke, and she also had Deacon, which was far from an ordinary situation.

"Why are you doing this to me, Rayna?" Luke stopped his pacing to stand in front of her, his eyes pooling as he stared into hers. He'd teared up more in the past few days than he had in the past few _months_. "I get that you're involved with Deacon and all, but... Can't we just try and do this thing together?"

It wasn't about Deacon, yet it _was_ about Deacon. It was _always_ about Deacon and his influence on Rayna's twisted, convoluted life. Sighing, Rayna ran a hand through her hair before moving to sit down at the island, pushing aside Daphne's half-empty cereal bowl. Luke followed suit and sat down on her right, and Rayna turned to look at him, feeling a cold sort of sadness fill her heart.

"I really don't know what to tell you, Luke," she began, holding his gaze. "I've already said what has to be said, but I guess I'll say it again: we _are_ in this together. Our baby is as much yours as he is mine, and that's never gonna change. You _know_ how much I respect and value that."

It was true. Even with all the turmoil between her and Teddy and, in the past, between her and Deacon, Rayna had always found a way to give her girls the father time that they needed. It wouldn't be any different with Luke and their new son, but judging by the way he was acting, Rayna wasn't entirely sure that he understood that.

"You keep sayin' that, Rayna, but _how_?"

"We'll work it out, Luke. I don't know yet."

"What about right now?"

"For now he'll stay with me so I can nurse him, and you're welcome to see him any time."

"Any time I want?"

" _Yes,_ Luke."

"Really? Even if _he's_ here with you?"

It was like playing a broken record. Rayna understood how upset Luke must be since he wanted to marry her and since things didn't end up the way he had planned, but she wished for just one second that he would consider _her_ feelings and stop thinking about himself. Any kind of relationship went two ways like that, and when it came to having children, it went _three_ ways. Luke knew that with his own children, of course, but where were they? Did they care that they had a new brother? Did they _know_ that they had a new brother? How would they factor into all of this? And what would that all _mean?_

Now wasn't the time to go into any of this, though, so with another sigh, Rayna stood up. "You're welcome to stay, Luke, but I really need to get some sleep. Please excuse me."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"He's beautiful, Ray." Careful not to exert too much pressure, Deacon gently picked up the baby and held him in his arms, looking down at him. He had soft wisps of strawberry blonde hair that so resembled Rayna's, yet his face was long like Luke's. He was cute in that awkward-newborn way, and it made Deacon feel a warmth that spread from his toes to his ears. "He looks like both of y'all."

"Yeah, he does." Grinning, Rayna was watching Deacon and the baby as she sat cross-legged on her bed, her eyes drooping slightly. She had been taking a nap when Deacon arrived, and he had accidentally woken her up. She was so beautiful when she slept, though, so Deacon enjoyed getting that brief glimpse of her. Rayna normally had to be fierce and ready to take on the entire world, but when she slept, she could just be Rayna; she could just be the country girl from Nashville that she'd always wanted to be.

"You know what you're gonna call him yet?" _Please don't say Luke Jr., please don't say Luke Jr., please don't say –_

" _Not_ Luke Jr."

"Perfect." They exchanged a smile just then, and Deacon felt every ounce of feeling he'd ever have for Rayna reenter his system. There she was, sitting on her bed with her large, loose-fitting V-neck and her dark brown leggings, and there was her baby, nestled comfortably in Deacon's arms. There was nothing more attractive or more desirable, and Deacon just felt so _right_ and so at ease with the two of them.

"This should've been us," Deacon whispered, feeling something else pierce his heart. Rayna was staring at him, and he bowed his head, moving his finger to brush against the baby's chin. He'd said this to her before back in New York, and he couldn't help but say it again because it _hurt._ "This should've been us."

"I know." Her voice was barely a whisper, and Deacon heard the springs of the mattress rustle. "I'm sorry, Deacon."

He soon felt her hand snake up his back, and looking over, he saw her kneeling up nearly inches away from him. Her arm moved to rest on his shoulder, and her blue-gray eyes were so _sad_. He knew those eyes better than he knew almost anything else, and he knew just then how pained and how guilty she truly felt about everything.

"Rayna..." Without thinking, Deacon bent down and claimed her lips, crushing them stronger than he had originally intended. If Rayna was surprised, she didn't show it – she moved closer so that her arms were bent around his neck, and he felt her chest pressed against his and her tongue flicking against his.

Deacon didn't really know _what_ they were at the moment, but this felt good. Her lips had always been his guilty pleasure, and as he got lost in his hunger and felt his face and neck grow hotter at her touch, he didn't care about a label. All he wanted was _this,_ and _her. All_ of her.

"Well, isn't this cozy."'

 _Luke?_ Startled, Deacon moved away from Rayna and looked over at Luke's emerging frame, the baby still cradled in his arms. Rayna leaned forward to take the baby, cooing softly as he started to cry from the sudden jerk, and Luke continued to stand there, his face red and his fists clenched.

"I'll tell you what, Rayna," Luke snarled, his blue eyes mere slits as he glowered in Deacon's direction, "I'll be _damned_ if someone else is gonna parent my baby like this."

"Luke, don't be ridiculous," said Rayna, blushing as she shifted to put the baby on her shoulder, "we were just –"

"You'll see."

What was his _problem?_ With a quick glance at his baby, Luke shook his head and then walked back out the door, his body still tense.

"That's just great." Rayna sighed and went over to the baby's crib, laying him down. "This is all we need right now."

"I'm not afraid of that asshole," Deacon snorted, shoving his hands in his pocket.

But when he thought about it, maybe he was. Maybe he was afraid that he'd make Rayna's life miserable over custody, give Rayna hell about Deacon, wedge a gap between Rayna and Deacon...

In the end, maybe Deacon was afraid of the simple fact that Luke was in the picture and would never truly be out of it.


	26. Somebody Like You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hello! Here is the next chapter. It'd harder to keep it exactly in line with the show's plot since certain things won't be happening due to Rayna's choices in this story, but I'll try to include as much actual scenes from the show as I can.

I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **26.**

" **Somebody Like You" (Keith Urban)**

"Jayden." Smiling down at her baby, Rayna tickled his belly and placed a couple kisses on his nose before nuzzling it gently. "Jayden Wyatt Jaymes."

It had taken a lot of thought, but Rayna had finally settled on the name Jayden. It was a modern name, but it was a strong one, especially followed by Jaymes. Rayna pictured her son standing tall at thirty years old saying, "Hi, I'm Jayden Jaymes – attorney at law" or even walking around as "Dr. Jayden Jaymes." The name just felt so _powerful._

Wyatt was in honor of her mother (and her father, she supposed), and Rayna felt bad since it was pretty one-sided. Luke wouldn't have been satisfied with any name other than Luke, so he didn't put up too much of a fight. He was still peeved about walking in on her and Deacon, but he'd get over it. He was just testy like that.

"Mom, Aunt Tandy's on the phone."

"Hey, Tand," said Rayna, wedging her phone between her shoulder and her ear as she handed Jayden over to Daphne. She'd taken on her new role better than Rayna had expected. There was all that drama back when Rayna was still pregnant, of course, but now that the baby was here, Daphne rather liked being someone's big sister. Perhaps it gave her a break from always bobbing along in Maddie's shadow.

"Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but have you have you checked the charts lately?"

It was a couple weeks after Rayna had given birth, and she'd admit that she was a rather absentee label head. Bucky was handling everything at the office while Rayna kept in touch with her artists from time to time, but that was pretty much the bulk of her involvement now during her "maternity leave."

"No, I haven't. What's up?"

"Your numbers are falling – _fast._ You had a good boost from the CMAs, but since no one has heard anything from you, you're starting to fall out of fashion. Are you sure that you don't want to do that baby cover with Vanity Fair?"

Rayna's privacy had always been important to her, but now that she was ablaze from the CMA Awards, _everyone_ wanted an exclusive look into her life with the new baby. Vanity Fair had offered to do the entire cover and article spread while Rolling Stone was even interested in doing a piece, but Rayna didn't know how comfortable she was with putting everything out there.

She _knew_ that the reporter would ask about her and Luke's relationship, and she also knew that it would inevitably trail back to Deacon. They'd kept their distance the past few weeks in part due to Rayna's new adjustment and in part due to Deacon trying to work on his new album and his new touring schedule, but the truth was that Rayna missed him deeply. Her hormones had been on fire throughout her pregnancy and hadn't really quelled yet, but she couldn't even _begin_ to think about the publicity of her and Deacon getting back together.

"You know, I'll think about it," Rayna finally sighed, watching as Daphne tucked Jayden back in his crib and covered him up with a blanket. "I won't say no, but I'm not saying yes."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"That," said Deacon, putting the final touch of the little Christmas tree, "is not much to look at."

"It's beautiful," Scarlet insisted, frowning at him. Deacon wasn't used to having company around during Christmas, so he felt a little out-of-place trying to make his house feel warm and "seasonal," whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. He only had a half-lighted Christmas tree and a couple of corny ornaments that Rayna's kids had probably given him,s o that would have to be enough.

 _Beautiful,_ Deacon thought, looking back at his pathetic excuse of a tree. _Sure. Beautiful like a hog's ass in the middle of a mud puddle._

"I gotta get goin'. I'm giving Maddie her lesson at Rayna's house," Deacon said, grabbing his coat and his guitar. "So, I'll leave y'all to, uh... rest." Zoie was sprawled out on the couch, recovering from their night out. He hadn't pegged her to be much of a partyer (didn't she sing for her church's choir or something?), but sometimes youth had a way of bringing everything out to the open.

"'Kay, Uncle Deacon."

"Be good now."

"Yep. See ya later."

"Bye."

It'd been a while since Deacon had seen Rayna, so he'd admit that he was a little nervous. She'd been going through a lot with the new baby and the entire Luke situation, and after the icy reception Deacon got the last time he saw Luke, he didn't want to make things any worse for Rayna.

It must be hard, Deacon thought, coming to a stop at a red light. Rayna had once told Deacon that she was holding all these hearts in her hand and that she was trying hard not to break them, and he wondered how she felt about that now. Were there more hearts involved and more breaking to avoid? Or was some damage already done to the point of no repair?

When Deacon pulled up to Rayna's house, he saw several vehicles lined up on the gravel driveway – some cars but a good amount of equipment trucks. He pulled around to the side of the house by the garage, and he saw a couple of men with cameras walking up to the front door. _What the hell?_

Following the guys inside, Deacon saw Daphne sitting on the bottom of the stairs, and she ran up to him, her brows furrowed.

"What's goin' on, baby girl?"

"Mom's doing a story for Vanity Fair." Deacon's hand stiffened on her back. "I guess they want to hear about the baby and everything, and they had to come to our _house_."

To be honest, that surprised Deacon. Rayna was never one for publicity about her children, so this just didn't seem like her. There was a lot of gossip going around about both Maddie and Jayden and probably even about Daphne, too, so Deacon wouldn't have thought that Rayna would give the world even more to talk about.

"Daphne, they need you here to – oh." Coming up from around the hallway, Rayna stopped when she saw Deacon standing there. Jayden was poised on her shoulder and her arm was reaching out to Daphne. "Hey. What're you doin' here?"

"Maddie's guitar lesson," Deacon said slowly, raising his eyebrows. "It's ten in the mornin' on Saturday. Remember?"

"Oh no." Rayna closed her eyes and shook her head, sighing. "I completely forgot. Deacon, I'm sorry, but Vanity Fair is here, and they're –"

"What the hell are _you_ doin' here?" Luke appeared from behind the wall, and Deacon instantly felt his fists curl up. "This is a _private_ affair, Deacon. You're not welcome here."

"This is _our_ house," said Daphne hotly, her arm still around Deacon's waist, "and _I_ want him here. You can come up to my room if you want, Deacon."

It was sweet, really, and it gave Deacon just the right incentive to not go over there and beat the living daylights out of that bastard. He was so smug standing there, his eyes narrowed and his arm leaning comfortably on the wall, as if it were _his_ house and _his_ family. Like _hell_ it was his family!

"Thanks, sweetie, but it's probably best for me to just pick up Maddie and do our lesson at my house."

"Actually," said Rayna, her eyebrows creased, "Maddie has to be here for the interview, too. I'm so sorry, Deacon. It all happened so quickly."

"Yeah, so again, you can leave." Luke said it nicer this time, his eyes flickering over to Daphne, but Deacon wasn't fooled. _Possessive piece of_ _ **shit.**_

"Right," said Deacon, bending down to kiss Daphne's head and then backing up toward the door. "Y'all just do what you gotta do, and I'll see my daughter after. Have a good _interview_."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"What did you say to those reporters, Rayna?"

" _Nothing._ "

"Yeah. You've never said _that_ before."

"Deacon, just _listen_ to me." It was one o'clock in the morning now, and the house was finally empty. The girls were in bed and Rayna had just finished nursing Jayden, and Deacon was very upset. "This had nothing to do with you. It was about Jayden, the girls, myself, and a little bit about Luke. We didn't go into too much detail, and everything's _fine._ "

Deacon never understood the media and how Rayna had to constantly appease them. He was the type to just sing his songs at sparsely filled bars and then walk away from it, no one following him, no one pressing him. Rayna wasn't in that same position, though, so it had to be different. She had to talk about this stuff before she was even asked about it in order to control the conversation. That's what they did for Maddie, so couldn't Deacon understand? Couldn't he appreciate that?

"This is good for my label and for my family, so you just need to accept that."

"Whatever, Ray." He was still angry, Rayna could tell, but his voice was softening. "I still wanna see Maddie, you know."

"How about tomorrow? Daphne has dance practice, and I could drop Maddie off afterwards."

"Can't. I've got rehearsal all day before we go back out on tour."

Luke ended up firing Deacon from his tour right after the baby was born, so Deacon joined a smaller-scale tour with one of the old country legends. It was a lower key deal where Deacon just played a few songs at the beginning of the show. It didn't even have the type of official, binding contract that Luke had with his tour. Though Rayna understood Deacon's desire to get back out there and play his music, she wished that he didn't have to go. She would be staying put in Nashville for at least the next couple months while Jayden was so small, and a part of her was envious of his unlimited mobility.

It always seemed to happen like that. Luke was getting ready to take off to Australia for his world tour, and everything worked out for him. He was the proud, happy father going out there to support his cause and support his children, yet Rayna was the one who had to stay put, her breasts becoming machinery and her entire career put on hold. How was that _fair?_

"I miss you, Deacon," she finally sighed, putting Jayden in his crib and then falling into her bed. "I guess I... never thought that we'd ever be living separate lives like this."

It was hard because they were both stuck in their complicated situation. They were co-parenting Maddie, of course, but there was something _else_ going on. They both wanted it and had both made it clear that they wanted it, but for whatever reason, they couldn't act on it. It was like an invisible barrier was spread between them. They could see each other and want each other, but they couldn't break through and make contact.

"I know, Ray." The anger was replaced now with a restrained sadness. Rayna had heard it time and time again from him whenever she had talked about Teddy and her girls, and she heard it again now.

"Didn't you say that your contract is breakable?"

"What?" It was a bold thing to say, really, but Rayna didn't care. "Rayna, what are you tryina say?"

"I want you to break it and stay here," she said quickly, feeling incredibly stupid as she said it. "I want you to stay here with _me._ "

And she did. She'd felt better than she had in ages when she was with him around the time of the CMAs. She felt young again, felt _free_ again, and above all, she felt like herself. She could always be herself with him whereas, with everyone else, she had to be the Rayna Jaymes they wanted her to be.

Plus, she could really use his help with Jayden and the girls. Teddy was off doing whatever it was that he was doing while Luke would soon be on the other side of the world, so Rayna was _lonely._ She'd never been a single mother before, and even though it wasn't quite the same situation as most single mothers out there, it was hard. Rayna didn't know how long she could keep it up.

He didn't say anything, but Rayna knew that he was trying to process everything. He always took his sweet time processing.

"I know it sounds crazy," Rayna continued, fearing that he was going to hang up on her, "but I mean it, babe. With all the stuff that's been happenin' lately, I realized that it feels wrong because it's not with _you._ " She paused, aware that he was still there on the other end of the line. "I realized that I want _you_."


	27. Landslide

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** I went back in the last chapter and clarified that Deacon wasn't on tour with Luke anymore but with another country artist. Just wanted to make that clear in case you didn't see the change! Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **27.**

" **Landslide" (Stevie Nicks)**

 _"I'm not at your fucking beck and call!"_ Staring at the shot glass sitting in front of him in the dimly-lit bar, Deacon replayed his response to Rayna over in his head. _"I can't just drop everything because you_ _ **want**_ _me, because you_ _ **need**_ _me! How many times are we gonna do this, Rayna? When am I ever gonna learn?"_

How could she possibly _ask_ him that? She knew more than anyone how important this tour was to both his career and his new image, yet she wanted him to throw it all away? Throw it all away for what – for _her_? For _Luke's_ baby? The _nerve!_

 _But I love her._ Closing his eyes, Deacon set his chin down on the bar counter, his nostrils taking in the tantalizingly close aroma of the whiskey shot. _This is all I've ever wanted._

The two of them had been through a whole hell of a lot the past two and a half decades, and when Deacon thought about it, all he's ever wanted was to settle with her, grow _old_ with her. They had their adventures during their youth and they've moved on to be with other people, but no matter how they looked at it, everything fell back to the two of them. Like it was meant to be or something.

"Are you gonna drink that or just made googly eyes at it?" The bartender was standing in front of Deacon now, an amused look on his face. He was older guy, maybe sixty or so, but he still seemed sharp.

"Don't know yet," Deacon mumbled, sitting up. "I haven't had a drink in quite a while."

"Then why'd you order one?"

 _Good question._ Why _did_ Deacon order it? For as long as he could remember, alcohol was an escape. If things weren't going too well, he could always pound back a few and forget about it, feeling the buzz instead and consequently feeling as much or as little as he wanted to.

But eventually he had taken that too far and didn't know how to function _without_ the buzz, without the peace. Deacon had made excuses about it for the majority of his life, but truly, the only one to blame was _himself_ and his lack of maturity. He should have handled everything better, like he should handle it better now.

"Give this to that guy over there," Deacon finally said, throwing a five down on the table and then getting up. "I've got somewhere I should be."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Mom! Do you know where my soccer cleat is? I can't find it _anywhere._ "

"Ugh! Disgusting! Mom, Jayden threw up on my leotard and I don't have any other ones! What do I do, Mom?"

"Mom, where'd it go?"

" _Mom!_ I have dance in twenty minutes!"

Rayna thought her head was going to explode. Rushing over to the dirty laundry basket, she threw one of Daphne's leotards into the dryer, tossed in a Bounce sheet, and set it for ten minutes. Moving back out to the closet, she dug around in the corners until she found the stray soccer cleat, only to hear Jayden start crying from upstairs.

"Here," she said, tossing Maddie her cleat and then making her way to the stairs.

"Mom, what about –"

"I put one in the dryer, and while it won't be perfect, it'll be clean enough. Go pack your bags, both of you."

How was she supposed to do all this by herself? When she reached her bedroom and took Jayden from his crib, Rayna couldn't help the couple tears that spilled down her cheek. She unbuttoned her flannel and popped Jayden on a breast, and she knew that she had exactly nine minutes before she had to get everyone in the car and off to all their practices.

It was times like these that Rayna wished Teddy was still around. Despite the lying, he was still a good father and was very timely. He could make everything and anything work whereas Rayna always felt like she was flailing around, and what she needed, she realized, was someone _stable –_ someone (or hell, some _thing_ ) that could prop her up when all she wanted to do was fall. She was completely averse to nannies and to strangers raising her children, but would she have to compromise her morals with this one? Did she really have any other choice?

Just as she was about to pull Jayden away and dash down the stairs to get the girls ready, the doorbell rang. _Great._ "Girls, can one of y'all get that? _Please_?"

 _Who could that be?_ Rayna now had exactly two minutes to get everyone in the car, so she threw a towel across her shoulder, made her way down the stairs, reached the door –

"Luke?"

"Hey, Rayna. Just droppin – is this a bad time?"

His eyes swiveled from Jayden, the towel, Maddie, and then back to Jayden, and Rayna felt her eyes grow hot and her throat grow tight.

"Just trying to get Daphne to dance, Maddie to soccer, Jayden to sleep –"

"Hey girls, why don't y'all come with me?" Daphne came into the room, her overstuffed bag in one hand and her half-dried leotard in the other, and Luke smiled at her. "Let's give your Momma a break here."

 _Thank you,_ Rayna mouthed, putting her hand on Jayden's head and shifting him as Luke opened the door and shuttled the girls out, turning back to give her a wink.

 _He really isn't that bad of a guy,_ Rayna thought, plopping down on a chair to resume Jayden's nursing. I j _ust wish I had more to go off. I wish I had someone who could_ _ **be**_ _here for me._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey," said Deacon at the door, his hands in his pocket. "You ready?"

"Sure am, Uncle Deacon." Disappearing for a moment to retrieve her bags, Scarlet's voice sang as she popped back up with two duffle bags. "Memphis, here we come!"

After thinking about it long and hard, Deacon had to do what was best for him. He hadn't called Rayna yet, but he was going back out on tour with Corby Yorvin and his band. They were keeping it local and playing at just a few venues in Tennessee, so Deacon would be able to pop back to Nashville if Rayna needed him. _Or if I needed her,_ he realized.

It was all so very complicated. Back in the hospital, Deacon had felt overwhelming joy at being there to help Rayna deliver her baby, at being the one person in the world who she wanted. It was intoxicating, but at the same time, it could be dangerous. Deacon had a tendency to put Rayna before himself, but as he was starting to realize, perhaps that wasn't necessarily such a good thing.

Tired of all the Zoie and Gunnar drama, Scarlet had decided to come with him to Memphis. She didn't have anything else going on, and the two of them really hadn't spent too much quality time together. So on the road it was.

"You sure you don't wanna call Rayna before you leave? Just to hear what she's gotta say?"

Scarlet eyed him carefully as she threw her bags in the bed of the truck, and, rolling his eyes, Deacon shook his head. "Naw. It's fine, Scarlet."

"I don't know," she said slowly, leaning against the truck and looking down at her nails. "I bet she's pretty emotional and all, so don't you think you kinda owe it to her to let her know what you're doin'?"

 _Owe it to her._ What _did_ Deacon owe Rayna? This entire time she'd been playing him like his guitar, and though he'd gladly strummed along, he knew that he had to get serious one way or the other. Things were starting to get better between them, sure, but Deacon still owed it to _himself_ to put the focus on his music. Surely she would be able to understand that? She'd been supportive in the past few months, after all.

"Get in the truck, Scarlet," he sighed, tapping her arm and going around to the driver's side. "It's gonna be a long drive."


	28. If You Had Called Yesterday

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Sorry for the delay on this! Things are getting kind of hectic and I've had a lot going on, but I've been continuing this story and my other one, **Nashville's Sweetheart.**

I'm picking up on Season 3, Episode 10's events here (though they are of course modified since the wedding isn't happening in my story). I hope you like it, and please drop off a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **28.**

" **If You Had Called Yesterday" (Julie Roberts)**

"Hey, Deacon," said Rayna as the phone went straight to voicemail. She was trying very hard not to let her frustration shine through. "Just callin' you again because I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope everything's alright. Call me back."

It'd been a few days since she'd called him and asked him to break his contract for her, and Rayna was starting to fear the worst. It had been an impulsive thing to say, and even though she had meant it, she was worried that it came off the wrong way. She didn't mean to imply that she didn't value his career. She _did,_ but at the same time, she wanted to _be_ with him, for _him_ to be with _her,_ for them to be _together..._

"Mom?" Daphne peeked over at her from around the door frame, her brown eyes wide. "Sorry, but Jayden's crying again."

"I'll be down in a minute," Rayna sighed, throwing her phone down on the bed and putting her hands over her face.

This was her new life, it seemed. Changing diapers, nursing the baby, doing laundry, and being stuck at home in Nashville. Luke could go back out on tour and do whatever _he_ wanted, but Rayna had to stay with the kids, ever the maternal and nurturing.

In a way, life as Rayna knew it was _over_ since she now had eighteen more years of child rearing ahead of her. She loved her baby boy and she loved her girls, but the reality of her situation finally broke through to her; she finally understood the kinds of sacrifices she'd have to make from then on out.

 _Is this what you wanted?_ she asked herself as she draped a blanket over her shoulder and made her way downstairs, her hands trailing the railing of the stairwell. _Is this what you truly and sincerely wanted?_

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"These places are all good, girl! What are you lookin' for?" Deacon and Scarlet were roaming the busy streets of downtown Memphis. His show was over and he didn't need to go back on the road for another couple days, but he wanted to stay away from Nashville, primarily because of Rayna.

It wasn't so much that he resented her for what she asked him but that he was _disappointed_ in her for asking. Deacon's career had always taken the back seat to Rayna's, but now that his was starting to finally take off on its own and hers was at a temporary standstill, she was _still_ the one who thought her life was more important. _But was it?_

"We gotta get the whole Rayna thing off your back," Scarlet answered, her eyes still scanning all the brightly-lighted bars and restaurants. "There's gotta be a karaoke joint around here somewhere."

"Aww naw," Deacon interrupted, shaking his head. He appreciated Scarlet coming out with him and keeping his company, but this was taking it too far. "I am _not_ singing karaoke."

"You _are._ I'll back you up."

" _You_? Oh, one minute it's Nashfest, and now it's karaoke?"

"Shut up."

"No, I like it," Deacon continued, chuckling. It was so easy to tease Scarlet and get her riled up. She was such a sweet, genuine girl, but she had a bit of spit to her – she had a teensy amount of Beverly hidden in the pocket of her soul. "I'm glad to see you getting' out there."

"I just gotta figure out what I wanna do," Scarlet said, the conversation growing more serious, "and who I wanna do it with. You know?"

 _Yep._ Deacon understood that well. All his life he had only wanted to play and be with Rayna. Now, though, things weren't so black and white, and he too had to just figure out what he wanted to do and where he wanted to be.

But this wasn't about _him._ He had an idea of what Scarlet was talking about."Like maybe some ex-writer friend of yours whose girlfriend just left town?"

"Are you tryin' to ask about Gunnar? 'Cause if you're tryin' to ask about Gunnar, ask me about Gunnar."

"Okay, I'm askin' about Gunnar." They stopped now, staring at each other squarely in the face in the crowded Memphis street. There was that spitfire again, so much more pronounced than it had been even a year ago.

"Nothin' there, just… I dunno," she sighed, slowly walking forward again. "It's kind of like we had our chance and we missed it, you know what I mean?"

Deacon looked down, chewing his lip, and Scarlet glanced over at him, muttering an "oh." He knew _exactly_ what she meant and had experienced it far more than once.

"It's not too late for you, though," she added softly. _Was_ it? It'd been days since Deacon had talked to Rayna, and he was nearly certain she'd be offended by his distance and that it would rip a little hole in whatever they had been forming over the past few months. He loved her and he knew that she loved him, too, but it was complicated. It was oh so very complicated.

"Oh, look," said Scarlet suddenly, pointing to a guy holding up a giant karaoke sign.

"Oh, no," Deacon groaned as Scarlet squealed "oh, yes!" and dragged him toward the bar, laughing and raving about how she wanted to sing some good old fashioned country with him.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey, I'm back," Scarlet called as she got back into the hotel room. She had hung around back at the bar to talk to some people that she met, and she was feeling rather drained. A three hour drive, country concert, karaoke, and socializing was a lot to jam into one day. "You still up?"

When Scarlet entered the main section of the room, however, she saw something that caused her to stop dead in her footsteps and for her heart to start pounding: Deacon's body crumpled up on the floor.

"Deacon?" Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. There were whiskey bottles littered on the floor, some empty and smashed, and the cover of Rolling Stone was face up near Deacon – the cover featuring Rayna and her new baby.

Feeling the panic rise in her system, Scarlet went running over to him, shaking him. "Deacon," she said quickly, patting his back. "What didja do? Hey!" She rolled him over, patting his face. Still nothing. "Wake up! C'mon, wake up!"

There was only one explanation for this: he drank himself into another one of his drunken stupors. If Scarlet had known how fragile he was over the whole Rayna thing, she never would have taken him out and let him go back to the room alone. She was just trying to help by getting him out there and having him let loose a little bit, but was he really suffering that intensely that he had to resort to drinking? How could Scarlet have missed that?

"Deacon, _wake up_!" She was desperate now, and a series of moans escaped Scarlet's mouth as she ran over and grabbed his phone, dialing 911. "Wake _up_! Deacon, wake up!"

"911, what is your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance at the Peabody hotel at 314 mile," she breathed, still shaking his shoulders and slapping his face. "My uncle passed out and I can't wake him up."


	29. What Hurts the Most

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** Hey y'all! We're carrying along with our story here. I borrowed a couple scenes from a couple different episodes and pieced them together to make more sense in my story. It's hard to make things EXACTLY match up since my plot has become so different, but I'm trying!

With that being said, please read, enjoy, and review! Thanks for reading!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **29.**

" **What Hurts the Most" (Rascal Flatts)**

"Hello?"

It was Scarlet's voice on the other line. Did that mean Deacon was home? Did that mean he had been purposely avoiding Rayna over the past week?

"Hey, girl. It's Rayna. is your uncle around? I really need to –"

"Hey," said Scarlet quickly, "Um, it's not a good time right now. I'll, uh... I'll call you back later."

"What? Scarlet, is everything –"

"I, I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye."

With that she hung up, leaving Rayna to stare blankly at her refrigerator and wonder what the hell was going on.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Who was that?" Deacon asked, stretched out on the hospital bed.

It'd been a rough few days. Right after his first show in Memphis, he returned to the hotel room only to collapse face-down on the ground. At first glance everyone assumed the worst and attributed the blackout to drinking, but after some tests and scans, they realized the true brunt of it: cancer of the liver. _Cancer_.

"It was... Rayna."

Their eyes met, and Deacon felt his jaw tighten. "And what did she want?"

"She just said she needed to talk to you and I told her it wasn't a good time."

"Scarlet." Deacon had made it perfectly clear to her that he did _not_ want anybody to know yet. He could barely come to terms with it himself, if he had to be honest, and he couldn't even _think_ of how he could tell Rayna.

During their relationship, she had said one thing that always stuck with him: _"your drinking is gonna kill you, Deacon."_ She'd said it after he woke up from a blackout, as he was pounding back his seventh shot of whiskey, as they were laying in bed together discussing their innermost thoughts and worries – she'd said it since day one, and now it was finally happening. He was dying, and it was his own damn fault.

"You okay, Deacon?" Poor Scarlet. She was looking at him as if he were a bomb about to go off, and he couldn't blame her. Deacon understood how thoroughly unstable and irrational he had been in front of her before. He'd done a lot of things he wasn't proud of and that he wished he could change, and it wasn't fair that Scarlet had witnessed it all and stood loyally by his side.

 _Like Rayna,_ he realized, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

"Yeah," he mumbled, turning his head to look out the window. "Just don't answer any more of my calls, okay? You don't have to be my receptionist."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"He did it again," Maddie exclaimed, standing there at the island table eating her cereal, an annoyed pout on her face.

"Who did what again?" Rayna was busy putting together the girls' lunches and taking advantage of Jayden's early morning nap. Maddie was at _that age_ where her emotions frequently spiraled out of control and she made mountains out of molehills. Simple arguments turned into blown-out fights, mismatched jewelry turned into fashion disasters, having a curfew equated –

"Deacon!" _Oh._ "He canceled my guitar lesson, _again."_ Rayna looked over at her now, her eyes searching her mother's. "He just keeps saying that he's busy, but he's not on tour and he isn't recording, so why is he so busy?"

"Um, maybe he has a _life_?"

Maddie rolled her eyes as Daphne grimaced into her cereal bowl. Rayna came up to them. "Well honey, d'you want me to see if someone else is available?" There was no need to dwell on Deacon's availability. "Collin and Linda might be able to do it."

"Can you just... call him and figure out why he's being so _weird_?"

She wished she could. Oh, how Rayna wished she could! "It might be better if you call him," she said carefully, painfully aware of what had happened the _last_ time she had called him. "Deacon and I are giving each other a little space right now."

" _I_ don't need space, Mom," Maddie snapped, dropping her spoon. "Why do _your_ issues with him always have to affect me?" With that she shoved her bowl away and got up, storming back toward her bedroom.

Rayna didn't have an answer for it, really, but it always did. Deacon was just like that – he avoided everyone he cared about when things got tough. He was an escapist, like all alcoholics are, and space was akin to breathing; space was the only thing that could keep everything together for him. But it wasn't fair to Maddie. _Or to me,_ she thought.

Looking over at Daphne, who was watching her with wide eyes, Rayna feigned a smile. Like always, she had to be strong. "Alright, sweet girl. Finish up and then get your bag ready for school."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The door knocked just as Scarlet came out to announce that dinner was ready, and Deacon looked over at her. "You expectin' somebody?"

"Nuh-uh."

Shrugging, Deacon got up and headed over to the door, opening it to see none other than Rayna Jaymes standing in its frame.

"Hey," she said, looking at him warily. She was wearing a brown leather jacket over a gray and black blouse, and she just had this _air_ about her that exuded a deep, heavy kind of sadness.

"Hey."

"Can I come in?" Was she serious? He'd told her that he needed his space with everything going on, yet there she was, showing up anyway. He had half a mind to tell her no and to close the door in her face.

"Yeah," he said instead, moving back. He couldn't do that to her. "Of course. Come in."

"Hey, Scarlet," she said kindly as she stepped inside. "How're you doin'?"

"Good," Scarlet answered nervously, eyeing the two of them. This is what Scarlet had wanted, Deacon knew, but she was probably nervous at how Deacon was going to handle Rayna's appearance. It was quiet for another moment before Scarlet said, "I'm just gonna… go" and walked back to the kitchen.

Deacon laughed, partially at Scarlet, and partially out of nerves. Truly, how awkward was this? What was a person even supposed to do in this situation? He'd been ignoring Rayna's calls for almost two weeks, yet there she was, showing up at his doorstep, as determined as always.

"Hi," she simply said again, smiling shyly at him. Deacon loved that smile – that little half smile that lit up her face yet held something back. She'd smiled that smile a million times when they had first met, and he had missed it when they had gotten closer and she was no longer shy around him. But it was there again since things were less than comfortable between them, and even though the silence was painful, Deacon enjoyed that smile.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry to drop in so late," she said, "but, you know, I had to get the baby down and call someone over to watch him and everything."

"Oh."

"It's been a day," she continued, rambling, "and, well… There's just a lot going on.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. _If she only knew how much was_ _ **really**_ _going on!_

"But I did wanna talk to you. I _need_ to talk to you."

Well, they were there, so why not? Deacon couldn't avoid her forever, especially since he was grounded in Nashville to discuss his treatment options. She'd realize that he was around eventually, so they may as well get it over with; they may as well hit it head-on.

"So," she said, taking a deep breath, "I asked you to come back from your tour to be with me for a lot of reasons. There were a lot of things that were making me feel like… not me, you know?"

He could guess. A new baby, new label, new lifestyle, crumbling love life, multiple suitors… That wasn't the Rayna Jaymes Deacon knew. Not at _all._

"In calling you, it was like I was tryin' to protect myself somehow. But also, it's because I love you." She paused to look at him, look _through_ him, and Deacon felt his heart start to beat faster. "I've loved you since the first time I ever laid eyes on you, the first time I ever heard you play a note on the guitar, the first time I ever heard you laugh…" She was smiling while tears were pooling up in her eyes, and Deacon was smiling, too. He could have been saying the same exact things back to her. He'd indeed always loved her and probably always would.

"And I've loved you even through all the hell we put each other through," she added, her tears now transitioning to those of sadness. "I love you now, despite the Luke drama and the baby drama. I _choose_ you now, despite the drama."

Deacon had been waiting to hear her say this for years. He had wanted to hear it so badly that he would have done _anything_. He had watched her prance around with Luke with the sharpest of pains in his heart, and he had watched her carry and birth his baby with the most torturous dose of reality and humility.

He'd been waiting so very long to hear her say that, to hear her say "I choose you," but now that it finally happened, Deacon didn't know what to do with it. Given the circumstances of his health, his career, and all the stuff going on with Rayna, Deacon just didn't know.

"But I originally broke it off between us because I didn't want the pain."

Deacon didn't expect her to say _that._ It was true, though.

"I never meant to cause you that pain," he whispered, searching her eyes. "You know that if I could do it all over again…"

"I know." It was an understanding "I know" for Rayna truly did understand. She knew him better than anyone else, and she'd stuck with him in one way or another for all these years. "But, with everything happening, I think I might need a little bit of time, and I'm sorry to have rushed into everything recently."

Deacon knew this had been coming. Rayna was a hormonal mess at the moment. She was juggling three kids, a label, multiple artists, her own career, and God knows what else.

But the thing is, _Deacon_ didn't have any time. Time was running out for him, and he didn't have time to be moody and emotional over recent events and all the drama. He needed to rise above it and cherish what little time he had left; he had to cut all the bullshit and start acting like a _man._

"Rayna," he said, opening his mouth.

But he looked at her, and those eyes – those damn, beautiful eyes – cut through him. They said "I'm sorry" and "I love you" in the same blink, and he knew that she was hurting. She'd been hurting for a long time, and even though he wanted nothing more than to tell her about his cancer and make the most of their time left together, he just couldn't do that to her. He just couldn't cause her more pain.

"You take as much time as you need."

"Okay." She smiled, and he smiled back, though halfheartedly. He followed her to the door and held it open for her, watching her walk back to her SUV. When she started up the engine and was gone, he closed the door, leaned back against it, and closed his eyes, wondering why in the _hell_ he let her drive off.


	30. Where Were You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** So sad to hear about the show, y'all! Let's cross our fingers and hope that another network/Netflix/Hulu/etc. picks it up for even a partial fifth season! i just don't like things being left the way they are. I think some closure is needed to end such a powerful show.

Anyway, I'm going to keep writing this story and, hell, will probably keep writing Nashville stories period because it's still alive in spirit. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think. The beginning and end scenes are ones from the show with expanded thoughts.

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **30.**

 **"Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)" (Alan Jackson)**

"What's goin' on with you?" Deacon asked as Scarlet rubbed the dishes clean excessively.

"Nothin'," she insisted, tossing him a guarded look. "Why?"

It was comical, really – her hair was all messed up and her arms were moving furiously back and forth over each and every dish. Deacon would bet that the sponge in her hand was already starting to fall apart. "Because you're doin' that crazy cleaning you do when you're nervous or you're mad or you're busted up about somethin'."

"It's just messy in here's all."

"Hey," he said softly, putting an arm on her arm as she passed by. They'd heard from the doctor that Deacon needed a liver transplant, and they had faced the reality of the situation – he needed one soon, and if his tumor got any bigger, it would be too late.

Deacon knew that it was hard on her. He had been Scarlet's father figure for as long as she could remember. Her own father hadn't been around long enough, so Deacon could image how shaken she must be. "I'm gonna be okay." He didn't believe it, but he had to say it for her.

"I know," she said stoically, her eyes dropping to the ground. She was quiet for a moment, and Deacon was about to reach over and pull her into a hug when there was a loud knock on the door.

"You expecting someone?" Deacon wasn't. Who'd be at their door at eight o'clock on a Tuesday morning?

"Maybe..." Scarlet walked toward the door, and as Deacon put his fingers in place to play the next chord he was working on, he heard the excited squeal of Beverly erupt from the doorstep.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey." Luke was standing in the door, his cowboy hat tilted over his eyes and his arm leaning comfortably against the frame. "How ya doin'?"

"Fine, thanks. Come on in."

The girls were already at school, and with Luke here to visit Jayden, Rayna was free to go out for a bit. She was working with Sadie on getting her new album ready, which was harder to manage while working from home. Bucky had been holding down the fort and handling mostly everything, but there were some things that Rayna had to do herself, such as calm down her anxious, nervous artists.

"Is he sleepin' right now?"

"Yeah, but he'll be up soon." Rayna went over to the fridge and pointed to some bottles. "I pumped some extra milk, and it should be enough until I get back. If not, there's some formula over here in the cupboard."

"Alright."

Their relationship had been very strained as of late. He was currently back in town for a while and had taken the time to come see Jayden practically every day. Rayna didn't really mind (when he came over, he took one less responsibility off her shoulders that usually allowed her time to clean and do everything else she needed to do), and things were working out the best they possibly could between them.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rayna looked up from her bag to see Luke staring at her, his blue eyes soft. "I know things are complicated and everything, Rayna, but we don't gotta be strangers here. I'm here to talk if you want."

He could be sweet sometimes. That was what Rayna had initially liked so much about him. When Jeff had practically pinned her down and tortured her to sing up there on the stage after her surgery, Luke swept in and sang for her when she couldn't hit the notes, prompting the entire audience to do so and for Rayna to get the courage to find her voice and belt it out again.

Things had changed since then, of course, and there was now a baby boy involved in their relationship, but maybe he was right; perhaps they could at least try to be friends.

"It'd take a whole lotta time to hear what I've got to say," Rayna laughed, pulling up a chair at the island and sitting next to him.

"Well, I got some time," Luke answered, smiling over at her and tilting his head toward her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey!" Scarlet was coming down the hallway, and Deacon signaled to her, snapping toward Beverly's room. "Damn it, Scarlet!"

The diagnosis had taken a toll on everyone, but that _didn't_ necessitate Scarlet going ahead and calling everyone in their whole damned family. "This is _my_ disease, you understand me? I get to tell _who_ I want _when_ I want, and your mother? She is _not_ on that list."

"Why not? She could be a match."

"She's not gonna do that!" Did Scarlet forget about everything that had ever happened between Beverly and Deacon? Even just recently outside of Scarlet's hospital room? "And I sure as hell a'int gonna ask her!"

"Don't be so stubborn! She's your _sister;_ she could _save_ you –"

"I a'int gonna ask," he said tightly, glaring directly into her eyes.

"Do you know how hard it is to get on one of them lists?"

He did. The doctors had been honest with them, and Deacon knew that the odds were against him on this one. He felt his mortality swirl around him like dust particles in the air, but even though it was suffocating and overwhelming and disheartening, he would _not_ stoop so low as to ask Beverly. Not in a million years.

"A'int gonna a –" Deacon realized that he couldn't finish the word. It was like a guttural stop – the rest of the word "ask" just didn't come out, and he was left standing there with his mouth open, wondering what the hell was going on.

"Fine, I will."

"I a'in gonna a…. sk," he tried again, able to finish the word after a very concentrated effort.

"Yeah, I heard you the first three times."

"A'int…" That was it. Nothing else would follow. Deacon tried and he tried, but he felt his mouth muscles completely lose control. "A'int… a…"

"What's wrong?" Scarlet suddenly understood and stopped nagging him, looking at him intently.

"A'int…. a…" He moved closer to her, putting his arms on hers and staring at her, willing the words to come while realizing that they weren't going to. "A'int gonna… a…"

"Sit down." Scarlet pulled him down to the couch, his arms still grasping hers. He felt safe with her, to be sure, but a strong surge of panic surged through him as his mouth kept flubbering while his brain practically shouted out the words to him. "Just say somethin' else."

"A'int gonna as…." He tried to say it again, but he couldn't. Scarlet cupped his face and stared at him, searching his eyes as his frantically searched hers. _What's happening to me? Is this it? Am I dying?_

"Momma, get in here _now_!" Scarlet screamed, turning back to look at Deacon, asking him what was going on as he tried desperately to speak but couldn't make his mouth cooperate with his thoughts.

 _This is it,_ a part of him thought as Beverly came running in, her face puzzled and alarmed. _Oh God, it's all gonna start happening to me now._


	31. Attitude Adjustment

**Disclaimer: I do not own Nashville or any of its music, characters, and dialogue.**

 **A/N:** So, I realize that I've pretty much kept Teddy out of my story, so I'm not going to go with the whole "Teddy got blackmailed to sign Maddie to Edgehill" storyline. I think it's best to not overcomplicate my own storylines with that, and also, I think that things very well may have worked out differently if what I'm writing about actually happened.

Anyway, I'm picking on up Season 3, episode 12 (minus the record deal stuff, of course!) and am adding in my own Rayna, Luke, and Maddie stuff. I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!

And YAY for Nashville getting picked up by CMT/Hulu!

* * *

 **Ball and Chain(ed)**

 **31.**

 **"Attitude Adjustment" (Hank Williams Jr.)**

In spite of himself, he did it. Hunched over his computer, Deacon typed in those four, dreadful words: liver cancer life expectancy. Images and clips flashed before his eyes as he clicked and browsed and filtered through all the information, but one phrase stood out: six months.

 _Six months._ A lot could happen in six months. Deacon had gone in and out of rehab five times in six months. Rayna had gotten married and had a baby in practically six months. Maddie grew about four inches taller in six months. Six months was a _lot._

Scarlet was rambling on about milk and alternative treatments, but Deacon wasn't paying attention. His mind was warping, and it was all he could do to blink when Scarlet came over and rested her chin on the top of his head, telling him to say hello to Maddie for her as his Facetime rang.

"Why's she Facetimin' me now?" he breathed aloud, feeling his heart start to race. Not now when he…. Not now

"Because you're her dad and she wants time with your face." Deacon closed his eyes, and Scarlet let out a sympathetic sound. "You can't avoid her forever."

And with that, she swooped in and clicked the "accept button," with Deacon yelling "no!" and Maddie's sweet little face filling up the screen. "Hey, sweetie."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Hey." The door shut as Luke came into the kitchen, setting a white bag down on the table.

"What's that?"

"A present for Jayden. Normally I like to have my kids open my presents themselves but, you know, he's a bit small for that."

Rayna laughed and went over to the bag, pulling out some picture frames and a gift card to a photography place.

"I just thought it'd be nice to get some pictures of him," Luke explained. He was looking at Rayna carefully, almost as if nervous of her reaction. "I've used that place before for some of my label shoots, and they do good quality stuff."

"How thoughtful of you, Luke." Rayna set everything back into the bag and then went over to him, extending an arm.

Their relationship had been strained since everything that happened at the CMTs, and this was a big step for them. She really didn't want there to be any bad blood between them, and so far, there didn't seem to be, even if Luke was still bitter and upset about everything. He accepted her hug and put his arms around her gently, cautiously, but he held on a little longer than Rayna thought was necessary.

"So, uh, is Jay sleepin'?" Luke shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked at her, his hat covering most of his eyes.

"Maddie is actually playing with him upstairs. You're more than welcome to go up there and join her."

"Thanks, Rayna. He lifted his head briefly to gaze at her, and Rayna felt a jolt of emotion. The way he was looking at her was so strange. It was a soft look, a tender look, but there was _more_ it. But Rayna just didn't know what.

As he went up the stairs, Rayna sighed and pulled out her phone, scrolling down to Deacon's contact. He had told her that he needed his space, and when she went to go see him, she had told him that she needed time. The truth, however, was that she didn't know _what_ she wanted. She wanted him, she wanted her family, she wanted her career… She wanted everything, and in the process of that, lines got blurred and emotions ran high.

Her finger hovered over the phone icon, but after thinking about it for a few seconds, she put her phone down, ran a finger through her hair, and then wandered off toward the stairs, wondering if Luke was still going to be awkward.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It wasn't fair.

Backing out of Jayden's room, Maddie was staring at Luke and her mom, who were both sitting on the floor playing with their baby. Luke was holding Jayden while Rayna tickled his little feet, and they were both smiling. They both seemed so _happy._

Maddie _wanted_ to be happy, for her mom, her sister, her brother, and herself, but she just _couldn't_ be. Deacon had been avoiding her and practically snubbed on her Facetime the other day. She was shocked he even answered her call, to be honest. She'd waited for so long to finally get to know him and spend more time with him, but after all this baby stuff happens, he and Rayna have a falling out and he doesn't want to speak to her? Not even when she's his own _daughter_?

"This sucks," she said out loud, rounding the corner and entering her bedroom. The tenth grade was hard enough at it was, and all this drama gave her a headache. There was no _way_ she could focus on her algebra homework at this point, which her mom had nagged her to do but which ultimately wasn't going to happen.

Sighing again, she reached down and pulled out her guitar – the one her mother had given her. Deacon got her a couple of "better" guitars, but this one still meant so much to Maddie. Her mother's mother had given it to her to channel her energy and focus on music, and Rayna had now passed it on to Maddie with the same intentions. Maddie felt a soft sort of energy flowing through it, encouraging her to dig deep and be honest with herself.

Without really thinking too much, Maddie picked some chords and started playing them.

"This is real life," she eventually sang, strumming on her guitar, "don't let it pass you by. Laugh and cry…"


End file.
